Wieland; or, The Transformation | Page 5

they
possessed to delight or instruct. This volume had lain for years in a
corner of his garret, half buried in dust and rubbish. He had marked it
as it lay; had thrown it, as his occasions required, from one spot to
another; but had felt no inclination to examine its contents, or even to
inquire what was the subject of which it treated.
One Sunday afternoon, being induced to retire for a few minutes to his
garret, his eye was attracted by a page of this book, which, by some
accident, had been opened and placed full in his view. He was seated
on the edge of his bed, and was employed in repairing a rent in some
part of his clothes. His eyes were not confined to his work, but
occasionally wandering, lighted at length upon the page. The words
"Seek and ye shall find," were those that first offered themselves to his
notice. His curiosity was roused by these so far as to prompt him to
proceed. As soon as he finished his work, he took up the book and
turned to the first page. The further he read, the more inducement he
found to continue, and he regretted the decline of the light which
obliged him for the present to close it.
The book contained an exposition of the doctrine of the sect of
Camissards, and an historical account of its origin. His mind was in a
state peculiarly fitted for the reception of devotional sentiments. The
craving which had haunted him was now supplied with an object. His
mind was at no loss for a theme of meditation. On days of business, he
rose at the dawn, and retired to his chamber not till late at night. He
now supplied himself with candles, and employed his nocturnal and
Sunday hours in studying this book. It, of course, abounded with
allusions to the Bible. All its conclusions were deduced from the sacred
text. This was the fountain, beyond which it was unnecessary to trace
the stream of religious truth; but it was his duty to trace it thus far.
A Bible was easily procured, and he ardently entered on the study of it.

His understanding had received a particular direction. All his reveries
were fashioned in the same mould. His progress towards the formation
of his creed was rapid. Every fact and sentiment in this book were
viewed through a medium which the writings of the Camissard apostle
had suggested. His constructions of the text were hasty, and formed on
a narrow scale. Every thing was viewed in a disconnected position. One
action and one precept were not employed to illustrate and restrict the
meaning of another. Hence arose a thousand scruples to which he had
hitherto been a stranger. He was alternately agitated by fear and by
ecstacy. He imagined himself beset by the snares of a spiritual foe, and
that his security lay in ceaseless watchfulness and prayer.
His morals, which had never been loose, were now modelled by a
stricter standard. The empire of religious duty extended itself to his
looks, gestures, and phrases. All levities of speech, and negligences of
behaviour, were proscribed. His air was mournful and contemplative.
He laboured to keep alive a sentiment of fear, and a belief of the
awe-creating presence of the Deity. Ideas foreign to this were
sedulously excluded. To suffer their intrusion was a crime against the
Divine Majesty inexpiable but by days and weeks of the keenest
agonies.
No material variation had occurred in the lapse of two years. Every day
confirmed him in his present modes of thinking and acting. It was to be
expected that the tide of his emotions would sometimes recede, that
intervals of despondency and doubt would occur; but these gradually
were more rare, and of shorter duration; and he, at last, arrived at a state
considerably uniform in this respect.
His apprenticeship was now almost expired. On his arrival of age he
became entitled, by the will of my grand-father, to a small sum. This
sum would hardly suffice to set him afloat as a trader in his present
situation, and he had nothing to expect from the generosity of his
master. Residence in England had, besides, become almost impossible,
on account of his religious tenets. In addition to these motives for
seeking a new habitation, there was another of the most imperious and
irresistable necessity. He had imbibed an opinion that it was his duty to

disseminate the truths of the gospel among the unbelieving nations. He
was terrified at first by the perils and hardships to which the life of a
missionary is exposed. This cowardice made him diligent in the
invention of objections and excuses; but he found it impossible wholly
to shake off the belief that