Who Was Who: 5000 B. C. to Date | Page 9

T. H. E., a man and woman who invariably called when we were taking a nap or dressing. Charming conversationalists. Recreation: Tea. Ambition: An invitation to dinner.
CONFUCIUS, A Chinese preacher of note. Lived some 500 years B. C. and taught the chinks the art of joss making, and how to do things backward. He also was the founder of ancestor worship. This still is practiced in England, but never in the United States or Australia. Recreation: Fireworks. Ambition: A Chinese laundry in every city. Epitaph: More Majorum.
CONQUEROR, Will The, of Normandy. Wrote "Hastings" and "1066" in all history books.
COOK, T. H. E., Lord of the Household. Entered the kitchen at a tender age. Soon acquired considerable weight in person, and in the management of the house. When she departed there was weeping, and wailing, and waiting. Diet: Usually large and everything of the best. Ambition: An American policeman, or Thomas Atkins. Recreations: Days off. Address: The whole house.
COOK, Captain, a real explorer who discovered the Sandwich Islands and who took the first Cook's tour around the world.
COOK, Doctor Frederick A., an explorer who said he discovered the north pole, but nobody believed him. (See Peary.)
COOK, Tom, celebrated ticket seller, author of captivating travel literature, and a tour arranger who guarantees to save you money. Owns and operates the Nile and Mount Vesuvius. Publications: The Come On Books. Ambition: Those Americans who want to see everything. Also "first timers." Address: Any foreign city equipped with tourists.
COOK (first name not known), son of the above, who helps his father save money for the tourist. He is called "fils" in Paris.
COPPERFIELD, Dave, one of Dickens' friends who assisted him in building a reputation.
CORBETT, James J., known as "gentleman Jim," one-time champion fighter of the world, and a "has been" for whom everybody has a good word. Many persons wish he might be the Corbett he used to be. Ambition: A white champion.
CORELLI,[2] Marie, an old-maid authoress who wrote delightful love scenes. She is said to have written some books which brought her fame and royalty. C. does not approve of society except her own. She remains secluded with her typewriter at Mason Croft, Stratford-on-Avon, only being seen by her publishers and the editor. Publications: See book stores and railway stations. Recreation: Flowers. Clubs: All anti-suffragette.
[2] Ed. Note: The editor hopes to remove this name before the next edition. Its insertion is entirely due to the machinations of book reviewers, who claim Miss Corelli's books have fallen into the "was" class. The editor never contradicts a book reviewer.

COXEY, General, leader of the only non-militant army in the world which did not take up collections or give away Christmas dinners.
CRITIC, Dramatic, a notorious prevaricator who tells the world to see all the shows, and thus preserves the advertising column for his employers.
CROESUS, an ancient John D. Rockefeller, who became wealthy without trusts, the Supreme Court, or the stock market.
CROKER, Dick, ex-king of New York City. Born in Ireland of Irish parents. From childhood he practiced the art of politics, which resulted in his gaining the friendship of the New York police force. C. was elected. C. was very poor. Later retired to his native land with two Atlantic liners filled with salary. Ambition: An Irish president. Recreation: English Derbys. Address: Ireland. Clubs: 1,100,000 New York Democratic.
CROMWELL, Oliver, a militant Presbyterian who entered politics, and went about England tearing down churches. He also assisted in putting King Charles I. out of his pleasure. Ran things in England on a reform-Cromwell basis, and after his death was honored by having his round head placed as a decoration over Westminster Hall.
CRUSOE, Robinson, F. R. G. S., traveller and autobiographer. Visited a sparsely-settled island in the Pacific Ocean; talked to parrots; found some footprints; rescued Friday, and returned to England to become an author.
CUPID, Daniel, a cute little fat fellow who called on every one at least once. Born shortly after Adam, and is still up to mischievous tricks. It was he who made kings fall in love with poor country girls; chauffeurs with their ladies, and beggars with princesses. C. held all men and women equal provided they were good, and he made the happiest people on earth when they listened to his voice. He witnessed several international engagements, but did not like them, as the contestants gave him a black eye. He also was responsible for mothers-in-law. Some roads he made very rough, but C. always was a good guide. At times he caused pain, but he said it never was his fault. When C. stayed in a house the sun was always shining. You should be at home when he calls. Ambition: That sigh. Recreation: Archery. Address: Perhaps you know. Clubs: None. He prefers the fireside and moonlight nights.
CURIE, Madame, one of the few women who