Weird Shorts | Page 2

deep breath, he continues, "As you know, your productivity
has been down, for the past three months. You've been late four times
and we've lost two clients, this week."
Sighing again, he continues, "I'm sorry to tell you that we're laying you
off. I like you personally...but, business is business."
"I understand. But, a quick question?"
"Certainly. We have a check ready for you, as we speak. It includes last
week, today, tomorrow, three vacation days and two sick days."
Hesitating, she rose from her chair. Those sounds are all that she hears,
as she returns to her desk, packs her things, collects a check and leaves
that office, for the last time.
EASTER EGG
Admiring the work of my Grandfather, I view the rafters that compose
the carport. It's just amazing! Sometimes the neighbors worked with
him and sometimes he worked alone. The product of their labor was
always beyond reproach!
Walking the length of the carport, I see an oval-shaped, light blue
object. It's discolored and dirty. And, it's just sitting there.

Running to the kitchen, to get a step-chair, I return in haste.
Gently removing the object from its lofty perch, I realize that nobody
ever found this egg.
I flash to an Easter that I do remember and I'm wearing a t-shirt from a
popular radio station at the time. Now, I am 35 years old and my little
sister looks so young, here. I badly need a haircut and I'm hating these
flair-legged Levi's. And, of course, he's there, looking angry and glum,
as he usually does. And, I know that there'll be a price to pay for his
mood.
Happy Easter to us.
I HEAR A HEATER
There's no school, today. It's snowing outside and most of the
Metroplex is closed today. No school. No work. I'm sitting at the foot
of my bed, waiting to determine HIS mood. "Maybe he'll want to spend
the day on the telephone?" No such luck. I'm not sitting here long,
before he enters my room and announces that I'll be cleaning the
bathroom today and that I should report to him afterwards, for further
instructions. Sighing, I am angry and somewhat grateful. "At least he's
not particularly angry today. God, I hate him!"
Shuddering, my revelry is broken. I am not in eighth grade, today. And
I will never be in eighth grade again. Today, I am a grown woman and
not someone's helpless victim. And, I don't have to hate anyone.
KARLA'S BACON
"Dude. You got lotsa bacon." There's a pause and I'm still staring at the
bacon. "And, it's just -- sittin' -- there -- on your plate."
"Take it," she says, while pushing it towards me. There's a can of
Crisco sitting atop the stove and my parents are screaming at each
other.

Breakfast is snapping in a skillet and I realize that it's cold outside and I
still don't have a coat for the winter. No one realizes that I've left the
table and I throw her remnants on top of my fries.
RUMBLE OF THE HALSEY TAYLOR
Rounding the corner, I spot the metal statue. It's a beautiful silver and if
I get really thirsty, it will be there for me. Just standing there, prepared
with cold water, to sate my parched palette. There it is. Just like in third
grade. My friend. My artwork. My Halsey Taylor.
Chapter 2.
Dreams
This chapter is comprised of actual dreams. The only edits made were
in minute details (names, etc.). They have occurred over a span of
twenty years. Man, I must be old.
But shapes that come not at an earthly call, Will not depart when mortal
voices bid.
William Wordsworth, Dion (V)
CONVERSATION WITH NORM
Screeeeeeeeeeeetch!
The wind whipped her five-foot-two frame like a personal tornado.
Is this a car, or a rocket!
"I have someone I want you to see," Shawanda said as she offered the
wheel to her still-smells-brand-new, 2006 Ford Mustang. She scooted
across the red leather seating, to the passenger's side and fumbled with
the sound system before settling on a R&B radio station.
Ann scooted in after her, assumed the wheel punched the rocket's
accelerator.

The ride was short-lived.
"Stop, here!" Shawanda announced.
"Thanks for the advance notice," Ann responded with a sing-song
complaint.
Shawanda was gone, just as suddenly as she had appeared.
A flash of light rounded her peripheral vision, before exiting the
vehicle.
"Ann, how ARE YOU?" Norm asks with his typical enthusiasm and
that odd, twisty smile.
Ann was always certain that Norm was laughing at her on the inside.
She still loved him.
"I am fine. How are YOU?"
Norm is slow on the, "Ahhhhh, we-llll..." And, he's fast on the, "You
know."
Norm isn't alive. Ann just knows this, by the end of Norm's