Watch Yourself Go By | Page 8

shouted as his curls floated on the surface of
the water above his hidden body.
For the third time "Al-f-u-r-d" ducked--or rather, was ducked,
swallowing another quart or two of Monongahela. Coming up cork-like,
he tried to make his escape. Up the bank he ran choking and crying.
Unfortunately, he took the track of the slide. Half way up his feet flew
from under him, landing him upon his stomach. Back he slid, feet first,
his nose plowing up the soft mud, his mouth filling with the same
substance. Terrified beyond expression, under the water he went,
choking, strangling, struggling. He felt that his time had come.
Popping to the surface, one of the older boys stood him upon his feet,
washed the mud from his mouth and nose and, by sundry "shakes,"
partially emptied him.
Fearing they had gone too far with their hazing, some of the larger boys

led him further into the stream, handling him as tenderly as they had
roughly, assuring him of perfect safety. He was caused to lie on his
stomach and, with Cousin Charley holding his broad, calloused palm
against his chest, "Al-f-u-r-d" was given his first lesson in swimming.
One boy declared, even before "Al-f-u-r-d" had moved a muscle, that
he had already learned to swim.
It was the consensus of opinion that the only thing that prevented his
swimming was his curls. To overcome this handicap his hair was
braided, tied and cross-tied and his top-heaviness reduced to a dozen
scattered knobs and knots--knots pulled so tight they glaringly exposed
the white scalp between, and the tying of which brought tears to his
eyes.
Even this rearrangement did not prevent his sinking time and again as
the lesson progressed and finally, the mischievousness of his instructors
appeased, he was led, half-dead, out of the water, up the steep bank to
where he had been disrobed. As he stooped to gather up his rumpled
garments a most welcome sound came to his ears:
"Al-f-u-r-d!" "Al-f-u-r-d!"
Contrary to his usual custom, the second syllable was not off the lips of
Lin until, in his loudest tone, he shouted: "Yes,'m!"
When he called for Lin to "come and get me," all the boys took a
header into the river, only their faces and hair-covered heads appearing
above the surface; they treaded water, or swayed around on the bottom.
As "Al-f-u-r-d" looked back on them they seemed like so many
decapitated heads floating in space, a sight that dwelt in his memory
long afterwards.
When "Al-f-u-r-d" gathered his garments into his arms, endeavoring to
hide his nudity, and started toward the voice, a laugh went up that made
the valley echo. Lin declared: "If the tarnel critters had been dressed,
she'd have thrown every last devil of 'em off the raft into the river."
Owing to conditions she hid behind Mrs. Hubbard's house and not until

"Al-f-u-r-d," in his unrecognizable appearance rounded it, did he come
face to face with his rescuer. Crying and sobbing he fell into Lin's arms.
Firing a volley of imprecations upon the horde that had wrought the
wreck before her, Lin kept up a continuous tirade against the boys in
the river; and addressing herself to "Al-f-u-r-d" between speeches, she
said:
"Fur gracious, goodness sake, ef you don't look like Granny Gadd with
yer hair braided over yer head like this; hyar ye air trapesin' through
town agin, mos' naked like ye did las' week. The hull town'll be talkin'
about ye. Ye'll give us all a bad name. Why didn't ye put on yer
clothes?"
"Al-f-u-r-d" sobbingly informed Lin of the cruelties heaped upon him
in which Cousin Charley had taken part. Lin's anger increased as the
boy talked. When he told of them throwing him down in the water
times without number, Lin's indignation burst all bonds. Shaking
"Al-f-u-r-d" violently she fairly yelled as she demanded to know what
he was doing while they were throwing him down. "Al-f-u-r-d"
between sobs, answered:
"I wasn't doin' nuthin'; I was gettin' up all the time."
Lin's answer was a jerk that lifted the boy off the earth. As she smacked
her palms together, she defiantly hissed:
"Ef ye had my spunk, ye'd hev knocked hell's delight out of some of
'em."
The defiance of Lin, the thoughts of the cruelties practiced upon him,
or some other force, changed the boy's manner instantly from sobbing
and supplicating. He became screamingly aggressive. Flying to the
roadbed, which had a plentiful supply of loose stone on it, he began a
fusillade on the enemy below that drove the whole horde from the raft
into the river.
"Al-f-u-r-d" had practiced stone throwing since he wore clothes and,
like all boys of that period, his aim was most accurate, as several of

those in the old swimming hole