Waste | Page 2

had. But I was at her sort of a
school before I went to Newnham. I know.
FRANCES TREBELL. [Very distastefully.] Up-to-date, it was
described as.
LUCY DAVENPORT. Well, it was like a merry-go-round at top speed.
You felt things wouldn't look a bit like that when you came to a
standstill.
AMY O'CONNELL. And they don't?

LUCY DAVENPORT. [With great decision.] Not a bit.
AMY O'CONNELL. [In her velvet tone.] I was taught the whole duty
of woman by a parson-uncle who disbelieved in his Church.
WALTER KENT. When a man at Jude's was going to take orders....
AMY O'CONNELL. Jude's?
WALTER KENT. At Oxford. The dons went very gingerly with him
over bits of science and history.
[This wakes a fruitful thought in JULIA FARRANT'S brain.]
MRS. FARRANT. Mamma, have you ever discussed so-called
anti-Christian science with Lord Charles?
FRANCES TREBELL ... Cantelupe?
MRS. FARRANT. Yes. It was over appointing a teacher for the schools
down here ... he was staying with us. The Vicar's his fervent disciple.
However, we were consulted.
LUCY DAVENPORT. Didn't Lord Charles want you to send the boys
there till they were ready for Harrow?
MRS. FARRANT. Yes.
FRANCES TREBELL. Quite the last thing in Toryism!
MRS. FARRANT. Mamma made George say we were too nouveau
riche to risk it.
LADY DAVENPORT. [As she laughs.] I couldn't resist that.
MRS. FARRANT. [Catching something of her subject's dry driving
manner.] Lord Charles takes the superior line and says ... that with his
consent the Church may teach the unalterable Truth in scientific
language or legendary, whichever is easier understanded of the people.

LADY DAVENPORT. Is it the prospect of Disestablishment suddenly
makes him so accommodating?
FRANCES TREBELL. [With large contempt.] He needn't be. The
majority of people believe the world was made in an English week.
LUCY DAVENPORT. Oh, no!
FRANCES TREBELL. No Bishop dare deny it.
MRS. FARRANT. [From the heights of experience.] Dear Lucy, do
you seriously think that the English spirit--the nerve that runs down the
backbone--is disturbed by new theology ... or new anything?
LADY DAVENPORT. [Enjoying her epigram.] What a waste of
persecution history shows us!
WALTER KENT now captures the conversation with a very young
politician's fervour.
WALTER KENT. Once they're disestablished they must make up their
minds what they do believe.
LADY DAVENPORT. I presume Lord Charles thinks it'll hand the
Church over to him and his ... dare I say 'Sect'?
WALTER KENT. Won't it? He knows what he wants.
MRS. FARRANT. [Subtly.] There's the election to come yet.
WALTER KENT. But now both parties are pledged to a bill of some
sort.
MRS. FARRANT. Political prophecies have a knack of not coming
true; but, d'you know, Cyril Horsham warned me to watch this position
developing ... nearly four years ago.
FRANCES TREBELL. Sitting on the opposition bench sharpens the
eye-sight.

WALTER KENT. [Ironically.] Has he been pleased with the prospect?
MRS. FARRANT. [With perfect diplomacy] If the Church must be
disestablished ... better done by its friends than its enemies.
FRANCES TREBELL. Still I don't gather he's pleased with his dear
cousin Charles's conduct.
MRS. FARRANT. [Shrugging.] Oh, lately, Lord Charles has never
concealed his tactics.
FRANCES TREBELL. And that speech at Leeds was the crowning
move I suppose; just asking the Nonconformists to bring things to a
head?
MRS. FARRANT. [Judicially.] I think that was precipitate.
WALTER KENT. [Giving them LORD CHARLES'S oratory.]
Gentlemen, in these latter days of Radical opportunism!--You know, I
was there ... sitting next to an old gentleman who shouted "Jesuit."
FRANCES TREBELL. But supposing Mallaby and the
Nonconformists hadn't been able to force the Liberals' hand?
MRS. FARRANT. [Speaking as of inferior beings.] Why, they were
glad of any cry going to the Country!
FRANCES TREBELL. [As she considers this.] Yes ... and Lord
Charles would still have had as good a chance of forcing Lord
Horsham's. It has been clever tactics.
LUCY DAVENPORT. [Who has been listening, sharp-eyed.]
Contrariwise, he wouldn't have liked a Radical Bill though, would he?
WALTER KENT. [With aplomb.] He knew he was safe from that. The
government must have dissolved before Christmas anyway ... and the
swing of the pendulum's a sure thing.
MRS. FARRANT. [With her smile.] It's never a sure thing.

WALTER KENT. Oh, Mrs. Farrant, look how unpopular the Liberals
are.
FRANCES TREBELL. What made them bring in Resolutions?
WALTER KENT. [Overflowing with knowledge of the subject.] I was
told Mallaby insisted on their showing they meant business. I thought
he was being too clever ... and it turns out he was. Tommy Luxmore
told me there was a fearful row in the Cabinet about it. But on their last
legs, you know, it didn't seem to matter, I suppose. Even then, if
Prothero had mustered up an ounce of tact ... I believe