War Rhymes | Page 2

help in the strife?Of the sahibs, and see the war through.
The Frenchman who made wooden shoes,?While airing his Socialist views,
Deserted his bench?For the horrible trench,?As soon as he heard the war news.
The wild, woolly, grinning, Turco,?From where the fierce desert winds blow,
Will give up his life?In the thick of the strife,?And go where the good niggers go.
The versatile Jap's in the game,?Because of a treaty he came,
For old Johnnie Bull,?Will have his hands full,?The bellicose Germans to tame.
The hard riding Cossack and Russ,?At the very first sign of a fuss,
Cried--"Long live the white Czar,?We are off to the war,?No more Nihilist nonsense for us."
The bold Belgian burgher from Brussels,?Has fought in a hundred hard tussles,
And is still going strong,?Nor will it be long,?Ere the foe back to Berlin he hustles.
The hardy cantankerous Serb,?Whom even the Turk couldn't curb,
In having a go?With Emperor Joe,?Will the plans of the Kaiser disturb.
The fierce mountaineers of King Nick?Got into the ring good and quick,
They are never afraid,?For to fight is their trade,?While their wives have the living to pick.
THE MODERN GOOD SAMARITAN
December, 1914
The road that leads to Jericho,?By thieves is still beset,?For Kaiser Bill, the highwayman,?Is there already yet.
Thrown thick o'er half a Continent,?His blood-stained victims lie;?The priest, in horror, lifts his hands,?The Levite passes by.
The modern Good Samaritan,?Kind-hearted Uncle Sam,?Exclaims, "This thing gets on my nerves?I'll send a cablegram.
But while the cash is going free,?I'll see what I can get,?And since these chaps are down and out;?I'll steal their trade, you bet."
SATAN'S SOLILOQUY
November, 1914
Hell hath enlarged its borders,?While Satan sits in state,?And gives his servants orders?To open wide the gate.?"My most successful agent,"?Said he, "is Kaiser Bill;?Just watch his daily pageant?Of souls come down the hill.
His friends who sacked the city;?His slaves who raped the nuns;?His ghouls devoid of pity--?The bloody, lustful Huns,?The 'scrap of paper' liars,?The burners of Louvain?Shall feed hell's hottest fires?With Judas and with Cain.
The unfenced city raiders,?The crew of submarine?That sank the unarmed traders?To vent the Kaiser's spleen.?The wreckage of the nations,?Ten million dwellings lost,?Murders and mutilations,?The world's great holocaust.
The workman's scanty wages,?The souls of sunken ships;?The faith and hope of ages,?The prayers from human lips;?The livelihood of millions,?The commerce and the trade;?The untold wasted billions?Man's industry had made.
For these I thank the Kaiser;?His efforts please me well;?The world becomes no wiser;?It's growing time in hell."
THE CANADIAN WAY
January, 1915
When times are good, and labor dear?We coax the British workman here,?And should he shrink to cross the drink,?We tell him he has naught to fear.
But when the times are hard and straight,?His is indeed a sorry fate;?We let him die, with starving cry,?Like Lazarus, beside our gate.
When all the battle flags are furled,?And wolf and lamb together curled,?We loudly sing,--"God Save the King,"?And bid defiance to the world.
When some must go to bear the brunt,?And check the German Kaiser's stunt,?We still can brag, and wave the flag,?But send the British to the front.
When Princess Pats charge down the pike,?And put the Germans on the hike,?We shout,--"Hooray for Canaday!?The world has never seen our like."
But when word comes across the waves,?The first contingent misbehaves,?We cry aloud to all the crowd,?"Them British born are fools or knaves."
When other men with sword and gun,?Would stop the fierce destroying Hun,?We count the cost as money lost,?And still look out for number one.
When other lands attain their goal,?Our name will blacken Heaven's scroll,?A thing of scorn, all men to warn;?A country that has lost its soul.
THE ENGLISH WOMAN'S COMPLAINT
March, 1915
We want to ask Canadians?To treat us not as fools;?We cannot learn to play the game?Until we learn the rules.?We ask them not to try to take?The mote from our eye,?Nor say, till their own beam's removed,?"No English need apply."
We try to be Canadians,?It's 'ard we must confess,?To drop our English adjectives?And learn to say "I guess,"?We've chucked the bread and cheese and beer,?We learning to eat pie,?So please cut out that nasty slur,?"No English need apply."
We came 'ere for our children's sake,?(At 'ome they 'ad no show)?Though 'tain't just what we thought it was,?This land of frost and snow;?But we never shrink at 'ardships,?And we've come 'ere to stiy;?So hustle down that bloomin' sign,?"No English need apply."
We aren't no cooking experts,?And couldn't make a blouse,?For, till our 'usbands married us,?We never 'ad kept 'ouse;?And then we 'ad our families,?But that's no reason why,?As you should flash your dirty ads,?"No English need apply."
At learning to economize?Perhaps we're rather slow,?But when you call for volunteers?Our sons and 'usbands go;?In all of your contingents?Canadians are shy,?But Colonel Sam 'as never said,?"No English need apply."
When, steeped in military pride,?The crazy Kaiser Bill?Let loose his hell-directed hordes,?To plunder, burn and kill,?And British lads took up their guns?For Freedom's cause to die,?Brave, blood-stained Belgium didn't say?"No English need apply."
Wherever danger blocks the way?An Englishman has led,?No storm-tossed sea, no foreign shore,?But