War Rhymes

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Title: War Rhymes
Author: Abner Cosens
Release Date: September 22, 2006 [EBook #19358]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ASCII
0. START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WAR
RHYMES ***
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War Rhymes
[Illustration]
By Wayfarer
FOREWORD
The reader of this booklet is not expected to agree with everything in it.
The rhymes express only the impressions made on the writer at the time
by the varied incidents and conditions arising out of the great war, and

some of them did not apply when circumstances changed.
They have been printed as written, however, and, if they serve no other
purpose, may at least help us to recall some things that too soon have
nearly passed out of our minds.
The outbreak of hostilities, the invasion of Belgium, the Old Land in it
and the rush of the British born to enlist, the early indifference of the
majority of Canadians, the unemployment and distress of the winter of
1914-15, the heartlessness of Germany, Canada stirred by the valor of
her first battalions, recruiting general throughout the country, the
slackness of the United States, financial and political profiteering in all
countries, smaller European nations playing for position, Italy joining
the Allies, the debacle of Russia, the awful casualty lists, the return of
disabled soldiers, the ceaseless war work of our women, the United
States at last declaring war on Germany, the final line up and defeat of
the Hun, and the horror and apparent uselessness of it all; some
reflection of all these may be found by the reader in these simple
rhymes.
MODERN DIPLOMACY, OR HOW THE WAR STARTED
August, 1914
Said Austria,--"You murderous Serb,
You the peace of all Europe
disturb;
Get down on your knees,
And apologize, please,
Or I'll kick you
right off my front curb."
Said Serbia,--"Don't venture too far,
Or I'll call in my uncle, the Czar;
He won't see me licked,
Nor insulted, nor kicked,
So you better
leave things as they are."
Said the Kaiser,--"That Serb's a disgrace.
We must teach him to stay
in his place,

If Russia says boo,
I'm in the game, too,
And right quickly we'll
settle the case."
The Czar said,--"My cousin the Kaiser,
Was always a good
advertiser;
He's determined to fight,
And insists he is right,
But soon he'll be
older and wiser."
"For forty-four summers," said France,
"I have waited and watched
for a chance
To wrest Alsace-Lorraine
From the Germans again,
And now is the
time to advance."
Said Belgium,--"When armies immense
Pour over my boundary
fence,
I'll awake from my nap,
And put up a scrap
They'll remember a
hundred years hence."
Said John Bull,--"This 'ere Kaiser's a slob,
And 'is word isn't worth
'arf a bob,
(If I lets Belgium suffer,
I'm a blank bloomin' duffer)
So 'ere goes
for a crack at 'is nob."
Said Italy,--"I think I'll stay out,
Till I know what this row is about;
It's a far better plan,
Just to sell my banan',
Till the issue is plain
beyond doubt."
Said our good uncle Samuel, "I swaow
I had better keep aout of this
raow,
For with Mormons, and Niggers,
And Greasers, I figgers
I have all I
kin handle just naow."

THE ALLIED FORCES
November, 1914
When Johnnie Bull pledges his word,
To keep it he'll gird on his
sword,
While allies and sons
Will shoulder their guns;
The prince, and the
peasant, and lord.
First there's bold Tommy Aitkins himself,
For a shilling a day of poor
pelf,
And for love of his King,
And the fun of the thing,
He fights till
he's laid on the shelf.
Brave Taffy is ready to go
As soon as the war bugles blow;
He fights like the diel,
When it comes to cold steel,
And dies with
his face to the foe.
And Donald from North Inverness,
Who fights in a ballet girl's dress;
He likes a free limb,
No tight skirts for him,
Impending his march
to success.
The gun runner, stern, from Belfast,
Now stands at the head of the
mast;
If a tempest should come,
Or a mine or a bomb,
He will stick to his
post to the last.
And Hogan, that broth of a lad,
Home Ruler from Bally-na-fad,
Writes--"I'm now in the trench
With the English and French,
And
we're licking the Germans, be dad!"

The Cockney Canuck from Toronto,
Whom Maple leaves hardly
stick on to,
Made haste to enlist,
To fight the mailed fist,
When Canadian born
didn't want to.
From where the wide-winged albatross
Floats white 'neath the
Southern Cross,
There