Uncle Vanya | Page 8

I dreamt just now that my left leg belonged to some one else, and it hurt so that I woke. I don't believe this is gout, it is more like rheumatism. What time is it?
HELENA. Half past twelve. [A pause.]
SEREBRAKOFF. I want you to look for Batushka's works in the library to-morrow. I think we have him.
HELENA. What is that?
SEREBRAKOFF. Look for Batushka to-morrow morning; we used to have him, I remember. Why do I find it so hard to breathe?
HELENA. You are tired; this is the second night you have had no sleep.
SEREBRAKOFF. They say that Turgenieff got angina of the heart from gout. I am afraid I am getting angina too. Oh, damn this horrible, accursed old age! Ever since I have been old I have been hateful to myself, and I am sure, hateful to you all as well.
HELENA. You speak as if we were to blame for your being old.
SEREBRAKOFF. I am more hateful to you than to any one.
HELENA gets up and walks away from him, sitting down at a distance.
SEREBRAKOFF. You are quite right, of course. I am not an idiot; I can understand you. You are young and healthy and beautiful, and longing for life, and I am an old dotard, almost a dead man already. Don't I know it? Of course I see that it is foolish for me to live so long, but wait! I shall soon set you all free. My life cannot drag on much longer.
HELENA. You are overtaxing my powers of endurance. Be quiet, for God's sake!
SEREBRAKOFF. It appears that, thanks to me, everybody's power of endurance is being overtaxed; everybody is miserable, only I am blissfully triumphant. Oh, yes, of course!
HELENA. Be quiet! You are torturing me.
SEREBRAKOFF. I torture everybody. Of course.
HELENA. [Weeping] This is unbearable! Tell me, what is it you want me to do?
SEREBRAKOFF. Nothing.
HELENA. Then be quiet, please.
SEREBRAKOFF. It is funny that everybody listens to Ivan and his old idiot of a mother, but the moment I open my lips you all begin to feel ill-treated. You can't even stand the sound of my voice. Even if I am hateful, even if I am a selfish tyrant, haven't I the right to be one at my age? Haven't I deserved it? Haven't I, I ask you, the right to be respected, now that I am old?
HELENA. No one is disputing your rights. [The window slams in the wind] The wind is rising, I must shut the window. [She shuts it] We shall have rain in a moment. Your rights have never been questioned by anybody.
The WATCHMAN in the garden sounds his rattle.
SEREBRAKOFF. I have spent my life working in the interests of learning. I am used to my library and the lecture hall and to the esteem and admiration of my colleagues. Now I suddenly find myself plunged in this wilderness, condemned to see the same stupid people from morning till night and listen to their futile conversation. I want to live; I long for success and fame and the stir of the world, and here I am in exile! Oh, it is dreadful to spend every moment grieving for the lost past, to see the success of others and sit here with nothing to do but to fear death. I cannot stand it! It is more than I can bear. And you will not even forgive me for being old!
HELENA. Wait, have patience; I shall he old myself in four or five years.
SONIA comes in.
SONIA. Father, you sent for Dr. Astroff, and now when he comes you refuse to see him. It is not nice to give a man so much trouble for nothing.
SEREBRAKOFF. What do I care about your Astroff? He understands medicine about as well as I understand astronomy.
SONIA. We can't send for the whole medical faculty, can we, to treat your gout?
SEREBRAKOFF. I won't talk to that madman!
SONIA. Do as you please. It's all the same to me. [She sits down.]
SEREBRAKOFF. What time is it?
HELENA. One o'clock.
SEREBRAKOFF. It is stifling in here. Sonia, hand me that bottle on the table.
SONIA. Here it is. [She hands him a bottle of medicine.]
SEREBRAKOFF. [Crossly] No, not that one! Can't you understand me? Can't I ask you to do a thing?
SONIA. Please don't be captious with me. Some people may like it, but you must spare me, if you please, because I don't. Besides, I haven't the time; we are cutting the hay to-morrow and I must get up early.
VOITSKI comes in dressed in a long gown and carrying a candle.
VOITSKI. A thunderstorm is coming up. [The lightning flashes] There it is! Go to bed, Helena and Sonia. I have come to take your place.
SEREBRAKOFF. [Frightened] No, n o, no! Don't leave me alone with him! Oh, don't. He will begin to lecture me.
VOITSKI.