wenn ich satt gegessen, Weg von meinem lustigen Geschwisterpaar.
O! in meines kleinen St��bchens Stille War mir dann so ��ber alles wohl, Wie im Tempel war mir's in der N?chte H��lle, Wann so einsam von dem Turm die Glocke scholl.
Als ich weggerissen von den Meinen Aus dem lieben elterlichen Haus Unter Fremden irrte, we ich nimmer weinen Durfte, in das bunte Weltgewirr hinaus,
O wie pflegtest du den armen Jungen, Teure, so mit Mutterz?rtlichkeit, Wann er sich im Weltgewirre m��d gerungen, In der lieben, wehmutsvollen Einsamkeit.[21]
This love of solitude is carried to the extreme in his contemplation of a hermit's life. In a letter to Nast he says: "Heute ging ich so vor mich hin, da fiel mir ein, ich wolle nach vollendeten Universit?ts Jahren Einsiedler werden--und der Gedanke gefiel mir so wohl, eine ganze Stunde, glaub' ich, war ich in meiner Fantasie Einsiedler."[22] And although he never became a hermit, this is the final disposition which he makes of himself in his "Hyperion."
These habits of thought and feeling, formed in boyhood, could lead to only one result. He became less and less qualified to comprehend and to grapple with the practical problems and difficulties of life, and entered young manhood and the struggle for existence at a tremendous disadvantage.
Another trait of his character which served to intensify his subsequent disappointments, was the strong ambition which early filled his soul. He aspired to high achievements in his chosen field of art. In a letter to Louise Nast, written probably about the beginning of 1790, he makes the confession: "Der un��berwindliche Tr��bsinn in mir ist wohl nicht ganz, doch meist--unbefriedigter Ehrgeiz."[23] The mere lad of seventeen had scarcely learned to admire Klopstock, when he speaks of his own "k?mpfendes Streben nach Klopstocksgr?sse," and exclaims: "Hinan den herrlichen Ehrenpfad! Hinan! im gl��henden k��hnen Traum, sie zu erreichen!"[24] It is remarkable to note how this fancy of a dream-life becomes fixed in H?lderlin's mind and reappears in almost every poem. Closely allied to this idea is that of a "gl��ckliche Trunkenheit," and expressions like "wie ein G?ttertraum das Alter schwand," "liebetrunken," "Wie ein Traum entfliehen Ewigkeiten," "siegestrunken," "s��sse, k��hne Trunkenheit," "trunken d?mmert die Seele mir," can be found on almost every page of his shorter poems. Hyperion expresses himself on one occasion in the words: "O ein Gott ist der Mensch, wenn er tr?umt, ein Bettler, wenn er nachdenkt, und wenn die Begeisterung hin ist, steht er da, wie ein missrathener Sohn, den der Vater aus dem Hause stiess, und betrachtet die ?rmlichen Pfennige, die ihm das Mitleid auf den Weg gab,"[25] which further illustrates the extravagant idealism by which he allowed himself to be carried away, and the etherial and thoroughly unpractical trend of his mind. The flights of fancy of which H?lderlin is capable are well illustrated by another passage in "Hyperion." Referring to Hyperion's conversation with Alabanda, he says: "Ich war hingerissen von unendlichen Hoffnungen, G?tterkr?fte trugen wie ein W?lkchen mich fort."[26] These facts have a direct bearing upon H?lderlin's Weltschmerz, inasmuch as it was just this unequal and unsuccessful struggle of the idealist with the stern realities of life that brought about the catastrophe which wrought his ruin.
And just as his ideals are vague and abstract, so too are the expressions of his Weltschmerz. It needs no concrete idea to arouse his enthusiasm to its highest pitch. Thus Hyperion exclaims: "Der Gott in uns, dem die Unendlichkeit zur Bahn sich ?ffnet, soll stehen und harren, bis der Wurm ihm aus dem Wege geht? Nein! nein! man fr?gt nicht, ob ihr wollt! ihr wollt ja nie--ihr Knechte und Barbaren! Euch will man auch nicht bessern, denn es ist umsonst! Man will nur daf��r sorgen, dass ihr dem Siegeslauf der Menschheit aus dem Wege geht!"[27] It is in the form of lofty generalities such as these, and seldom with reference to practical details, that H?lderlin's longings find expression.
Entirely consistent with this idealism is the nature of his love, ardent, but etherial, "��bersinnlich." This is reflected also in his lyrics, which are statuesque and beautiful, but lacking in passion and sensuous charm. H?lderlin's earliest love-affair, that with Louise Nast, is important for his Weltschmerz only in its bearing upon the development of his general character. This influence was a twofold one: in the first place his sweetheart was herself inclined to a sort of visionary mysticism, and therefore had an unwholesome influence upon the youth, who had already been carried too far in that direction. She too was a lover of solitude and wrote her letters to him in the stillness of the night, when all others were asleep. There can be no doubt that she had at least some share in determining his mental activity, especially his reading. In one of his earliest letters to her he writes: "Weil Du den Don Carlos
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