Twilight 4 - Breaking Dawn | Page 9

was motionless with
sudden stress. The gold in his eyes seemed to harden from a liquid to a solid.

I thought over my words, realized what he would have heard in them.

“Bella…,” he whispered.

“Don’t start this again,” I said. “A deal’s a deal.”

“I don’t know. It’s too hard to concentrate when you’re with me like this. I—I
can’t think straight. I won’t be able to control myself. You’ll get hurt.”

“I’ll be fine.”

“Bella . . .”

“Shh!” I pressed my lips to his to stop his panic attack. I’d heard it before.
He wasn’t getting out of this deal. Not after insisting I marry him first.

He kissed me back for a moment, but I could tell he wasn’t as into it as before.
Worrying, always worrying. How different it would be when he didn’t need to
worry about me anymore. What would he do with all his free time? He’d have to
get a new hobby.

“How are your feet?” he asked.

Knowing he didn’t mean that literally, I answered, “Toasty warm.”

“Really? No second thoughts? It’s not too late to change your mind.”

“Are you trying to ditch me?”

He chuckled. “Just making sure. I don’t want you to do anything you’re not sure
about.”

“I’m sure about you. The rest I can live through.”

He hesitated, and I wondered if I’d put my foot in my mouth again.

“Can you?” he asked quietly. “I don’t mean the wedding—which I am positive you
will survive despite your qualms—but afterward… what about Renée, what about
Charlie?”

I sighed. “I’ll miss them.” Worse, that they would miss me, but I didn’t want to
give him any fuel.

“Angela and Ben and Jessica and Mike.”

“I’ll miss my friends, too.” I smiled in the darkness. “Especially Mike. Oh,
Mike! How will I go on?”

He growled.

I laughed but then was serious. “Edward, we’ve been through this and through
this. I know it will be hard, but this is what I want. I want you, and I want
you forever. One lifetime is simply not enough for me.”

“Frozen forever at eighteen,” he whispered.

“Every woman’s dream come true,” I teased.

“Never changing… never moving forward.”

“What does that mean?”

He answered slowly. “Do you remember when we told Charlie we were getting
married? And he thought you were… pregnant?”

“And he thought about shooting you,” I guessed with a laugh. “Admit it—for one
second, he honestly considered it.”

He didn’t answer.

“What, Edward?”

“I just wish… well, I wish that he’d been right.”

“Gah,” I gasped.

“More that there was some way he could have been. That we had that kind of
potential. I hate taking that away from you, too.”

It took me a minute. “I know what I’m doing.”

“How could you know that, Bella? Look at my mother, look at my sister. It’s not
as easy a sacrifice as you imagine.”

“Esme and Rosalie get by just fine. If it’s a problem later, we can do what Esme
did—we’ll adopt.”

He sighed, and then his voice was fierce. “It’s not right! I don’t want you to
have to make sacrifices for me. I want to give you things, not take things away
from you. I don’t want to steal your future. If I were human—”

I put my hand over his lips. “You are my future. Now stop. No moping, or I’m
calling your brothers to come and get you. Maybe you need a bachelor party.”

“I’m sorry. I am moping, aren’t I? Must be the nerves.”

“Are your feet cold?”

“Not in that sense. I’ve been waiting a century to marry you, Miss Swan. The
wedding ceremony is the one thing I can’t wait—” He broke off mid-thought. “Oh,
for the love of all that’s holy!”

“What’s wrong?”

He gritted his teeth. “You don’t have to call my brothers. Apparently Emmett and
Jasper are not going to let me bow out tonight.”

I clutched him closer for one second and then released him. I didn’t have a
prayer of winning a tug-of-war with Emmett. “Have fun.”

There was a squeal against the window—someone deliberately scraping their steel
nails across the glass to make a horrible, cover-your-ears, goose-bumps-down-
your-spine noise. I shuddered.

“If you don’t send Edward out,” Emmett—still invisible in the night—hissed
menacingly, “we’re coming in after him!”

“Go,” I laughed. “Before they break my house.”

Edward rolled his eyes, but he got to his feet in one fluid movement and had his
shirt back on in another. He