Torchy, Private Sec. | Page 4

and if we must
spill 'em, grease the skids. Me for Rowley!"
And, say, you should have heard me shove over the diplomacy, tellin'
how sorry Mr. Robert was he couldn't see him in person; but wouldn't
he please state the case in full so no time might be lost in actin' one way
or the other? Inside of three minutes too, he has his papers spread out
and is explainin' his by-product scheme for mill tailings, with me busy
takin' notes on a pad. He had it all figured out into big money; but of
course I couldn't tell whether he had a sure thing, or was just exercisin'
squirrels in the connin' tower.
"Ten millions a year," says he, "and I am offering to put this process in
operation for a five-per-cent. royalty! I've been a mine superintendent
for twenty years, young man, and I know what I'm talking about."
"Your spiel listens like the real thing, Mr. Rowley," says I; "only we
can't jump at these things offhand. We have to chew 'em over, you
know."
Rowley shakes his head decided. "You can't put me off for six months
or a year," says he. "I've been through all that. If the Corrugated doesn't
want to go into this----"
"Right you are!" I breaks in. "Ten days is enough. I'll put this up to the
board next Wednesday week and get a decision. Much obliged to you,
Mr. Rowley, for givin' us first whack at it. We 're out for anything that
looks good, and we always take care of the parties that put us next.
That's the Corrugated way. Good afternoon, Mr. Rowley. Drop in again.
Here's your hat."
And as he drifts out, smilin', pleased and hopeful, I glances over the
spring-water bottle, to see Mr. Robert standin' there listenin' with a grin
on.
"Congratulations!" says he. "That peroration of yours was a classic,

Torchy; the true Chesterfield spirit, if not the form. I am tempted to
utilize your talent for that sort of thing once more. What do you say?"
"Then put it over the plate while I'm on my battin' streak," says I.
"Who's next?"
"A lady this time," says he; "perchance two ladies." And he develops
that eye twinkle of his.
"Huh!" says I, twistin' my neck and feelin' of my tie. "You ain't
springin' any tea-pourin' stunt, are you?"
"Strictly business," says he; "at least," he adds, chucklin', "that is the
presumption. As a matter of fact, I've just been called over the 'phone
by Miss Verona Hemmingway's aunt."
"Eh!" says I, gawpin'.
"She holds some of our debenture bonds, you know," says Mr. Robert,
"and I gather that she has been somewhat disturbed by these
reorganization rumors."
"But she ought to know," says I, "that our D.B.'s. are as solid as----"
"The feminine mind," cuts in Mr. Robert, "does not readily grasp such
simple facts. But I haven't half an hour or more to devote to the process
of soothing her alarm; besides, you could do it so much more
gracefully."
"Mooshwaw!" says I. "Maybe I could. But she's only one. Who's the
other?"
"She failed to state," says Mr. Robert. "She merely said, 'We shall be
down about three o'clock.'"
"We?" says I. Then I whistles. So that was her game! It was Vee she
was bringin' along!
"Well?" says Mr. Robert.

I expect I was some pinked up, and fussed, too, at the prospect.
"Excuse me," says I, "but I got to sidestep."
"Why," says he, "I rather thought this assignment might be somewhat
agreeable."
"I know," says I. "You mean well enough; but, honest, Mr. Robert, if
that foxy old dame's comin' down here with Miss Vee, I'm--well, I don't
stand for it, that's all! I'm off; with a blue ticket or without one, just as
you say."
I was reachin' for my new lid too, when Mr. Robert puts out his hand.
"Wouldn't that be--er--rather a serious breach of office discipline?" says
he. "Surely, without some good reason----"
"Ah, say!" says I. "You don't think I'm springin' any prima donna whim,
do you? It's this plot to show me up through the wrong end of the
telescope that gets me sore."
"Scarcely lucid," says he, lookin' puzzled. "Could you put it a little
simpler?"
"I'll make it long primer," says I. "How do I stand here in the
Corrugated? You know, maybe, and sometimes I give a guess myself;
but on the books, and as far as outsiders go, I'm just plain office boy,
ain't I, like 'steen thousand other four-dollar-a-week kids that's old
enough to have work papers? I've been here goin' on four years now,
and I ain't beefed much about it, have I? That's because I've been used
white and the pay has been decent. Also