Timon of Athens | Page 5

Never may That state or fortune fall into my keeping Which is not owed to you!
[Exeunt LUCILIUS and OLD ATHENIAN.]
POET. [Presenting his poem] Vouchsafe my labour, and long live your lordship!
TIMON. I thank you; you shall hear from me anon: Go not away. What have you there, my friend?
PAINTER. A piece of painting, which I do beseech Your lordship to accept.
TIMON. Painting is welcome. The painting is almost the natural man; For since dishonour traffics with man's nature, He is but outside: these pencill'd figures are Even such as they give out. I like your work; And you shall find I like it: wait attendance Till you hear further from me.
PAINTER. The gods preserve you!
TIMON. Well fare you, gentleman: give me your hand; We must needs dine together. Sir, your jewel Hath suffered under praise.
JEWELLER. What, my lord! dispraise?
TIMON. A mere satiety of commendations; If I should pay you for 't as 'tis extoll'd, It would unclew me quite.
JEWELLER. My lord, 'tis rated As those which sell would give: but you well know, Things of like value, differing in the owners, Are prized by their masters. Believe't, dear lord, You mend the jewel by the wearing it.
TIMON. Well mock'd.
MERCHANT. No, my good lord; he speaks the common tongue, Which all men speak with him.
TIMON. Look who comes here. Will you be chid?
[Enter APEMANTUS.]
JEWELLER. We'll bear, with your lordship.
MERCHANT. He'll spare none.
TIMON. Good morrow to thee, gentle Apemantus!
APEMANTUS. Till I be gentle, stay thou for thy good morrow; When thou art Timon's dog, and these knaves honest.
TIMON. Why dost thou call them knaves? thou know'st them not.
APEMANTUS. Are they not Athenians?
TIMON. Yes.
APEMANTUS. Then I repent not.
JEWELLER. You know me, Apemantus?
APEMANTUS. Thou know'st I do; I call'd thee by thy name.
TIMON. Thou art proud, Apemantus.
APEMANTUS. Of nothing so much as that I am not like Timon.
TIMON. Whither art going?
APEMANTUS. To knock out an honest Athenian's brains.
TIMON. That's a deed thou'lt die for.
APEMANTUS. Right, if doing nothing be death by the law.
TIMON. How likest thou this picture, Apemantus?
APEMANTUS. The best, for the innocence.
TIMON. Wrought he not well that painted it?
APEMANTUS. He wrought better that made the painter; and yet he's but a filthy piece of work.
PAINTER. You're a dog.
APEMANTUS. Thy mother's of my generation: what's she, if I be a dog?
TIMON. Wilt dine with me, Apemantus?
APEMANTUS. No; I eat not lords.
TIMON. An thou shouldst, thou'dst anger ladies.
APEMANTUS. O! they eat lords; so they come by great bellies.
TIMON. That's a lascivious apprehension.
APEMANTUS. So thou apprehendest it, take it for thy labour.
TIMON. How dost thou like this jewel, Apemantus?
APEMANTUS. Not so well as plain dealing, which will not cost a man a doit.
TIMON. What dost thou think 'tis worth?
APEMANTUS. Not worth my thinking. How now, poet!
POET. How now, philosopher!
APEMANTUS. Thou liest.
POET. Art not one?
APEMANTUS. Yes.
POET. Then I lie not.
APEMANTUS. Art not a poet?
POET. Yes.
APEMANTUS. Then thou liest: look in thy last work, where thou hast feigned him a worthy fellow.
POET. That's not feigned; he is so.
APEMANTUS. Yes, he is worthy of thee, and to pay thee for thy labour: he that loves to be flattered is worthy o' the flatterer. Heavens, that I were a lord!
TIMON. What wouldst do then, Apemantus?
APEMANTUS. Even as Apemantus does now; hate a lord with my heart.
TIMON. What, thyself?
APEMANTUS. Ay.
TIMON. Wherefore?
APEMANTUS. That I had no angry wit to be a lord. Art not thou a merchant?
MERCHANT. Ay, Apemantus.
APEMANTUS. Traffic confound thee, if the gods will not!
MERCHANT. If traffic do it, the gods do it.
APEMANTUS. Traffic's thy god, and thy god confound thee!
[Trumpet sounds. Enter a MESSENGER.]
TIMON. What trumpet's that?
MESSENGER. 'Tis Alcibiades, and some twenty horse, All of companionship.
TIMON. Pray entertain them; give them guide to us.
[Exeunt some attendants.]
You must needs dine with me. Go not you hence Till I have thank'd you; when dinner's done, Show me this piece. I am joyful of your sights.
[Enter ALCIBIADES, with the his Company.]
Most welcome, sir!
[They salute.]
APEMANTUS. So, so, there! Aches contract and starve your supple joints! That there should be small love 'mongst these sweet knaves, And all this courtesy! The strain of man's bred out Into baboon and monkey.
ALCIBIADES. Sir, you have sav'd my longing, and I feed Most hungerly on your sight.
TIMON. Right welcome, sir! Ere we depart we'll share a bounteous time In different pleasures. Pray you, let us in.
[Exeunt all but APEMANTUS.]
[Enter two LORDS.]
FIRST LORD. What time o' day is't, Apemantus?
APEMANTUS. Time to be honest.
FIRST LORD. That time serves still.
APEMANTUS. The more accursed thou that still omitt'st it.
SECOND LORD. Thou art going to Lord Timon's feast.
APEMANTUS. Ay; to see meat fill knaves and wine heat fools.
SECOND LORD. Fare thee well, fare thee well.
APEMANTUS. Thou art a fool to bid me farewell twice.
SECOND LORD. Why, Apemantus?
APEMANTUS. Shouldst have kept one to thyself, for I mean to give thee none.
FIRST LORD. Hang thyself!
APEMANTUS. No, I will do nothing at thy bidding: