Theft | Page 2

has not followed her husband in his moral evolution. She is the creature
of old customs, old prejudices, old New England ethics. She is rather
confused by the modern rush of life.
Connie Starkweather. Margaret's younger sister, twenty years old. She
is nothing that Margaret is, and everything that Margaret is not. No
essential evil in her, but has no mind of her own--hopelessly a creature
of convention. Gay, laughing, healthy, buxom--a natural product of her
care-free environment.
Feux Dobleman. Private secretary to Anthony Starkweather. A young
man of correct social deportment, thoroughly and in all things just the
sort of private secretary a man like Anthony Starkweather would have.
He is a weak-souled creature, timorous, almost effeminate.
Linda Davis. Maid to Margaret. A young woman of twenty-five or so,
blond, Scandinavian, though American-born. A cold woman, almost
featureless because of her long years of training, but with a hot heart
deep down, and characterized by an intense devotion to her mistress.
Wild horses could drag nothing from her where her mistress is
concerned.

Junus Rutland. Having no strong features about him, the type realizes
itself.
John Gifford. A labor agitator. A man of the people, rough-hewn,
narrow as a labor-leader may well be, earnest and sincere. He is a
proper, better type of labor-leader.
Matsu Sakari. Secretary of Japanese Embassy. He is the perfection of
politeness and talks classical book-English. He bows a great deal.
Dolores Ortega. Wife of Peruvian Minister; bright and vivacious, and
uses her hands a great deal as she talks, in the Latin-American fashion.
Senator Dowsett. Fifty years of age; well preserved.
Mrs. Dowsett. Stout and middle-aged.

ACT I
A ROOM IN THE HOUSE OF SENATOR CHALMERS
Scene. In Senator Chalmers' home. It is four o'clock in the afternoon, in
a modern living room with appropriate furnishings. In particular, in
front, on left, a table prepared for the serving of tea, all excepting the
tea urn itself. At rear, right of center, is main entrance to the room.
Also, doorways at sides, on left and right. Curtain discloses Chalmers
and Hubbard seated loungingly at the right front.
{Hubbard}
(After an apparent pause for cogitation.) I can't understand why an old
wheel-horse like Elsworth should kick over the traces that way.
{Chalmers}
Disgruntled. Thinks he didn't get his fair share of plums out of the
Tariff Committee. Besides, it's his last term. He's announced that he's

going to retire.
{Hubbard}
(Snorting contemptuously, mimicking an old man's pompous
enunciation.) "A Resolution to Investigate the High Cost of
Living!"--old Senator Elsworth introducing a measure like that! The
old buck!---- How are you going to handle it?
{Chalmers}
It's already handled.
{Hubbard}
Yes?
{Chalmers}
(Pulling his mustache.) Turned it over to the Committee to Audit and
Control the Contingent Expenses of the Senate.
{Hubbard}
(Grinning his appreciation.) And you're chairman. Poor old Elsworth.
This way to the lethal chamber, and the bill's on its way.
{Chalmers}
Elsworth will be retired before it's ever reported. In the meantime, say
after a decent interval, Senator Hodge will introduce another resolution
to investigate the high cost of living. It will be like Elsworth's, only it
won't.
{Hubbard}
(Nodding his head and anticipating.) And it will go to the Committee
on Finance and come back for action inside of twenty-four hours.

{Chalmers}
By the way, I see Cartwright's Magazine has ceased muck-raking.
{Hubbard}
Cartwrights never did muck-rake--that is, not the big Interests--only the
small independent businesses that didn't advertise.
{Chalmers}
Yes, it deftly concealed its reactionary tendencies.
{Hubbard}
And from now on the concealment will be still more deft. I've gone into
it myself. I have a majority of the stock right now.
{Chalmers}
I thought I had noticed a subtle change in the last two numbers.
{Hubbard}
(Nodding.) We're still going on muck-raking. We have a splendid series
on Aged Paupers, demanding better treatment and more sanitary
conditions. Also we are going to run "Barbarous Venezuela" and show
up thoroughly the rotten political management of that benighted
country.
{Chalmers}
(Nods approvingly, and, after a pause.) And now concerning Knox.
That's what I sent for you about. His speech comes off tomorrow per
schedule. At last we've got him where we want him.
{Hubbard}
I have the ins and outs of it pretty well. Everything's arranged. The

boys have their cue, though they don't know just what's going to be
pulled off; and this time to-morrow afternoon their dispatches will be
singing along the wires.
{Chalmers}
(Firmly and harshly.) This man Knox must be covered with ridicule,
swamped with ridicule, annihilated with ridicule.
{Hubbard}
It is to laugh. Trust the great American people for that. We'll make
those little Western editors sit up. They've been swearing by Knox, like
a little tin god. Roars of laughter for them.
{Chalmers}
Do you do anything yourself?
{Hubbard}
Trust