The Youth of Jefferson | Page 9

roof leaked, and presto! when I rose I found my watch swimming in water--your watch-paper all soaked and torn--that is to say, my fingers tore it; and a dozen minuets I had bought for you shared the same fate, not to mention my jemmy-worked garters! My ill luck was complete--me miserum!"
"Was it at college?"
"Oh no," said Sir Asinus; "you know I am temporarily absent from the Alma Mater."
"Indeed!"
"Yes. I have taken up my residence in town--in Gloucester street, where I am always happy to see my friends. Just imagine a man persecuted by the professors of the great University of William and Mary for the reason I was."
"What was it?"
"Because I uttered some heresies. I said the Established Church was a farce, and that women, contrary to the philosophy of antiquity, really had souls. The great Doctor could pardon my fling at the church; but being an old woman himself, could not pardon my even seeming to revive the discussion of the heresy in relation to your sex. What was the consequence? I had to flee--the enemy went about to destroy me; behold me now the denizen of a second floor in old Mother Bobbery's house, Gloucester street, city of Williamsburg."
"Rusticating you call it, I think," says Belle-bouche, smiling languidly, and raising her brow to catch the faint May breeze which moves her curls.
"Yes; rusticating is the very word--derived from rus, a Latin word signifying main street, and tike, a Greek word meaning to live in bachelor freedom. It applies to me exactly, you see. I live in bachelor freedom on Gloucester street, and I only want a wife to make my happiness complete."
Belle-bouche smiles.
"You are then dissatisfied?" she says.
"Yes," sighs Sir Asinus; "yes, in spite of my pipes and books and pictures, and all appliances and means to boot for happiness, I am lonely. Now suppose I had a charming little wife--a paragon of a wife, with blue eyes and golden curls, and a sweet languishing air, to chat with in the long days and gloomy evenings!"
Belle-bouche recognises her portrait, and smiles.
Sir Asinus continues:
"Not only would I be happier, but more at my ease. To tell you the humiliating truth, my dear Miss Belle-bouche, I am in hourly fear of being arrested."
"Would a wife prevent that?"
"Certainly. What base proctor would dare lay hands upon a married man? But this all disappears like a vision--it is a dream: fuit Ilium, ingens gloria Teucrorumque; which means, 'Mrs. Tom is still in a state of single blessedness,' that being the literal translation of the Hebrew."
And Sir Asinus smiles; and seeing Jacques approach, looks at him triumphantly.
Jacques has just been bitten by the lap dog; and this, added to his melancholy and jealousy, causes him to feel desolate.
"Pardon my interrupting your pleasant conversation," he says.
"Oh, no interruption!" says Sir Asinus triumphantly.
"But I thought I'd mention----
"Speak out, speak out!" says Sir Asinus, shaking with laughter, and assuming a generous and noble air.
"I observed through the window a visitor, fairest Belinda."
"Ah! I was so closely engaged," says Sir Asinus, "like a knight of the middle ages, I thought only of my 'ladye faire.' Nothing can move me from her side!"
"Indeed?" says Jacques.
"Nothing!"
"Well, well, at least I have not counselled such desertion on your part. The visitor at the gate there is Doctor Small from college. I only thought I'd mention it!"
Like an electric shock dart the words of Jacques through the frame of the chivalric Sir Asinus. He starts to his feet--gazes around him despairingly, seeking a place of refuge.
The step of worthy Doctor Small is heard upon the portico; Sir Asinus quakes.
"Are you unwell, my dear friend?" asks Jacques with melancholy interest.
"I am--really--come, Jacques!" stammers Sir Asinus.
"Are you indisposed?"
"To meet the Doctor? I rather think I am. Mercy! mercy! dear Campana in die," cries the knight; "hide me! hide me!--up stairs, down stairs--any where!"
The footstep sounded in the passage.
Belle-bouche laughed with that musical contagious merriment which characterized her.
"But what shall we say?" she asks; "I can't tell the Doctor you are not here."
"Then I must go. Can I escape? Oh heavens! there is his shadow on the floor! Jacques, my boy, protect my memory--I must retire!"
And Sir Asinus rushed through the open door leading into the adjoining room, just as Doctor Small entered with his benevolent smile and courteous inclination.
He had been informed in town, he said, that his young friend Thomas, withdrawn now some days from college, was at Shadynook; and taking advantage of his acquaintance with Mrs. Wimple, and he was happy to add with Miss Rebecca, he had come to find and have some friendly conversation with Thomas. Had he been at Shadynook, or was he misinformed?
The reply was easy. Sir Asinus had disappeared through a door leading into the garden some moments before, and Belle-bouche could reply most truthfully--as she