The Works of John Dryden, Volume 6 | Page 7

such a time, I am horribly given to it.
_Saint._ Verily, a little swearing may be then allowable: You may swear you love me, it is a lawful oath; but then, you must not look on harlots.
_Wood._ I must wheedle her, and whet my courage first on her; as a good musician always preludes before a tune. Come, here is my first oath. [_Embracing her._
Enter ALDO.
_Aldo._ How now, Mrs Saintly! what work have we here towards?
_Wood._ [_Aside._] Aldo, my own natural father, as I live! I remember the lines of that hide-bound face: Does he lodge here? If he should know me, I am ruined.
_Saint._ Curse on his coming! he has disturbed us. [_Aside._] Well, young gentleman, I shall take a time to instruct you better.
_Wood._ You shall find me an apt scholar.
_Saint._ I must go abroad upon some business; but remember your promise, to carry yourself soberly, and without scandal in my family; and so I leave you to this gentleman, who is a member of it. [Exit SAINT.
_Aldo._ [_Aside._] Before George, a proper fellow, and a swinger he should be, by his make! the rogue would humble a whore, I warrant him.--You are welcome, sir, amongst us; most heartily welcome, as I may say.
_Wood._ All's well: he knows me not.--Sir, your civility is obliging to a stranger, and may befriend me, in the acquaintance of our fellow-lodgers.
_Aldo._ Hold you there, sir: I must first understand you a little better; and yet, methinks, you should be true to love.
_Wood._ Drinking and wenching are but slips of youth: I had those two good qualities from my father.
_Aldo._ Thou, boy! Aha, boy! a true Trojan, I warrant thee! [_Hugging him._] Well, I say no more; but you are lighted into such a family, such food for concupiscence, such _bona roba's_!
_Wood._ One I know, indeed; a wife: But _bona roba's_, say you?
_Aldo._ I say, _bona roba's_, in the plural number.
_Wood._ Why, what a Turk Mahomet shall I be! No, I will not make myself drunk with the conceit of so much joy: The fortune's too great for mortal man; and I a poor unworthy sinner.
_Aldo._ Would I lie to my friend? Am I a man? Am I a christian? There is that wife you mentioned, a delicate little wheedling devil, with such an appearance of simplicity; and with that, she does so undermine, so fool her conceited husband, that he despises her!
_Wood._ Just ripe for horns: His destiny, like a Turk's, is written in his forehead.[1]
_Aldo._ Peace, peace! thou art yet ordained for greater things. There is another, too, a kept mistress, a brave strapping jade, a two-handed whore!
_Wood._ A kept mistress, too! my bowels yearn to her already: she is certain prize.
_Aldo._ But this lady is so termagant an empress! and he is so submissive, so tame, so led a keeper, and as proud of his slavery as a Frenchman. I am confident he dares not find her false, for fear of a quarrel with her; because he is sure to be at the charges of the war. She knows he cannot live without her, and therefore seeks occasions of falling out, to make him purchase peace. I believe she is now aiming at a settlement.
_Wood._ Might not I ask you one civil question? How pass you your time in this noble family? For I find you are a lover of the game, and I should be loth to hunt in your purlieus.
_Aldo._ I must first tell you something of my condition. I am here a friend to all of them; I am their factotum, do all their business; for, not to boast, sir, I am a man of general acquaintance: There is no news in town, either foreign or domestic, but I have it first; no mortgage of lands, no sale of houses, but I have a finger in them.
_Wood._ Then, I suppose, you are a gainer by your pains.
_Aldo._ No, I do all gratis, and am most commonly a loser; only a buck sometimes from this good lord, or that good lady in the country: and I eat it not alone, I must have company.
_Wood._ Pray, what company do you invite?
_Aldo._ Peace, peace, I am coming to you: Why, you must know I am tender-natured; and if any unhappy difference have arisen betwixt a mistress and her gallant, then I strike in, to do good offices betwixt them; and, at my own proper charges, conclude the quarrel with a reconciling supper.
_Wood._ I find the ladies of pleasure are beholden to you.
_Aldo._ Before George, I love the poor little devils. I am indeed a father to them, and so they call me: I give them my counsel, and assist them with my purse. I cannot see a pretty sinner hurried to prison by the land-pirates, but nature works, and I must