The Works of Henry Fielding, vol 2 | Page 6

is of a different stamp, and must have wit and meaning in it. These latter I call your substantive, as being able to support themselves. The former are your adjective, as what require the buffoonery and gestures of an actor to be joined with them to shew their signification.
Wit. Very learnedly defined, truly.
Luck. Well, but, Mr Bookweight, will you advance fifty guineas on my play?
Book. Fifty guineas! Yes, sir. You shall have them with all my heart, if you will give me security for them. Fifty guineas for a play! Sir, I would not give fifty shillings.
Luck. 'Sdeath, sir! do you beat me down at this rate?
Book. No, nor fifty farthings. Fifty guineas! Indeed your name is well worth that.
Luck. Jack, take this worthy gentleman and kick him down stairs.
Book. Sir, I shall make you repent this.
Jack. Come, sir, will you please to brush?
Book. Help! murder! I'll have the law of you, sir.
Luck. Ha, ha, ha!

SCENE VIII.--LUCKLESS, WITMORE, MRS MONEYWOOD.
Money. What noise is this? It is a very fine thing, truly, Mr Luckless, that you will make these uproars in my house.
Luck. If you dislike it, it is in your power to drown a much greater. Do you but speak, madam, and I am sure no one will be heard but yourself.
Money. Very well, indeed! fine reflexions on my character! Sir, sir, all the neighbours know that I have been as quiet a woman as ever lived in the parish. I had no noises in my house till you came. We were the family of love. But you have been a nusance to the whole neighbourhood. While you had money, my doors were thundered at every morning at four and five, by coachmen and chairmen; and since you have had none, my house has been besieged all day by creditors and bailiffs. Then there's the rascal your man; but I will pay the dog, I will scour him. Sir, I am glad you are a witness of his abuses of me.
Wit. I am indeed, madam, a witness how unjustly he has abused you. [JACK whispers LUCKLESS.
Luck. Witmore, excuse me a moment.

SCENE IX.--Mrs MONEYWOOD, WITMORE.
Money. Yes, sir; and, sir, a man that has never shewn one the colour of his money.
Wit. Very hard, truly. How much may he be in your debt, pray? Because he has ordered me to pay you.
Money. Ay! sir, I wish he had.
Wit. I am serious, I assure you.
Money. I am very glad to hear it, sir. Here is the bill as we settled it this very morning. I always thought, indeed, Mr Luckless had a great deal of honesty in his principles: any man may be unfortunate; but I knew when he had money I should have it; and what signifies dunning a man when he hath it not? Now that is a way with some people which I could never come in to.
Wit. There, madam, is your money. You may give Mr Luckless the receipt.
Money. Sir, I give you both a great many thanks. I am sure it is almost as charitable as if you gave it me; for I am to make up a sum to-morrow morning. Well, if Mr Luckless was but a little soberer I should like him for a lodger exceedingly: for I must say, I think him a very pleasant good-humoured man.

SCENE X.--LUCKLESS, WITMORE, MONEYWOOD.
Luck. Those are words I never heard out of that mouth before.
Money. Ha, ha, ha! you are pleased to be merry: ha, ha!
Luck. Why, Witmore, thou hast the faculty opposite to that of a witch, and canst lay a tempest. I should as soon have imagined one man could have stopt a cannon-ball in its full force as her tongue.
Money. Ha, ha, ha! he is the best company in the world, sir, and so full of his similitudes!
Wit. Luckless, good morrow; I shall see you soon again.
Luck. Let it be soon, I beseech you; for thou hast brought a calm into this house that was scarce ever in it before.

SCENE XI.--LUCKLESS, MRS MONEYWOOD, JACK.
Money. Well, Mr Luckless, you are a comical man, to give one such a character to a stranger.
Luck. The company is gone, madam; and now, like true man and wife, we may fall to abusing one another as fast as we please.
Money. Abuse me as you please, so you pay me, sir.
Luck. 'Sdeath! madam, I will pay you.
Money. Nay, sir, I do not ask it before it is due. I don't question your payment at all: if you was to stay in my house this quarter of a year, as I hope you will, I should not ask you for a farthing.
Luck. Toll, loll, loll.--But I shall have her begin with her passion immediately; and I had rather be the object of her rage for a year than of her love for half