The Wolves and the Lamb | Page 7

bottle of the brown hock? He likes the
brown hock, Touchit does. [Exit JOHN.]
Enter Children. They run to MILLIKEN.
BOTH.--How d'you do, Papa! How do you do, Papa!
MILLIKEN.--Kiss your old father, Arabella. Come here, George--
What?
GEORGE.--Don't care for kissing--kissing's for gals. Have you brought
me that bat from London?
MILLIKEN.--Yes. Here's the bat; and here's the ball [takes one from
pocket]--and--
GEORGE.--Where's the wickets, Papa. O-o-o--where's the wickets?
[howls.]
MILLIKEN.--My dear, darling boy! I left them at the office. What a
silly papa I was to forget them! Parkins forgot them.
GEORGE.--Then turn him away, I say! Turn him away! [He stamps.]
MILLIKEN.--What! an old, faithful clerk and servant of your father

and grandfather for thirty years past? An old man, who loves us all, and
has nothing but our pay to live on?
ARABELLA.--Oh, you naughty boy!
GEORGE.--I ain't a naughty boy.
ARABELLA.--You are a naughty boy.
GEORGE.--He! he! he! he! [Grins at her.]
MILLIKEN.--Hush, children! Here, Arabella darling, here is a book for
you. Look--aren't they pretty pictures?
ARABELLA.--Is it a story, Papa? I don't care for stories in general. I
like something instructive and serious. Grandmamma Bonnington and
grandpapa say--
GEORGE.--He's NOT your grandpapa.
ARABELLA.--He IS my grandpapa.
GEORGE.--Oh, you great story! Look! look! there's a cab. [Runs out.
The head of a Hansom cab is seen over the garden-gate. Bell rings.
Page comes. Altercation between Cabman and Captain TOUCHIT
appears to go on, during which]
MILLIKEN.--Come and kiss your old father, Arabella. He's hungry for
kisses.
ARABELLA.--Don't. I want to go and look at the cab; and to tell
Captain Touchit that he mustn't use naughty words. [Runs towards
garden. Page is seen carrying a carpet-bag.]
Enter TOUCHIT through the open window smoking a cigar.
TOUCHIT.--How d'ye do, Milliken? How are tallows, hey, my noble
merchant? I have brought my bag, and intend to sleep--
GEORGE.--I say, godpapa--
TOUCHIT.--Well, godson!
GEORGE.--Give us a cigar!
TOUCHIT.--Oh, you enfant terrible!
MILLIKEN [wheezily].--Ah--ahem--George Touchit! you wouldn't
mind-- a--smoking that cigar in the garden, would you? Ah--ah!
TOUCHIT.--Hullo! What's in the wind now? You used to be a most
inveterate smoker, Horace.
MILLIKEN.--The fact is--my mother-in-law--Lady
Kicklebury--doesn't like it, and while she's with us, you know--
TOUCHIT.--Of course, of course [throws away cigar]. I beg her
ladyship's pardon. I remember when you were courting her daughter

she used not to mind it.
MILLIKEN.--Don't--don't allude to those times. [He looks up at his
wife's picture.]
GEORGE.--My mamma was a Kicklebury. The Kickleburys are the
oldest family in all the world. My name is George Kicklebury Milliken,
of Pigeoncot, Hants; the Grove, Richmond, Surrey; and Portland Place,
London, Esquire--my name is.
TOUCHIT.--You have forgotten Billiter Street, hemp and tallow
merchant.
GEORGE.--Oh, bother! I don't care about that. I shall leave that when
I'm a man: when I'm a man and come into my property.
MILLIKEN.--You come into your property?
GEORGE.--I shall, you know, when you're dead, Papa. I shall have this
house, and Pigeoncot; and the house in town--no, I don't mind about the
house in town--and I shan't let Bella live with me--no, I won't.
BELLA.--No; I won't live with YOU. And I'LL have Pigeoncot.
GEORGE.--You shan't have Pigeoncot. I'll have it: and the ponies: and
I won't let you ride them--and the dogs, and you shan't have even a
puppy to play with and the dairy and won't I have as much cream as I
like--that's all!
TOUCHIT.--What a darling boy! Your children are brought up
beautifully, Milliken. It's quite delightful to see them together.
GEORGE.--And I shall sink the name of Milliken, I shall.
MILLIKEN.--Sink the name? why, George?
GEORGE.--Because the Millikens are nobodies--grandmamma says
they are nobodies. The Kickleburys are gentlemen, and came over with
William the Conqueror.
BELLA.--I know when that was. One thousand one hundred and one
thousand one hundred and onety-one!
GEORGE.--Bother when they came over! But I know this, when I
come into the property I shall sink the name of Milliken.
MILLIKEN.--So you are ashamed of your father's name, are you,
George, my boy?
GEORGE.--Ashamed! No, I ain't ashamed. Only Kicklebury is sweller.
I know it is. Grandmamma says so.
BELLA.--MY grandmamma does not say so. MY dear grandmamma
says that family pride is sinful, and all belongs to this wicked world;

and that in a very few years what our names are will not matter.
GEORGE.--Yes, she says so because her father kept a shop; and so did
Pa's father keep a sort of shop--only Pa's a gentleman now.
TOUCHIT.--Darling child! How I wish I were married! If I had such a
dear boy as you, George, do you know what I would give him?
GEORGE [quite pleased].--What would you give him, god-papa?
TOUCHIT.--I would give him as sound a flogging as ever boy had, my
darling. I would whip this nonsense