The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VI

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The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VI.?by Various

The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VI.
(of X.), by Various This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
Title: The Wit and Humor of America, Volume VI. (of X.)
Author: Various
Editor: Marshall P. Wilder
Release Date: September 18, 2006 [EBook #19324]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
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Library Edition
THE WIT AND HUMOR OF AMERICA
In Ten Volumes
VOL. VI

[Illustration: FINLEY PETER DUNNE (MR. DOOLEY)]

THE WIT AND HUMOR OF AMERICA
EDITED BY MARSHALL P. WILDER
Volume VI
Funk & Wagnalls Company New York and London
Copyright MDCCCCVII, BOBBS-MERRILL COMPANY Copyright MDCCCCXI, THE THWING COMPANY

CONTENTS
PAGE Abou Ben Butler John Paul 1167 Advertiser, The Eugene Field 1101 After the Funeral James M. Bailey 1146 Apostasy of William Dodge, The Stanley Waterloo 1084 Ballad of Grizzly Gulch, The Wallace Irwin 1073 Banty Tim John Hay 1173 Bear Story, The James Whitcomb Riley 1047 Book-Canvasser, The Anonymous 1113 Bully Boat and a Brag Captain, A Sol Smith 1208 Bumblebeaver, The Kenyon Cox 1145 Casey at the Bat Ernest Lawrence Thayer 1148 Chad's Story of the Goose F. Hopkinson Smith 993 Colonel Carter's Story of the Postmaster F. Hopkinson Smith 1052 Comic Miseries John G. Saxe 1121 Coquette, The John G. Saxe 1127 De Gradual Commence Wallace Bruce Amsbary 1164 Evening Oliver Wendell Holmes 1175 Fairport Art Museum, The Octave Thanet 1062 Famous Mulligan Ball, The Frank L. Stanton 1103 Genial Idiot Discusses the Music Cure, The John Kendrick Bangs 1105 Grains of Truth Bill Nye 985 Her Valentine Richard Hovey 1117 It Pays to be Happy Tom Masson 1170 James and Reginald Eugene Field 1171 Jones Lloyd Osbourne 1007 Latter-Day Warnings Oliver Wendell Holmes 1168 Lost Chords Eugene Field 1080 Love Sonnets of an Office Boy S.E. Kiser 1056 Martyrdom of Mr. Stevens, The Herbert Quick 1151 Merchant and the Book-Agent, The Anonymous 1124 Modern Farmer, The Jack Appleton 1083 Mosquito, The William Cullen Bryant 1199 Mr. Dooley on the Game of Football Finley Peter Dunne 1059 My First Cigar Robert J. Burdette 1204 My Philosofy James Whitcomb Riley 1076 Octopussycat, The Kenyon Cox 1112 Old Settler, The Ed. Mott 1177 Owl-Critic, The James T. Fields 1196 Paintermine, The Kenyon Cox 1100 Shonny Schwartz Charles Follen Adams 1206 Society Upon the Stanislaus, The Bret Harte 1078 So Wags the World Anne Warner 1092 Spring Feeling, A Bliss Carman 1129 Talking Horse, The John T. McIntyre 1185 Thompson Street Poker Club, The Henry Guy Carleton 1140 Thoughts fer the Discuraged Farmer James Whitcomb Riley 1081 "Tiddle-iddle-iddle-iddle-bum! bum!" Wilbur D. Nesbit 1202 Unconscious Humor J.K. Wetherell 998 Up and Down Old Brandywine James Whitcomb Riley 1003 Verre Definite Wallace Bruce Amsbary 1183 Wasted Opportunities Roy Farrell Greene 1132 Weddin', The Jennie Betts Hartswick 1134 Welsh Rabbittern, The Kenyon Cox 1120 When the Allegash Drive Goes Through Holman F. Day 1214 Wild Boarder, The Kenyon Cox 1163
COMPLETE INDEX AT THE END OF VOLUME X.

GRAINS OF TRUTH
BY BILL NYE
A young friend has written to me as follows: "Could you tell me something of the location of the porcelain works in Sèvres, France, and what the process is of making those beautiful things which come from there? How is the name of the town pronounced? Can you tell me anything of the history of Mme. Pompadour? Who was the Dauphin? Did you learn anything of Louis XV whilst in France? What are your literary habits?"
It is with a great, bounding joy that I impart the desired information. Sèvres is a small village just outside of St. Cloud (pronounced San Cloo). It is given up to the manufacture of porcelain. You go to St. Cloud by rail or river, and then drive over to Sèvres by diligence or voiture. Some go one way and some go the other. I rode up on the Seine, aboard of a little, noiseless, low-pressure steamer about the size of a sewing machine. It was called the Silvoo Play, I think.
The fare was thirty centimes--or, say, three cents. After paying my fare and finding that I still had money left, I lunched at St. Cloud in the open air at a trifling expense. I then took a bottle of milk from my pocket and quenched my thirst. Traveling through France one finds that the water is especially bad, tasting of the Dauphin at times, and dangerous in the extreme. I advise those, therefore, who wish to be well whilst doing the Continent, to carry, especially in France, as I did, a large, thick-set