The Wit and Humor of America, Volume III

The Wit and Humor of America,
Volume III

The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Wit and Humor of America,
Volume III.
(of X.), by Various This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no
cost and with almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give
it away or re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License
included with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org
Title: The Wit and Humor of America, Volume III. (of X.)
Author: Various
Editor: Marshall P. Wilder
Release Date: July 1, 2006 [EBook #18734]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ISO-8859-1
*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK WIT AND
HUMOR III. ***

Produced by Suzanne Lybarger and the Online Distributed
Proofreading Team at http://www.pgdp.net

Library Edition
THE WIT AND HUMOR OF AMERICA
In Ten Volumes
VOL. III

[Illustration: SAMUEL L. CLEMENS (MARK TWAIN)]

THE WIT AND HUMOR OF AMERICA
EDITED BY MARSHALL P. WILDER
Volume III
Funk & Wagnalls Company New York and London
Copyright MDCCCCVII, BOBBS-MERRILL COMPANY Copyright
MDCCCCXI, THE THWING COMPANY

CONTENTS
PAGE
Arkansas Planter, An Opie Read 556 Auto Rubaiyat, The Reginald
Wright Kauffman 546 Ballade of the "How To" Books, A John James
Davies 416 Bohemians of Boston, The Gelett Burgess 519 Courtin',
The James Russell Lowell 524 Crimson Cord, The Ellis Parker Butler
470 Diamond Wedding, The Edmund Clarence Stedman 549 Dislikes
Oliver Wendell Holmes 536 Dos't o' Blues, A James Whitcomb Riley
486 Dying Gag, The James L. Ford 569 Elizabeth Eliza Writes a Paper
Lucretia P. Hale 454 Garden Ethics Charles Dudley Warner 425 Genial
Idiot Suggests a Comic Opera, The John Kendrick Bangs 504 Hans

Breitmann's Party Charles Godfrey Leland 446 Hired Hand and
"Ha'nts," The E.O. Laughlin 419 In Elizabeth's Day Wallace Rice 572
In Philistia Bliss Carman 567 Letter from Home, A Wallace Irwin 522
Little Mock-Man, The James Whitcomb Riley 540 Little Orphant
Annie James Whitcomb Riley 444 Mammy's Lullaby Strickland W.
Gillilan 542 Maxioms Carolyn Wells 424 Morris and the Honorable
Tim Myra Kelly 488 Mr. Stiver's Horse James Montgomery Bailey 464
My First Visit to Portland Major Jack Downing 409 My Sweetheart
Samuel Minturn Peck 544 New Version, The W.J. Lampton 574 Our
New Neighbors at Ponkapog Thomas Bailey Aldrich 403 Plaint of
Jonah, The Robert J. Burdette 485 Retort, The George P. Morris 584
Rhyme of the Chivalrous Shark, The Wallace Irwin 483 Rollo Learning
to Read Robert J. Burdette 448 Selecting the Faculty Bayard Rust Hall
437 Southern Sketches Bill Arp 575 Tower of London, The Artemus
Ward 528 Traveled Donkey, A Bert Leston Taylor 428 Tree-Toad, The
James Whitcomb Riley 418 Two Automobilists, The Carolyn Wells
573 Two Business Men, The Carolyn Wells 583 Two Housewives, The
Carolyn Wells 566 Two Ladies, The Carolyn Wells 548 Two Young
Men, The Carolyn Wells 565 Uncle Simon and Uncle Jim Artemus
Ward 539 Wamsley's Automatic Pastor Frank Crane 511 Wild Animals
I Have Met Carolyn Wells 414
COMPLETE INDEX AT THE END OF VOLUME X.

OUR NEW NEIGHBORS AT PONKAPOG
BY THOMAS BAILEY ALDRICH
When I saw the little house building, an eighth of a mile beyond my
own, on the Old Bay Road, I wondered who were to be the tenants. The
modest structure was set well back from the road, among the trees, as if
the inmates were to care nothing whatever for a view of the stylish
equipages which sweep by during the summer season. For my part, I
like to see the passing, in town or country; but each has his own
unaccountable taste. The proprietor, who seemed to be also the
architect of the new house, superintended the various details of the

work with an assiduity that gave me a high opinion of his intelligence
and executive ability, and I congratulated myself on the prospect of
having some very agreeable neighbors.
It was quite early in the spring, if I remember, when they moved into
the cottage--a newly married couple, evidently: the wife very young,
pretty, and with the air of a lady; the husband somewhat older, but still
in the first flush of manhood. It was understood in the village that they
came from Baltimore; but no one knew them personally, and they
brought no letters of introduction. (For obvious reasons, I refrain from
mentioning names.) It was clear that, for the present at least, their own
company was entirely sufficient for them. They made no advance
toward the acquaintance of any of the families in the neighborhood, and
consequently were left to themselves. That, apparently, was what they
desired, and why they came to Ponkapog. For after its black bass and
wild duck and teal, solitude is the chief staple of Ponkapog. Perhaps its
perfect rural loveliness should be included. Lying high up under the
wing of