The Whores and Bawds Answer to the Fifteen Comforts of Whoring

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Title: The Fifteen Comforts of Matrimony: Responses From Women
Author: Various
Release Date: November 8, 2004 [EBook #13972]
Language: English
Character set encoding: ASCII
? START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK FIFTEEN COMFORTS OF MATRIMONY ***
Produced by David Starner, Fred Robinson and the Online Distributed Proofreading Team.
[Transcriber's Note: The following was proofread from what appear to be scans of photocopies of a reproduction of the original text. On top of the original's battered type-face and archaic spellings, this preparer, and the proofreaders before him, have had to contend with dirty or faded images and missing margins. We have made our best guesses as to the missing letters, but in some cases we were stymied; those few places are marked with [*?]. In addition, the most obvious printer's mistakes (transposed, missing, obviously incorrect, and even upside-down letters) have been corrected.]

THE
Whores and Bawd's
ANSWER
TO THE
Fifteen Comforts
OF
WHORING
[Illustration]
Printed in the Year, 1706.
The PREFACE.
_Indeed we the Ladies of Pleasures, and those that stile themselves Procurers in Love Affairs, highly resent the late Paper put out against our Profession and bespattering of us for using only our own; but since it is the Way of the World for most Men to be inclinable to love Lac'd Mutton, I think it is their Duty to resent the Affront with us so much, as to Satyrize the Author of the_ Fifteen Comforts of Whoring, _who without is some young bashful Effeminate Fool or another, that knows not how to say_ Boh to a Goose; _or some old suffocated old Wretch so far pass'd his Labour, that he scolds for Madness that he cannot give a buxom young Lass her Benevolence; or else he may an hundred to one be one of Captain_ Risby's _Fraternity, and so must needs be a Woman Hater by Course. But let him be what he will, so long as our Impudence is Case-harden'd we value not his Reflections, and therefore will not leave our Vocation tho' Claps and Poxes shou'd be our Portion every Day for according to an eminent Whore now Deceas'd,_
Clap, clap ye Whores, Clap as Clap can,
Some Clap to Women, we'll Clap the Men.
THE
Whores and Bawds, Answer, &c.
_The first Comfort of Whoring, Answer'd._
No sooner does a Maid arrive to Years,?And she the Pleasures of Conjunction hears,?But strait her Maidenhead a Tip-toe runs,?To get her like, in Daughters or in Sons;?Upon some jolly Lad she casts her Eye,?And with some am'rous Gestures by the by;?She gives him great Encouragement to take?His fill of Love, and swears that for his sake?She soon shall Die; which makes the Youth so hot?To get about the Maiden's Honey-pot,?That promising her Marriage and the like,?They both a Bargain very quickly Strike;?[*?] Rubbers often take till she does prove?With Child, then she bids adieu to Love;?And e're she's brought to Bed away does Creep,?For fear he should the Wenche's Urchin keep.
_The Second Comfort of Whoring, Answer'd._
Now when a Maid has crackt her Maidenhead,?By being once or twice (Sir) brought to Bed,?Her Credit then's so broke that all her Wit,?And Policy cannot a Husband get;?But yet not being out of Heart she Cries,?From Marriage keeping I shall be more wise,?For if he's not a Fool he soon will find,?I had before I'd him to some been kind,?Then how he'd call me arrant Bitch and Whore,?And Swear some Stallion had been there before;?Then leave me, Wherefore I will single Live,?And my Invention to decoying give,?For as I was by fickle Man betray'd,?So Men by me too shall be Bubbles made,?Till the dull Sots clandestine Means do take,?In robbing Masters,for a Strumpets sake,?For which if they shou'd at the Gallows Swing,?Their End I'd in some merry Ditty Sing.
_ The Third Comfort of whoring answer'd._
What tho' of Whoring it is the mishap,?Sometimes for him that Ruts to get a Clap,?Or an Invetrate Pox which may expose?His private Sports by Eating off his Nose;?How many by hard Drinking will Roar out?With Aches, Rheumatism's or the Gout,?When in that