The Water Goats and Other Troubles | Page 9

Dennis Toole."
"Put thim in th' wather!" exclaimed Alderman Toole angrily. "Why
don't ye put thim in th' wather, Fagan? Why did ye not think t' put thim
in th' wather?" He looked down at his soaking clothes, and his anger
increased. "Why have ye been tryin' t' make thim dongolas swim on
land, Fagan?" he asked sarcastically. "Or have ye been throwin' thim up
in th' air t' see thim swim? Why don't ye put thim in th' wather? Why
don't ye follow th' instructions of th' expert dongola water goat man an'
put thim in th' wather if ye want thim t' swim?"
Fagan looked at the angry alderman. He looked at the dripping goats.
"So I did, Mike," he said seriously. "We both of us did."
"An' did we!" cried Alderman Toole in mock surprise. "Is it possible
we thought t' put thim in th' wather whin we wanted thim t' swim? It

was in me mind that we tied thim to a tree an' played
ring-around-a-rosy with thim t' induce thim t' swim! Where's a pencil?
Where's a piece of paper?" he cried.
He jerked them from the hand of the messenger boy. The afternoon was
half worn away. Every minute was precious. He wrote hastily and
handed the message to the messenger boy.
"Fagan," he said, as the boy disappeared down the path at a run, "raise
up yer spirits an come an' give th' water goats some more instructions
in th' ginteel art of swimmin' in th' wather."
Fagan sighed and arose. He walked toward the dejected water goats,
and, taking the nearest one by the horns yanked it toward the lake. The
goat was too weak to do more than hold back feebly and bleat its
disapproval of another bath. The more lessons in swimming it received
the less it seemed to like to swim. It had developed a positive hatred of
swimming.
Dennis Toole received the second telegram with a savage grin. He had
expected it. He opened it with malicious slowness.
"Dennis Toole, Franklin Zoo," he read. "Where do you think I put them
to make them swim? They won't swim in the lake. It won't do no good
to us for them to swim on dry land. No fooling, now, how do you make
them dongolas swim? Answer quick.
Michael Toole."
He did not have to study out his reply, for he had been considering it
ever since he had sent the other telegram. He took a blank from the boy
and wrote the answer. The sun was setting when the Jeffersonville
messenger delivered it to Alderman Toole.
"Mike Toole, Jeffersonville," it said. "Quit fooling, yourself. Don't you
know young dongolas are always water-shy at first? Tie them in the
lake and let them soak, and they will learn to swim fast enough. If I
didn't know any more about dongolas than you do I would keep clear of

them. Dennis Toole."
"Listen to that now," said Alderman Toole, a smile spreading over his
face. "An' who ever said I knew annything about water goats, anny how?
Th' natural history of th' water goat is not wan of the things usually
considered part of th' iducation of th' alderman from th' Fourth Ward,
Fagan, but 'tis surprised I am that ye did not know th' goat is like th'
soup bean, an' has t' be soaked before usin'. Th' Keeper of th' Water
Goat should know th' habits of th' animal, Fagan. Why did ye not put
thim in to soak in th' first place? I am surprised at ye!"
"It escaped me mind," said Fagan. "I was thinkin' these was broke t'
swimmin' an' did not need t' be soaked. I wonder how long they should
be soaked, Mike?"
"'Twill do no harrm t' soak thim over night, anny how," said Toole.
"Over night is th' usual soak given t' th' soup-bean an' th' salt mackerel,
t' say nawthin' of th' codfish an' others of th' water-goat family. Let th'
water goats soak over night, Fagan, an by mornin' they will be ready t'
swim like a trout. We will anchor thim in th' lake, Fagan--an' we will
say nawthin' t' Dugan. 'Twould be a blow t' Dugan was he t' learn th'
dongolas provided fer th' park was young an' wather-shy."
They anchored the water goats firmly in the lake, and left them there to
overcome their shyness, which seemed, as Fagan and Toole left them,
to be as great as ever. The goats gazed sadly, and bleated longingly,
after the two men as they disappeared in the dusk, and when the men
had passed entirely out of sight, the goats looked at each other and
complained bitterly.
Alderman Toole thoughtfully changed his wet clothes for dry ones
before he