The Water Goats and Other Troubles | Page 6

what we called thim in th' ould counry--donnegoras from Donnegal. I
remimber th' two of thim I had whin I was a kid, Dugan--wan was a
Nanny, an' wan was a Billy, an'--"
"Go on home, Mike," said Dugan. "Go on home an' sleep it off!" and
the little alderman from the Fourth Ward picked up his hat and coat,
and obeyed his orders.
Instituting a new public park and seeing that in every purchase and
every contract there is a rake-off for the ring is a big job, and between
this and the fight against the rapidly increasing strength of the reform
party, Mayor Dugan had his hands more than full. He had no time to
think of dongolas, and he did not want to think of them--Toole was the
committee on dongolas, and it was his duty to think of them, and to
worry about them, if any worry was necessary. But Toole did not worry.
He sat down and wrote a letter to his cousin Dennis, official keeper of
the zoo in Idlewild Park at Franklin, Iowa.
"Dear Dennis," he wrote. "Have you any dongola goats in your
menagery for I want two right away good strong ones answer right
away your affectionate cousin alderman Michael Toole."
"Ps monny no object."
When Dennis Toole received this letter he walked through his zoo and
considered his animals thoughtfully. The shop-worn brown bear would
not do to fill cousin Mike's order; neither would the weather-worn red
deer nor the family of variegated tame rabbits. The zoo of Idlewild Park
at Franklin was woefully short of dongola goats--in fact, to any but the
most imaginative and easily pleased child, it was lacking in nearly
every thing that makes a zoo a congress of the world's most rare and
thrilling creatures. After all, the nearest thing to a goat was a goat, and
goats were plenty in Franklin. Dennis felt an irresistible longing to aid
Mike--the longing that comes to any healthy man when a request is
accompanied by the legend "Money no object." He wrote that evening

to Mike.
"Dear Mike," he wrote. "I've got two good strong dongola goats I can
let you have cheap. I'm overstocked with dongolas to-day. I want to get
rid of two. Zoo is getting too crowded with all kinds of animals and I
don't need so many dongola goats. I will sell you two for fifty dollars.
Apiece. What do you want them for? Your affectionate cousin, Dennis
Toole, Zoo keeper. PS. Crates extra."
"Casey," said Mike to his friend the saloon keeper when he received
this communication, "'tis just as I told ye--dongolas is goats. I have
been corrispondin' with wan of th' celibrated animal men regardin' th'
dongola water goat, an' I have me eye on two of thim this very minute.
But 'twill be ixpinsive, Casey, mighty ixpinsive. Th' dongola water goat
is a rare birrd, Casey. They have become extinct in th' lakes of Ireland,
an' what few of thim is left in th' worrld is held at outrajeous prices. In
th' letter I have from th' animal man, Casey, he wants two hundred
dollars apiece for each dongola water goat, an' 'twill be no easy thing
for him t' git thim."
"Hasn't he thim in his shop, Mike?" asked Casey.
"He has not, Casey," said the little alderman. "He has no place for thim.
Cages he has, an' globes for goldfish, an' birrd cages, but th' size of th'
shop l'aves no room for an aquarium, Casey. He has no tank for the
preservation of water goats. Hippopotamuses an' alligators an'
crocodiles an' dongola water goats an' sea lions he does not keep in
stock, Casey, but sinds out an' catches thim whin ordered. He writes
that his agints has their eyes on two fine dongolas, an' he has
tiligraphed thim t' catch thim."
"Are they near by, Mike?" asked Casey, much interested.
"Naw," said Toole. "'Twill be some time till I git thim. Th' last he heard
of thim they were swimmin' in th' Lake of Geneva."
"Is it far, th' lake?" asked Casey.

"I disremimber how far," said Toole. "'Tis in Africa or Asia, or mebby
'tis in Constantinople. Wan of thim countries it is, annyhow."
But to his cousin Dennis he wrote:
"Dear Dennis--I will take them two dongolas. Crate them good and
solid. Do not send them till I tell you. Send the bill to me. Your
affectionate cousin alderman Michael Toole. Ps Make bill for two
hundred dollars a piece. Business is business. This is between us two.
M. T."
A Keeper of the Water Goats had been selected with the utmost care,
combining in the choice practical politics with a sense of fitness.
Timothy Fagan was used to animals--for years he had driven a