The Water Goats and Other Troubles | Page 3

no additional
cost, fee or expense, a copy of the etext in its original plain ASCII form
(or in EBCDIC or other equivalent proprietary form).

[2] Honor the etext refund and replacement provisions of this "Small
Print!" statement.
[3] Pay a trademark license fee to the Project of 20% of the net profits
you derive calculated using the method you already use to calculate
your applicable taxes. If you don't derive profits, no royalty is due.
Royalties are payable to "Project Gutenberg
Association/Carnegie-Mellon University" within the 60 days following
each date you prepare (or were legally required to prepare) your annual
(or equivalent periodic) tax return.
WHAT IF YOU *WANT* TO SEND MONEY EVEN IF YOU
DON'T HAVE TO?
The Project gratefully accepts contributions in money, time, scanning
machines, OCR software, public domain etexts, royalty free copyright
licenses, and every other sort of contribution you can think of. Money
should be paid to "Project Gutenberg Association / Carnegie-Mellon
University".
*END*THE SMALL PRINT! FOR PUBLIC DOMAIN
ETEXTS*Ver.04.29.93*END*

THE WATER GOATS AND OTHER TROUBLES BY ELLIS
PARKER BUTLER
BY THE SAME AUTHOR
Pigs is Pigs
The Great American Pie Company
Mike Flannery On Duty and off
The Thin Santa Claus
That Pup, Kilo, etc.

THE WATER GOATS AND OTHER TROUBLES
BY ELLIS PARKER BUTLER
CONTENTS
I. THE WATER GOATS II. MR. BILLINGS'S POCKETS III. OUR
FIRST BURGLAR

I THE WATER GOATS
"And then," said the landscape gardener, combing his silky, pointed
beard gently with his long, artistic fingers, "in the lake you might have
a couple of gondolas. Two would be sufficient for a lake of this size;
amply sufficient. Yes," he said firmly, "I would certainly advise
gondolas. They look well, and the children like to ride on them. And so
do the adults. I would have two gondolas in the lake."
Mayor Dugan and the City Council, meeting as a committee of the
whole to receive the report of the landscape gardener and his plan for
the new public park, nodded their heads sagely.
"Sure!" said Mayor Dugan. "We want two of thim--of thim gon-- thim
gon--"
"Gondolas," said the landscape gardener. "Sure!" said Mayor Dugan,
"we want two of thim. Remimber th' gondolas, Toole."
"I have thim fast in me mind," said Toole. "I will not let thim git away,
Dugan."
The landscape gardener stood a minute in deep thought, looking at the
ceiling.
"Yes, that is all!" he said. "My report, and the plan, and what I have
mentioned, will be all you need."

Then he shook hands with the mayor and with all the city councilmen
and left Jeffersonville forever, going back to New York where
landscape gardeners grow, and the doors were opened and the
committee of the whole became once more the regular meeting of the
City Council.
The appropriation for the new park was rushed through in twenty
minutes, passing the second and third readings by the reading of the
title under a suspension of the by-laws, and being unanimously adopted.
It was a matter of life and death with Mayor Dugan and his ring.
Jeffersonville was getting tired of the joyful grafters, and murmurs of
discontent were concentrating into threats of a reform party to turn the
cheerful rascals out. The new park was to be a sop thrown to the
populace--something to make the city proud of itself and grateful to its
mayor and council. It was more than a pet scheme of Mayor Dugan, it
was a lifeboat for the ring. In half an hour the committees had been
appointed, and the mayor turned to the regular business. Then from his
seat at the left of the last row little Alderman Toole arose.
"Misther Mayor," he said, "how about thim--thim don--thim don--
"Golas!" whispered Alderman Grevemeyer hoarsely, "dongolas."
"How about thim dongolas, Misther Mayor?" asked Alderman Toole.
"Sure!" said the mayor. "Will annyone move that we git two dongolas t'
put in th' lake for th' kids t' ride on? Will annyone move that Alderman
Toole be a conmittee of wan t' git two dongolas t' put in th' lake?"
"I make dot motions," said Alderman Greveneyer, half raising his great
bulk from his seat and sinking back with a grunt.
"Sicond th' motion," said Alderman Toole.
"Moved and siconded," said the mayor, "that Alderman Toole be a
committee t' buy two dongolas t' put in th' lake for th' kids t' ride on. Ye
have heard th' motion."
The motion was unanimously carried. That was the kind of City

Council Mayor Dugan had chosen.
When little Alderman Toole dropped into Casey's saloon that night on
his way home he did not slip meekly to the far end of the bar, as he
usually did. For the first time in his aldermanic career he had been put
on a committee where he would