The Vital Spark | Page 2

and sand, and whunstone, and oak bark, and timber, and trash
like that."
"I understood she had one weakness at least, that her boiler was apt to
prime."
"It's a--lie," cried Macfarlane, quite furious; "her boiler never primed
more than wance a month, and that wass not with fair play. If Dougie
wass here he would tell you.
"I wass ass prood of that boat ass the Duke of Argyll, ay, or Lord
Breadalbane. If you would see me waalkin' aboot on her dake when we
wass lyin' at the quay! There wasna the like of it in the West Hielan's. I
wass chust sublime! She had a gold bead aboot her; it's no lie I am
tellin' you, and I would be pentin' her oot of my own pocket every time
we went to Arran for gravel. She drawed four feet forrit and nine aft,
and she could go like the duvvle."
"I have heard it put at five knots," I said maliciously.
Macfarlane bounded from his seat. "Five knots!" he cried. "Show me
the man that says five knots, and I will make him swallow the hatchet.
Six knots, ass sure ass my name iss Macfarlane; many a time between
the Skate and Otter. If Dougie wass here he would tell you. But I am
not braggin' aboot her sailin'; it wass her looks. Man, she was smert,
smert! Every time she wass new pented I would be puttin' on my
Sunday clothes. There wass a time yonder they would be callin' me
Two-flag Peter in Loch Fyne. It wass wance the Queen had a jubilee,
and we had but the wan flag, but a Macfarlane never wass bate, and I
put up the wan flag and a regatta shirt, and I'm telling you she looked
chust sublime!"
"I forget who it was once told me she was very wet," I cooed blandly;

"that with a head wind the Vital Spark nearly went out altogether. Of
course, people will say nasty things about these hookers. They say she
was very ill to trim, too."
Macfarlane jumped up again, grinding his teeth, and his face purple. He
could hardly speak with indignation. "Trum!" he shouted. "Did you say
'trum'? You could trum her with the wan hand behind your back and
you lookin' the other way. To the duvvle with your trum! And they
would be sayin' she wass wet! If Dougie wass here he would tell you.
She would not take in wan cup of watter unless it wass for synin' oot
the dishes. She wass that dry she would not wet a postage stamp unless
we slung it over the side in a pail. She wass sublime, chust sublime!
"I am telling you there iss not many men following the sea that could
sail the Fital Spark the way I could. There iss not a rock, no, nor a
chuckie stone inside the Cumbrie Heid that I do not have a name for. I
would ken them fine in the dark by the smell, and that iss not easy, I'm
telling you. And I am not wan of your dryland sailors. I wass wance at
Londonderry with her. We went at night, and did Dougie no' go away
and forget oil, so that we had no lamps, and chust had to sail in the dark
with our ears wide open. If Dougie wass here he would tell you. Now
and then Dougie would be striking a match for fear of a collusion."
"Where did he show it?" I asked innocently. "Forward or aft?"
"Aft," said the mariner suspiciously. "What for would it be aft? Do you
mean to say there could be a collusion aft? I am telling you she could
do her six knots before she cracked her shaft. It wass in the bow, of
course; Dougie had the matches. She wass chust sublime. A gold bead
oot of my own pocket, four men and a derrick, and a watter-butt and a
pan loaf in the fo'c'sle. My bonnie wee Fital Spark!"
He began to show symptoms of tears, and I hate to see an ancient
mariner's tears, so I hurriedly asked him how he had lost the command.
"I will tell you that," said he. "It was Dougie's fault. We had yonder a
cargo of coals for Tarbert, and we got doon the length of Greenock,
going fine, fine. It wass the day after the New Year, and I wass in fine

trum, and Dougie said, 'Wull we stand in here for orders?' and so we
went into Greenock for some marmalade, and did we no' stay three
days? Dougie and me wass going about Greenock looking for
signboards with Hielan' names on them, and every signboard we could
see with Campbell, or Macintyre, on it, or