The Unforseen Return | Page 9

philosophers say. She's been very unfortunate--she's gone plum crazy.
Richly: Gone crazy?
Roger: Raving. Her family tried to stop her. And her son who is a rake
gave his house for a fraction of the money hers was worth.
(Low) I'm getting in deeper and deeper.
Richly: But she doesn't have any son that I know of.
Roger: She doesn't have a son?
Richly: No. I'm sure of it.
Roger: Must have been her daughter then.
Richly: I'm irritated by this mischance. But I've amused myself long
enough. Open the door for me, will you?
Roger: (low) Ouf! Now we've reached the crisis.

Richly: What's the matter? Has something happened to my son?
Roger: No, sir.
Richly: Has someone stolen something in my absence?
Roger: Not at all.
(Low) What will I tell him?
Richly: Explain everything. Speak.
Roger: I an hardly keep from crying. Don't go in, sir. Your house--this
dear house--which you love--has for the last six months--
Richly: Well--my house--for the last six months--
Roger: The devil is haunting the place, sir. He made us take up
residence elsewhere.
Richly: The devil is in my house?
Roger: Yes, sir. Haunts the place. In fact, that's what has forced your
son to buy another house. We couldn't live there any more.
Richly: You're kidding me. It isn't possible.
Roger: There's no sort of malicious trick they haven't put on me.
Sometimes they mock me when I'm unable to move my feet.
Sometimes they shave my beard with a red hot razor--and without fail
every night they affront me with the stench of sulfur.
Richly: And now I say again, you're putting me on.
Roger: Not at all, sir. What hasn't happened to me? We've brought the
best exorcists in London. There's no way to force them out; this spirit is
furiously tenacious--he's the one that possesses women when they have
the devil in them.
Richly: A horrible thought has occurred to me. Tell me, I beg you, have
they been in the wine cellar?
Roger: Alas, sir, they forage everywhere.
Richly: I am lost. I buried fifty thousand pounds in that wine cellar.
Roger: Fifty thousand pounds! Sir, there are fifty thousand pounds in
your house?
Richly: In the wine cellar.
Roger: In the wine cellar. That's exactly where they hold their
Sabbath.-- Oh, if only we had known this. And where in the wine cellar
if you please?
Richly: To the left as you enter. Under a big block of stone near the
door.
Roger: Fifty thousand pounds under a big block of stone! You should

have told us--we could have saved you from this unlucky pass. It's on
the left as you go in, you say.
Richly: Yes. The place is easy to find.
Roger: I'll easily find it. But you know, sir, that it's worth your life--
you're risking your neck to go in there? And the whole sum is in gold?
Richly: All in pure gold.
Roger: (aside) Good. Easier to carry.
(Aloud) Oh, as to that, sir, since we know the cause of the evil it won't
be hard to find a remedy. I believe we'll--manage. Leave it to me.
Richly: I have trouble believing all you tell me. You tell me so many
stories about these matters that I don't know what to believe. I'll trust
you for now, but I'll find out what's what. What reversals one sees in
life! One can't make a little money without men or the devil trying to
get it away from you. The devil is not going to have it!
(Exit Richly)
(Enter Lucy)
Lucy: Ah, my poor Roger. Is it true that Mr. Edward's father has
returned?
Roger: Only too true, but to console us, I have found a treasure.
Lucy: A treasure?
Roger: In the wine cellar, as you enter--to the left under a large black
stone--a sack which contains fifty thousand pounds.
Lucy: Fifty thousand pounds.
Roger: Yes, child, and I tell you that will be plenty--run find the sack,
the sack--hurry!
Lucy: But--
Roger: The devil take you with your buts. Mr. Richly will return. Save
yourself--hide, quickly. To the treasure. To the treasure.
(Exit Lucy)
We are about to have a nice explanation. Now to navigate your ship
and bring it into port.
(Reenter Richly)
Richly: You see I wasn't long. I found my porters near here and I've
told them to wait because it seems a good idea to store my goods in the
house my son has bought.
Roger: A new fix!
Richly: I don't recognize the place too well, so you can take me there

yourself.
Roger; I want to, sir, but--
Richly: But what! The Devil isn't master there, too, is he?
Roger: Mrs. Prim is still living there.
Richly: Still living there?
Roger: Yes, indeed. It's agreed that