The Twin Hells | Page 8

near, so I asked my companion, in a whisper, what it was
that pleased him so. It was with difficulty and after several trials before
he could succeed in telling me what it was that caused him to be so
convulsed. I told him to take his time, cool off gradually, as I had
eighteen months, and could wait patiently. At last, being able to control
his feelings sufficiently to tell me, in the midst of his outbursts of
laughter, he said, "You look just like one of them zebras in Barnum's
Circus!" When my attention was called to the matter, sure enough, I did
look rather striped, and I, amused at his suggestion, laughed also. Soon
an officer came gliding around in front of the cell, when our laughing
ceased. My companion was a young fellow from Doniphan County. He
got drunk and tried to rob an associate, still drunker, of a twenty dollar
gold piece. He was arrested, tried and convicted of robbery, receiving a
sentence of one year. Directly an officer came, took him out of my cell
and conducted him to another department. All alone, I sat in my little
parlor for nearly an hour, thinking over the past. My reverie was at
length broken by the turning of my door lock. A fresh arrival was told
to "git in." This prisoner had the appearance of just having been lassoed
on the wild western prairies. He resembled a cow-boy. His whiskers
were long and sandy. His hair, of the same color, fell upon his
shoulders. As soon as the officer had gone away and everything had
become quiet, I asked this fellow his name. "Horserider," was his reply,

from which I inferred that he was a horse-thief. "How long a term have
you?" was my next question. "Seven years," was his reply. I comforted
him by saying it would be some time before he rode another horse.
The next part of the programme consisted in a little darkey coming in
front of our cell with a rudely constructed barber's chair. The cell door
opened, and an officer said to me, as if he would hit me with a club the
next moment, "Git out of there." I went out. Pointing to the barber's
chair, he said, "Squat yourself in that chair." I sat down. "Throw back
your head." I laid it back. It was not long before my raven mustache
was off, and my hair cut rather uncomfortably short for fly time. After
this tonsorial artist had finished his work then came the command once
more, "Git in." I got in. It now came Mr. Horserider's turn to bid a long
farewell to his auburn locks. He took his place in the chair, and the
little darkey, possibly for his own amusement, cut off the hair on one
side of the head and left the other untouched. He then shaved one side
of his face without disturbing the other. At this moment the bell for
dinner rang, and the little colored fellow broke away and ran to his
division, to fall in ranks, so that he would not miss his noon meal. Once
more Mr. Horserider entered his cell and we were locked in. A more
comical object I never beheld; he did not even possess the beauty of a
baboon; he might certainly have passed for the eighth wonder of the
world. When he came in I handed him the small looking-glass and
asked him how he liked his hair-cut. Remember, one side of his head
and face was shaved close, and the other covered with long sandy hair
and beard. Looking into the glass, he exclaimed: "Holy Moses! and
who am I, anyway?" I answered his question by stating that he favored
Mr. What-Is-It. He was very uneasy for a time, thinking that he was
going to be left in that condition. He wanted to know of me if all
horse-thieves of the penitentiary wore their hair and whiskers in this
style. I comforted him all I could by imparting the information that they
did. He was much relieved when the darkey returned after dinner and
finished the shaving.
I was next taken out of my cell to pass a medical examination. Dr.
Mooney, the gentlemanly officer in charge of the hospital, put in an
appearance with a large book under his arm and sat down by a table. I

was ushered into his presence. He began asking me questions, and
wrote down my answers in his book, which proved to be the physician's
register.
"Have you any decayed teeth?" was his first question,
"No, sir," was my reply.
"Have you ever lost any teeth?"
"No, sir."
"Have you ever had the measles?"
"Yes, sir."
"Have you ever had the mumps?"
"Yes, sir."
"Have you ever