The Turkish Jester | Page 6

Hoca Nasreddin
will remain.' The Cogia did so, and at the second belching, laying himself down on the ground, he cried, 'I am dead,' and remained motionless. Forthwith the Ulemas hastened to him, and bringing with them a coffin, placed him in it, saying, 'Let us carry him home.' On their way, coming to a miry place, they said, 'We will rest,' and began to talk together. The Cogia, forthwith raising his head from the coffin, said, 'If I were alive I would get out of this place as quick as possible.'
One day the Cogia set about making a stable under the earth. As he was digging, he got into a stable of one of his neighbours, in which he found several oxen. The Cogia, very much rejoiced, went into his house, and said, 'O wife, I have found a stable of oxen; a relic of the times of the Caffirs. Now what will you give me for bringing you this piece of good news?'
Nasr Eddin Efendi had two daughters. One day the two coming to see their father, the Cogia said to them, 'Well, daughters, how do things go on with you?' Now, the husband of one of them was a farmer, that of the other was a maker of tiles. One of them said, 'My husband has sown a great deal of corn; if there is plenty of rain my husband will give me a new gown.' The other said, 'My husband is a tile-maker; he has made a great quantity; if there is not a drop of rain he will give me a new gown.' The Cogia said, 'One of you two may be worth a cucumber, but which of the two God knows, I don't.'
One day the Cogia being at Siouri Castle he saw a great many people assembled to look at the moon. 'What a strange land is this,' said the Cogia. 'In our country they pay no attention to the moon when it is as big as a cart wheel, but here, when it is quite new and of scarcely any size, what a number of people assemble to look at it.'
Once as Nasr Eddin Efendi was walking in Belgrade he cried out, 'O Lord! give me a thousand altoons, but if one be wanting I will not take the rest.' Now these words of the Cogia were heard by a neighbour of his, a Jew, who, in order to try the Cogia, put nine hundred and ninety-nine altoons into a purse and flung it down the Cogia's chimney. The Cogia sees a purse full of money before him, up he gets, and saying, 'Our prayer has been accepted,' he opens the purse, and, counting the altoons, finds that one is wanting. 'Never mind,' says he, 'He who gives these can give one more,' and takes possession of the money. The Jew now began to be in a fidget, and, getting up, knocked at the Cogia's door. 'Good day, Cogia Efendi,' said he, 'please to give me back my altoons.' Quoth the Cogia to the Jew, 'You are a merchant, and not a fool; I made a request to God on high, He gave me what I asked; what business had you to fling altoons to me?' The Jew said, 'O Cogia of my soul, I said I will have a jest with you. On hearing you say, "If one is wanting I will not take the rest," I said to myself, "I will see whether you will or not"; I did it merely in jest.' 'Jest,' said the Cogia, 'I know nothing of jest; I accepted the gold.' 'Come, come!' said the Jew, 'we will go before the Judge.' Said the Cogia, 'I will not go on foot before the Judge.' Thereupon the Jew brought the Cogia a mule. 'Very good,' said the Cogia, 'but I must now have a pelisse for my back.' The Jew brought him the pelisse, and they set off to the tribunal of the Cadi. The Cadi asking what they came for, the Jew said, 'This man took from me so many altoons and now he denies having done so.' The Cadi looked in the Cogia's face, whereupon the Cogia said, 'My Lord, I asked in prayer of the Most High a thousand altoons, which He gave. On counting them, however, I found that one was wanting, whereupon I said, "He who gives so many altoons will doubtless give one more," and I accepted them; but, my Lord, this Jew says that the pelisse which you see on my back, and the mule on which I am mounted, are also his.' 'Yes, assuredly, my Lord,' said the Jew, 'for mine they are both.' No sooner had he said these words than every one cried out, 'Upon you, you Jew rascal,'
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