The Turkish Jester | Page 8

the muslin, and going to the public mart, put it up to auction. Whilst it was being bid for, a person came and bought it. Whereupon the Cogia going softly up to him, said, 'Brother, don't take that thick thing; it is too short for a turban; you can't bring it to a point.'
One day an individual coming to the Cogia said, 'Something for my good news, Cogia Efendi. You have a son born to you.' 'If I have a son born to me,' said the Cogia, 'I owe thanks to God, but what do I owe to you?'
One day a man coming to the Cogia asked him for the loan of his ass. 'Stay here,' said the Cogia, 'whilst I go and consult the animal. If the ass is willing to be lent, I will let you have him.' Thereupon he went in, and after staying {p:275} for a time came out and said, 'The ass is not willing, and has said to me, "If you lend me to others I shall overhear all the evil things that they say of your wife."'
One day the Cogia, mounting his ass, set off for his garden; on the road, wanting to make water, he took off his woollen vest, and placing it on the pack-saddle of his ass, he went aside. A thief coming up took the woollen vest and ran away with it. The Cogia returning saw that the vest was gone; whereupon taking the pack-saddle from the back of the ass, he put it upon his own shoulders, and giving the ass a cut with his whip, he said, 'You lost my vest, so I take your saddle.'
One day Cogia Nasr Eddin Efendi, mounting his ass, again set out; on the way, wanting to make water, he again laid his vest upon the ass, and went aside. A person who had his eye upon him, instantly seized the vest and ran away; just at that time the ass began to bray. The Cogia hearing him, shouted out, 'The ass brays: the ass cries--no good sign.' The person, however, hearing the braying and the shouting, cast the vest upon the ground and made his escape.
One day Cogia Efendi, having lost his ass, inquired of a certain individual whether he had seen him. 'I saw him,' said the individual, 'in a certain town, officiating as Cadi.' 'You say {p:276} true,' said the Cogia, 'I knew he would be a Cadi, for I observed when I taught him the principles of philosophy, that his ears were not sewed up.'
One day Nasr Eddin Efendi went to the mountain to cut wood; after he had cut the wood he loaded his ass, and began to drive him home. The Efendi's ass, however, would hardly move. A person coming up, said, 'Put a little sal ammoniac into the --- of the ass.' The Cogia finding a little sal ammoniac, put it in; whereupon the ass began to run so quickly that the Cogia was left far behind. 'I would fain see the cause of this,' said the Cogia, and clapped a little of the sal ammoniac to his own ---. No sooner had he done so than the Cogia's posterior began to swell, and he set off running so quickly that he soon got before the ass, and ran straight home, but not being able to contain himself in the house, he ran about it, and observing his wife, he said, 'O wife, whenever you wish me to get me on, do you stick a little sal ammoniac in my ---.'
One day a man came to the house of the Cogia and asked him to lend him his ass. 'He is not at home,' replied the Cogia. But it so happened that the ass began to bray within. 'O Cogia Efendi,' said the man, 'you say that the ass is not at home, and there he is braying within.' 'What a strange fellow you are!' said the Cogia. 'You believe the ass, but will not believe a grey-bearded man like me.' {p:277}
One day the Cogia said to his wife, 'O wife, how do you know when a man is dead?' 'I know it by his hands and feet being cold,' said she. One day as the Cogia was going to the mountain for wood, he felt cold in his hands and feet; whereupon he said, 'I am a dead man,' and laid himself down at the foot of a tree. Some wolves, however, coming up and beginning to devour his ass, the Cogia shouted to the wolves from the place where he was lying, 'The ass is dead, it seems, and not the master.'
One day as the Cogia was cutting wood in the mountain, a wolf, coming up to his ass, began to devour it;