The True Woman | Page 4

few of them care to duplicate their power. They prefer to obtain by marriage that which they have not, and which must be supplied by material from without. Homely people oftentimes find beautiful ones to mate them. The rugged seeks the weak. The nervous, the lymphatic. Counterpart that which makes itself complete. This tendency to assimilate is often carried to extremes, because all naturally love that which they possess, and come to prize highly those who regard it with favor. Hence, poor men sometimes marry rich wives, and seldom fail to give something in return. The story is familiar of the two foppish young men who were said to have met at a noted hotel or on change, when one accosted the other by the question, "Who did you marry?" "Ah," said he, "I married fifty thousand dollars. I forget her other name." Such men, however, are exceptions to the rule. There are brainless creatures called men, who will marry a pretty face, though the heart and brain be uncultured, provided there be associated with her sufficient of this world's goods to gratify a mercenary ambition; but the majority, both of men and women, wisely prefer to marry money in a partner rather than money with a partner. The world has a profound contempt for shallow, fussy, empty people, no matter what positions they may occupy.
All sympathize with the rebuke administered to a so-called lady of quality by a Quaker gentleman, who occupied a seat near her in a public coach. She wore an elegant lace shawl, and was dressed to the top of the fashion, but was suffering from the cold. Shivering and shaking, she inquired, "What shall I do to get warm?" "Thee had better put on another breastpin," answered old Broadbrim. The rebuke was timely. Woman degrades herself when she surrenders to fashion that which helps the woman, and which aids her in securing the confidence, the friendship, the respect, and admiration of sensible men.
The truth embodied in the words, "This shall be called Woman, because _from man was she taken_" sheds light upon many a mysterious chapter in life, reconciles the union of contraries in accordance with the law of God, and fills wide realms of life with the radiance of hope, which otherwise would remain mantled in perpetual gloom. If we depended upon those who are like ourselves to sympathize with us, and gird us with strength, we should utterly fail. Oaks cannot lend support to oaks. The vine can do this for the oak, and the oak can give support to the vine; but an oak cannot give strength to its kindred while fulfilling the functions of its life. The same law rules in the mental world. Genius seldom applauds genius, working in its own realm. Very likely it loathes it. The tributes paid to labor are given by the soft-handed rather than by the hard-handed sons of toil. This principle lies back of the appreciation, the commendation, and the support rendered by the different classes of a community to each other.
The God-given and Christ-restored thought of equality between the sexes is seen in the household partnership, where the woman looks for a "smart, but kind" husband, the man for a "capable, sweet-tempered" wife. The man furnishes the house, the woman regulates it. Their relation is one of mutual esteem, mutual dependence. Their talk is of business; their affection shows itself by practical kindness. They know that life goes more smoothly and cheerfully to each for the other's aid; they are grateful and content. The wife praises her husband as a "good provider;" the husband, in return, compliments her as a capital housekeeper. This relation is good as far as it goes; but the heart of the man or woman is unsatisfied, if to household partnership intellectual companionship be not added.
Men can hire their houses kept. Love cannot be purchased. Soul communion is the gift of God. It is very often enjoyed on earth. Men engaged in public life, literary men and artists, have often found in their wives companions and confidants in thought, no less than in feeling. And as the intellectual development of woman has spread wider and risen higher, they have, not unfrequently, shared the same employments.
Thirdly, spiritual. The highest grade of marriage union is the spiritual, which may be expressed as a pilgrimage towards a common shrine.
There is something in every man which he feels to be the essential thing about him. This it is which he desires to have loved. Neglect what else you choose, you must not neglect that. It is the spiritual part of man,--the God-given characteristic which longs for sympathy. Men feel that this want has been met when they say, "Such a one understands me, knows me, sees me, is in sympathy with me." Such