The True Life of Betty Ireland | Page 6

they had. If the Farmer had damaged
Hops, he sold them to Betty Ireland; if his Malt was blinked, away it
went to her; and the Pothecary thought his decayed Drugs good enough
for Betty, and instead of burning them, laid them by for her, as tho' she
were not a Christian, or had the same Inside as her Sister.
Betty could not help this contemptuous Treatment, as she had nothing
she wanted at Home, by reason of her Laziness, though all Materials in
abundance were at hand. 'Tis incredible to relate, but, at the Time I am
speaking of, certain Fact, on her whole Estate there was not one to be

found could make a Buckle for her Shoe, or a Pin to her Sleeve; a Pot, a
Spit, or any Utensil to cook her Victuals, might as well be found among
the Tartars as with her. She took every thing from her Sister at what
Price she pleased, unsight unseen, and bought the Pig in the Poke.
Necessity roused her from Stupidity and Sloth, she encouraged her
Tenants to apply to Trades, assured them of a ready Market, and
rewarded those that did their Work the best; and, at present, has every
thing within herself. And tho' it must be owned a very unreasonable,
and not to be endured Instance of her Impudence, she proposes to dress
in her own Manufactures, and does not mean to trouble her Sister any
longer for cast Cloaths and unmerchantable commodities. But in every
other Respect, she desires to keep up a good Correspondence with her,
and is daily doing every thing in her Power, to gain her Favour, and
procure her Regards. Whatever she can spare from her ordinary
Expences, she, in some Shape or other, makes a Present of to her Sister,
in Acknowledgement for Services done, and Kindnesses receiv'd in her
Minority. Has Blanch a Favourite whom she cannot readily provide for,
a poor Relation on hand, or Retainer to the Family, a broken Projector,
or cast Serving-man; she has no more to do but acquaint Betty with it,
who quickly puts him on a creditable Pension, and never refuses,
though she run herself in Debt by it. Is Blanch engaged in a Brangle
with her Tenants, (who, by the way, are cursedly litigious) and hard put
to it for Hands to do her Business, Betty makes an Offer of sending her
People to help her, and maintaining them abroad at her own Charges.
Does a Tenant of Blanch come to favour her with a Visit, she receives
him with Hospitality and Respect, and would sacrifice her Fortune to
make his Entertainment agreeable.
If all this Complaisance should fail of its Effect, and not so succeed as
to keep Blanch in good Humour, 'tis easy to say where the Fault must
lie, and from what Causes her Discontents arise.
In the first Place, it has ever been the Fate of her Domesticks to be
invincibly hated by her Tenants without Difference or Distinction, (for,
to say Truth, they have no Head for Distingo's:) There is but one Thing
in the World they hate more, and that is Betty Ireland. Now, the
Servants bear hard on Betty, to curry Favour with her Sister's Tenants,

who would go half Way to the D----l to have Betty d----d, are for ever
cursing her, and laying all their Misfortunes at her Door. If the Clothier
loses his Business, or has his Goods on Hand, 'tis all 'long of Betty:
Wheat bears no Price, for Betty has glutted the Market. Whereas, in
Fact, they never keep the same Markets. But they forget, they are all so
idle and debauched, such gobling and drinking Rascals, and so
expensive in blew Beer, that they are forced to put a double Price on
every thing goes to Market; so that no Body will deal with them.
Indeed, if it incenses them, that Betty won't buy, burn her own Goods
and take off theirs, they must e'en turn the Buckle behind. Blanch will
be wiser, for her own sake, than lay Stresses on her Sister, from whom
she gets more than by all the World beside, only to humour a Set of
grumbling Churls, who don't know what they would be at; and so
extremely senseless, that it's Matter of Wonder, their Oxen don't ride
them to the Market, and sell them. 'Tis true, a Linen-weaver, one of
Blanch's Tenants, prevailed on her lately to withdraw some
Encouragement she had given Betty, and transfer it to a Stranger. But
that was owing to bad Advice given her, by a Clerk she has since
turned off, and sent a stroling among Brandy-shops and Ale-houses, to
backbite his Lady for want of other Employment.
Another Cause of Blanch's Dislike to her Sister