The Tale of Major Monkey | Page 9

of relief. He was glad that the trouble had proved no
worse. And now he turned once more to inspect the crowd of generals that was to make
up his army.
"Here, you!" he said suddenly, pointing to a brownish gentleman at one end of the front
rank. "What's your name?"
"Rusty Wren!" was the meek reply.
"Don't stick your tail up in the air like that!" Major Monkey cried. "You're spoiling the
looks of the whole army."
Rusty Wren replied that it was very hard for him to keep his tail down for longer than a
few moments at a stretch.
"I don't believe I'll be in the army," he announced. "Probably my wife is wondering
where I am this moment. So I'm going home." And thereupon he flew away toward
Farmer Green's dooryard, where he lived.
"Well, we're rid of him, anyhow," said Major Monkey. And then he noticed something
else that wasn't as it should have been.
"Here, you!" he called to Peter Mink. "Pull in your neck! It's too long! It sticks out and
spoils the looks of the whole army."
Now, Peter Mink was a rude fellow. And he made such a rude reply that Major Monkey
discharged him on the spot.
"Go away!" he cried. "We don't want any rowdies in our army."

XI
War in the Woods
Although Major Monkey had ordered him out of the army, Peter Mink declared that he
wasn't going till he was ready to leave.
"Very well," said the Major easily. "You may stay here; and we'll go."
But Peter Mink was an obstinate fellow. The moment the army started to move, he went
along with it. And what was worse, he insisted on walking right behind Major Monkey,
and trying to strut just as the Major did.
Some of the generals couldn't help snickering. And of course Major Monkey couldn't
overlook such behavior.

"Order in the ranks!" he shouted as fiercely as he knew how.
The generals stopped tittering at once. For a minute or two everybody marched on in
silence. And then the cry, "Halt!" rang suddenly out.
The generals all stopped. Major Monkey stopped, too. And his face seemed more
wrinkled than ever as he looked every general in the face.
Naturally, that took some time, for there were several dozens of them.
"Who shouted 'Halt?'" the Major asked at last.
But nobody knew. At least, nobody answered. And there was a good deal of low talking
and craning of necks. For some reason or other, everybody peered at Peter Mink. But he
stared straight ahead in the most innocent fashion.
Major Monkey said nothing more. But he walked behind the army and picked up a stick.
"Forward, march!" he commanded then. And as the army moved on, he continued to
walk in the rear, just behind old Mr. Crow.
Soon the cry, "Halt!" sounded again. And as soon as he heard it, Major Monkey threw his
stick with great force and caught Peter Mink neatly in the back of his head. Peter Mink
toppled over where he stood.
"There!" Major Monkey remarked. "He won't bother us any more to-day." And before the
army had stopped gasping, he marched it forward again, leaving Peter Mink stretched
upon the ground.
Some of the generals objected, and said that they thought that Peter Mink ought to be
looked after.
But Major Monkey told them that they were in the army, and that it was war, and they
must expect even worse things to happen.
Now, Jimmy Rabbit was a tender-hearted chap. He couldn't bear the thought of leaving
even a rascal like Peter Mink wounded and alone.
"I think you ought to send the cook back to take care of him," Jimmy told Major Monkey.
At that, Mr. Crow--who was the cook--spoke up and said that he was going to stay with
the army.
"I don't see," he said, "how you could get along without me. An army without a cook is as
good as lost."
Major Monkey promptly agreed with Mr. Crow.
"Certainly we mustn't get lost," he said. "If we were lost, the enemy never could find us.

And we might wander about in the woods for years and years."
His remarks made some of the generals a bit uneasy. And one of them--a soldier called
Billy Woodchuck--announced that he would have to be leaving.

XII
Over and Under
When Billy Woodchuck talked about leaving the army, Major Monkey became greatly
excited. He muttered something under his breath about deserters, and shooting them at
sunrise. And he strutted up to Billy Woodchuck and asked him what he meant by quitting
the army without permission.
Though Billy Woodchuck hung his head, he insisted that he must go home.
"I have an engagement," he explained, "to stand