The Sunny Side of Diplomatic Life, 1875-1912 | Page 2

to
be seen with the naked eye. Poverty When out of service. Quo (status)
Diplomatic expression, meaning in French, Une jambe en l'air. Ruse A
carefully disguised thought as transparent as a soap-bubble. Secretary
Furniture easily moved. Traditions A door always open for refuge.
Traités (de paix) A series of dinners paid for by a lavish government.
Uniform A bestarred and beribboned livery. Visits The most important
duty of a diplomat. Wisdom Good to have, but easily dispensed with.
Xpectations A tree which seldom bears fruit. Yawn What a diplomat
does over his rapports. Zeal Something a diplomat ought never to have
too much of.

THE SUNNY SIDE OF DIPLOMATIC LIFE

WASHINGTON, 1875-1880

WASHINGTON, November, 1875.
Dear Mother,--After my hurriedly written letter of the 24th you will
know that we have arrived here safely. My first introduction to my first
post as diplomat's wife was made unwittingly by a gentleman walking
with a friend just behind me. "Who is that gentleman?" said he,
indicating Johan. "That? That is the Minister of Denmark." I, struggling
with an arm-load of flowers culled from well-intentioned friends at
different stations on the road, my maid and Johan's valet bringing up

the rear with the overflow of small baggage, passed unnoticed. Now we
are quite established here, and I have already commenced my
diplomatic duties. There seems to be no end of card-leaving and
card-receiving, and a list of rules on etiquette (the Ten Commandments
of a Diplomat) as long as your arm. I never knew of anything so
confusing. I try to remember the things that I must do and the things
that I must not do. How many cold shower-baths of reproval have I
already received; how many unruly things have I already done! We are
invited to many dinners, luncheons, and entertainments of all kinds. I
am knee-deep in engagements, actually wading in them. The
engagement-book you gave me is already overfilled.
We were very much amused at the collection of newspaper cuttings you
sent us. Johan thought the one describing him as "a massive blonde of
magnificent proportions, whose pure heart and clean hands had won all
hearts in Washington" [previous to winning mine], was much too
personal. "The medals [his prized decorations] were not his fault, and
should not be laid up against him; and as for the gold key which he
wears on his back, it is considered a great honor, as few Danes have
had it conferred on them, being, as it is, the key of the king's own
bedchamber, and giving the wearer the privilege of entering there when
he likes."
Another one which amused us says "the bride is to be congratulated on
having annexed as fine a specimen of a viking as any one could desire,
and, although she has not secured a golden crown for her marble brow,
she has secured a name that ought to be good for a 'three-bagger' on
any diamond, and that just to see it written on a hotel register makes
any hotel clerk faint." Johan asked me what a "three-bagger" was, but I
could not tell him. Then the worst one! "Mr. de Hegermann is envoy
extraordinary and parson to his Danish 'nibs.'" Johan was horrified at
this lèse majesté. We looked the word "nibs" out in the dictionary, only
to find that in cribbage "nibs" means the knave of trumps. This made
matters worse; to call his sovereign a knave--even of trumps--seemed
too disrespectful.
It was very nice of Norris, your Cambridge grocer, to placard the fruit

in his shop window in our honor. "Lindencrone beauties" and "the
Danish pair" show a certain amount of humor which ought to be
applauded. Such a pun goes to my heart. I hope you encouraged him by
buying them all and can tell me what a "Danish pair" looks like.
It would take more than one letter of mine written on foolscap paper to
tell you of our colleagues and friends. I can do it in sections when I
have time. But, oh, when can I get the time!
* * * * *
I have had my "audience" (Johan calls it an "audience"; I call it a "call
on Mrs. President Grant at the White House"). There was nothing
formal or formidable about it. Mrs. Grant and I sat on the sofa together
and talked generalities. Johan could not tell me what to expect. He said
his audience with the President had been a surprise, unprecedented by
anything he had ever seen. As it was his first post as Minister, he had
pictured to himself that it would be somewhat like the ceremonies
abroad--very solemn and impressive. Of course he was in his red gala
uniform, with all his decorations. A hired landau brought him to the
steps