The Story of Patsy | Page 5

animated interrogation point. My need of explanation must have been hopelessly evident, for he hastened to add footnotes to the original text.
"He's allers out o' work, yer know, 'n he don't sleep ter home, 'n if yer want him yer have to hunt him up. He's real busy now, though,--doin' fine."
"That's good. What does he do?"
"He marches with the workingmen's percessions 'n holds banners."
"I see." The Labor Problem and the Chinese Question were the great topics of interest in all grades of California society just then. My mission in life was to keep the children of these marching and banner-holding laborers from going to destruction.
"And you haven't any father, poor little man?"
"Yer bet yer life I don't want no more father in mine. He knocked me down them stairs, and then he went off in a ship, and I don't go a cent on fathers! Say, is this a 'zamination?"
I was a good deal amused and should have felt a little rebuked, had I asked a single question from idle curiosity. "Yes, it's a sort of one, Patsy,--all the kind we have."
"And do I hev to bring any red tape?"
"What do you mean?"
"Why, Jim said he bet 't would take an orful lot o' red tape t' git me in."
Here he withdrew with infinite trouble from his ragged pocket an orange, or at least the remains of one, which seemed to have been fiercely dealt with by circumstances.
"Here's an orange I brung yer! It's been skwuz some, but there's more in it."
[Illustration: "HERE'S AN ORANGE I BRUNG YER."]
"Thank you, Patsy." (Forced expression of radiant gratitude.) "Now, let us see! You want to come to the Kindergarten, do you, and learn to be a happy little working boy? But oh, Patsy, I'm like the old woman in the shoe, I have so many children I don't know what to do."
"Yes, I know. Jim knows a boy what went here wunst. He said yer never licked the boys; and he said, when the 'nifty' little girls come to git in, with their white aprons, yer said there warn't no room; but when the dirty chaps with tored close come, yer said yer'd make room. Jim said as how yer'd never show me the door, sure." (Bless Jim's heart!) "P'raps I can't come every day, yer know, 'cos I might have fits."
"Fits! Good gracious, child! What makes you think that?"
"Oh, I has 'em" (composedly). "I kicks the footboard clean off when I has 'em bad, all along o' my losin' them three year! Why, yer got an orgind, hain't yer? Where's the handle fur to make it go? Couldn't I blow it for yer?"
"It's a piano, not an organ; it doesn't need blowing."
"Oh, yes, I see one in a s'loon; I seen such an orful pretty lady play on one. She give her silk dress a swish to one side, so! and then she cocked her head over sideways like a bird, and then her hands, all jinglin' over with rings, went a-whizzin' up and down them black and white teeth just like sixty!"
"You know, Patsy, I can't bear to have my little Kindergarten boys stand around the saloon doors; it isn't a good place, and if you want to be good men you must learn to be good little boys first, don't you see?"
"Well, I wanted some kind of fun. I seen a cirkis wunst,--that was fun! I seen it through a hole; it takes four bits to git inside the tent, and me and another feller found a big hole and went halveys on it. First he give a peek, and then I give a peek, and he was bigger'n me, and he took orful long peeks, he did, 'nd when it come my turn the ladies had just allers jumped through the hoops, or the horses was gone out; 'nd bimeby he said mebbe we might give the hole a stretch and make it a little mite bigger, it wouldn't do no harm, 'nd I'd better cut it, 'cos his fingers was lame; 'nd I just cutted it a little mite, 'n' a cop come up behind and h'isted us and I never seen no more cirkis; but I went to Sunday-school wunst, and it warn't so much fun as the cirkis!"
I thought I would not begin moral lectures at once, but seize a more opportune time to compare the relative claims of Sunday-school and circus.
"You've got things fixed up mighty handy here, haven't yer? It's most as good as Woodward's Gardens,--fishes--'nd c'nary birds--'nd flowers--'nd pictures--is there stories to any of 'em?"
"Stories to every single one, Patsy! We've just turned that corner by the little girl feeding chickens, and to-morrow we shall begin on that splendid dog by the window."
Patsy's face was absolutely radiant with excitement. "Jiminy! I'm glad I