The Sot-weed Factor | Page 5

in the Face of Justice flies;?The Bench in fury streight divide,?And Scribble's take or Judge's side;?The Jury, Lawyers and their Clyents,?Contending fight like earth-born Gyants;?But Sheriff wily lay perdue,?Hoping Indictments wou'd ensue,?And when----------------------?A Hat or Wig fell in the way,?He seized them for the _Queen_ as stray:?The Court adjourn'd in usual manner?In Battle Blood and fractious Clamour;?I thought it proper to provide,?A Lodging for myself and Guide,?So to our Inn we march'd away,?Which at a little distance lay;?Where all things were in such Confusion,?I thought the World at its conclusion;?A Herd of Planters on the ground,?O'er-whelm'd with Punch, dead drunk, we found;?Others were fighting and contending,?Some burnt their Cloaths to save the mending.?A few whose Heads by frequent use,?Could better bare the potent Juice,?Gravely debated State Affairs.?Whilst I most nimbly trip'd up Stairs;?Leaving my Friend discoursing oddly,?And mixing things Prophane and Godly;?Just then beginning to be Drunk,?As from the Company I slunk,?To every Room and Nook I crept,?In hopes I might have somewhere slept;?But all the bedding was possest?By one or other drunken Guest:?But after looking long about,?I found an antient Corn-loft out,?Glad that I might in quiet sleep,?And there my bones unfractur'd keep.?I lay'd me down secure from Fray,?And soundly snoar'd till break of Day;?When waking fresh I sat upright,?And found my Shooes were vanish'd quite;?Hat, Wig, and Stockings, all were fled?From this extended _Indian_ Bed;?Vext at the Loss of Goods and Chattel,?I swore I'd give the Rascal battel,?Who had abus'd me in this fort,?And Merchant Stranger made his Sport.?I furiously descended Ladder;?No Hare in _March_ was ever madder;?In vain I search'd for my Apparel,?And did with Oast and Servants Quarrel;?For one whose Mind did much aspire?To (z) Mischief, threw them in the Fire:
Equipt with neither Hat nor Shooe,?I did my coming hither rue,?And doubtful thought what I should do:?Then looking round, I saw my Friend?Lie naked on a Table's end;?A sight so dismal to behold,?One wou'd have judg'd him dead and cold,?When wringing of his bloody Nose,?By fighting got we may suppose;?I found him not so fast asleep,?Might give his friends a cause to weep:?Rise (aa) _Oronooko_, rise said I,?And from this _Hell_ and _Bedlam_ fly.?My Guide starts up, and in amaze,?With blood-shot Eyes did round him gaze;?At length with many a sigh and groan,?He went in search of aged Rhoan;?But Rhoan, tho' seldom us'd to faulter,?Had fairly this time slipt his Halter;?And not content all Night to stay?Ty'd up from Fodder, ran away:?After my Guide to ketch him ran,?And so I lost both Horse and Man:?Which Disappointment tho' so great,?Did only Mirth and Jests create:?Till one more Civil than the rest,?In Conversation for the best,?Observing that for want of Rhoan,?I should be left to walk alone;?Most readily did me intreat,?To take a Bottle at his Seat;?A Favour at that time so great,?I blest my kind propitious Fate;?And finding soon a fresh supply,?Of Cloaths from Stoar-house kept hard by,?I mounted streight on such a Steed,?Did rather curb, than whipping need;
And straining at the usual rate,?With spur of Punch which lay in Pate,?E'er long we lighted at the Gate:?Where in an antient _Cedar_ House,?Dwelt my new Friend a (bb) Cockerouse;?Whose Fabrick tho' 'twas built of Wood,?Had many Springs and Winters stood;?When sturdy Oaks, and lofty Pines?Were level'd with (cc) Musmillion Vines,?And Plants eradicated were,?By Hurricanes into the air;?There with good Punch and Apple Juice,?We spent our Hours without abuse;?Till Midnight in her sable Vest,?Persuaded Gods and Men to rest;?And with a pleasing kind surprize,?Indulg'd soft Slumbers to my Eyes.?Fierce (dd) _?thon_ courser of the Sun,?Had half his Race exactly run;
And breath'd on me a fiery Ray,?Darting hot Beams the following Day,?When snug in Blanket white I lay:?But Heat and (ee) Chinces rais'd the Sinner,?Most opportunely to his Dinner;
Wild Fowl and Fish delicious Meats,?As good as _Neptune's_ doxy eats,?Began our Hospitable Treat;?Fat Venson follow'd in the Rear,?And Turkies wild (ff) Luxurious Chear:?But what the Feast did most commend,?Was hearty welcom from my Friend.?Thus having made a noble Feast,?And eat as well as pamper'd Priest,?_Madera_ strong in flowing Bowls,?Fill'd with extream delight our Souls;?Till wearied with a purple Flood,?Of generous Wine (the Giant's blood,?As Poets feign) away I made,?For some refreshing verdant Shade;?Where musing on my Rambles strange,?And Fortune which so oft did change;?In midst of various Contemplations?Of Fancies odd, and Meditations,?I slumbered long---------------?Till hazy Night with noxious Dews?Did sleep's unwholsom Fetters lose;?With Vapors chil'd, and misty air,?To fire-side I did repair;?Near which a jolly Female Crew,?Were deep engag'd at _Lanctre-Looe_;?In Night-rails white, with dirty Mein,?Such Sights are scarce in _England_ seen:?I thought them first some Witches bent,?On Black Designs in dire Convent.?Till one who with affected air,?Had nicely learn'd to Curse and Swear;?Cry'd Dealing's lost is but a Flam,?And vow'd by G----d she'd keep her _Pam_.?When dealing through the board had run,?They ask'd me kindly to make one;?Not staying often