The Sot-weed Factor | Page 4

there resort,?Which Justice made, and Law their sport,?In that sagacious County Court:
Scarce had we enter'd on the way,?Which thro' thick Woods and Marshes lay;?But _Indians_ strange did soon appear,?In hot persuit of wounded Deer;?No mortal Creature can express,?His wild fantastick Air and Dress;
His painted Skin in Colours dy'd,?His sable hair in Satchel ty'd,?Shew'd Savages not free from Pride;?His tawny Thighs, and Bosom bare,?Disdain'd a useless Coat to wear,?Scorn'd Summer's Heat, and Winter's Air;?His manly shoulders such as please?Widows and Wives, were bathed in grease,?Of Cub and Bear, whose supple Oil?Prepar'd his Limbs 'gainst Heat or Toil.?Thus naked Pict in Battel fought,?Or undisguis'd his Mistress sought;?And knowing well his Ware was good,?Refus'd to screen it with a Hood;
His visage dun, and chin that ne'er?Did Raizor feel or Scissers bare,?Or knew the Ornament of Hair,?Look'd sternly Grim, surprized with Fear,?I spur'd my Horse as he drew near:?But Rhoan who better knew than I,?The little Cause I had to fly;?Seem'd by his solemn steps and pace,?Resolv'd I shou'd the Specter face,?Nor faster mov'd, tho' spur'd and lick'd,?Than _Balaam's_ Ass by Prophet kick'd.?_Kekicknitop_ (q) the Heathen cry'd;?How is it, _Tom_, my Friend reply'd,?Judging from thence the Brute was civil,?I boldly fac'd the Courteous Devil;?And lugging out a Dram of Rum,?I gave his Tawny worship some:
Who in his language as I guess,?(My Guide informing me no less,)?Implored the (r) Devil, me to bless.?I thank'd him for his good Intent,?And forwards on my Journey went,?Discoursing as along I rode,?Whether this Race was framed by God,?Or whether some Malignant pow'r,?Contriv'd them in an evil hour,?And from his own Infernal Look,?Their Dusky form and Image took:?From hence we fell to Argument?Whence Peopled was this Continent.?My Friend suppos'd _Tartarians_ wild,?Or _Chinese_ from their Home exiled,
Wandering thro' Mountains hid with Snow?And Rills did in the Vallies flow?Far to the South of _Mexico_:?Broke thro' the Barrs which Nature cast?And wide unbeaten Regions past,?Till near those Streams the humane deludge roll'd,?Which sparkling shin'd with glittering Sands of Gold?And fetch'd (s) _Pizarro_ from the (t) _Iberian_ Shoar,?To rob the Natives of their fatal Stoar.?I smil'd to hear my young Logician?Thus reason like a Politician;?Who ne're by Father's Pains and Earning?Had got at Mother _Cambridge_ Learning;?Where Lubber youth just free from birch?Most stoutly drink to prop the Church;?Nor with (u) _Grey Groat_ had taken Pains?To purge his Head and Cleanse his Reines:?And in obedience to the Colledge,?Had pleas'd himself with carnal knowledge:?And tho' I lik'd the youngster's Wit,?I judg'd the Truth he had not hit;?And could not chuse but smile to think?What they could do for Meat and Drink,?Who o'er so many Desarts ran?With Brats and Wives in _Caravan_;?Unless perchance they'd got the Trick,?To eat no more than Porker sick;?Or could with well contented Maws?Quarter like (v) Bears upon their Paws.?Thinking his Reasons to confute,?I gravely thus commenc'd Dispute,?And urged that tho' a _Chinese_ Host,?Might penetrate this _Indian_ Coast,?Yet this was certainly most true,?They never cou'd the Isles subdue;?For knowing not to steer a Boat,?They could not on the Ocean float,?Or plant their Sunburnt Colonies,?In Regions parted by the Seas;?I thence inferr'd (w) _Phoenicians_ old,?Discover'd first with Vessels bold?These Western Shoars, and planted here,?Returning once or twice a Year,?With _Naval Stoars_ and Lasses kind,?To comfort those were left behind;?Till by the Winds and Tempest toar,?From their intended Golden Shoar,?They suffer'd Ship-wreck, or were drown'd,?And lost the World so newly found.?But after long and learn'd Contention,?We could not finish our dissention;?And when that both had talk'd their fill,?We had the self same Notion still.?Thus Parson grave well read and Sage,?Does in dispute with Priest engage;?The one protests they are not Wise,?Who judge by (x) Sense and trust their Eyes;?And vows he'd burn for it at Stake,?That Man may God his Maker make;?The other smiles at his Religion,?And vows he's but a learned Widgeon:
And when they have empty'd all their Stoar?From Books or Fathers, are not more?Convinc'd or wiser than before.?Scarce had we finish'd serious Story,?But I espy'd the Town before me,?And roaring Planters on the ground,?Drinking of Healths in Circle round:?Dismounting Steed with friendly Guide,?Our Horses to a Tree we ty'd,?And forwards pass'd among the Rout,?To chuse convenient _Quarters_ out:?But being none were to be found,?We sat like others on the ground?Carousing Punch in open Air,?Till Cryer did the Court declare;?The planting Rabble being met?Their Drunken Worships likewise set;?Cryer proclaims that Noise shou'd cease?And streight the Lawyers broke the Peace:?Wrangling for Plantiff and Defendant,?I thought they ne'er wou'd make an end on't:?With nonsense, stuff and false quotations,?With brazen Lyes and Allegations;?And in the splitting of the Cause,?They used much Motions with their Paws,?As shew'd their Zeal was strongly bent,?In Blows to end the Argument.?A reverend Judge, who to the shame?Of all the Bench, cou'd write his (y) his Name;?At Petty-fogger took offence,?And wonder'd at his Impudence.?My Neighbour _Dash_ with scorn replies,?And in the Face of