The Sorrows of a Show Girl | Page 4

any prominent people,' and I guess
maybe he wasn't right. He got the number then all right, all right, and
he didn't have to speak harsh to Central at that. We gotta do something
to amuse ourselves, and I never had a traveling gentleman yet conduct
me to a watch meeting. A girl comes out of the stage door tired and
lonesome; some village cut-up prances out and gets acquainted; the girl
is hungry, so why not? Perhaps she is sending money home every week
and can't afford a little lunch after the show herself. No, that's no
taproom jest. There is more than one of the merry-merry putting her
little sister through school and don't you forget it for a minute. And he
gets sore because we stay up late nights. He'd better roll another pill,
get at the cause and then hang the curfew on a few of those town romps.
If he hands out another song and dance number like that again, send
him up to me, I'll give him a bunch of inside info that will make him
think something broke loose.
"I managed to slip in and see 'The Talk of New York' the other night.
Say, that's a great play. Did you get wise to the way that Kid Burns
party juggles the loose talk? I don't believe there ever was a party that
slings slang the way that guy does. My mother was always particular
about my bringing up, and if I ever passed out any of this George
Cohan style of repartee she would give me a slap on the map and tell
me to chase back and handle my harangue as per Mr. Webster. So,
though I have traveled about a bit, I still retain my pure English, even
when I lose my temper, which is going some for a lady.
"What am I going to do New Year's? I know one thing. I ain't going to
play an encore to the sozzle session number I pulled off last season.
Didn't you hear about it? Evidently you were not on Broadway last
New Year's Eve. A couple of young ladies and myself were playing a

progressive hell party all up and down the main street. You see, you
play it this way. A guy comes up and blows a horn in your ear. You
swat the horn quickly on the end with your hand. If the guy swallows
more than half the horn you win and are allowed to 'phone for the
ambulance. But that was only a prelude to the main event. Ah, me! I
blush to chronicle it. There were so many shows in town that the supply
of college students didn't come up to the demand, and as me and the
bunch had sorta turned them down after they went and lost all their
money on the Thanksgiving game, so we had an intimation that
developed into a hunch that our little 'welcome' mat on the doorstep
would not be crowded with an eager throng. We engaged a couple of
window tables at the Cafe des Beaux Minks realizing that though we
were not in the money we were still on the track. This was last New
Year's Eve. New Year's afternoon we held a reception up at Miss
Verneaque's flat, took up a collection for the widows and orphans and
cleared $4.43 apiece on it. The place got pinched and we all had to hide
on the roof until the cops beat it. But not for me this year. Me for the
peaceful kind of a celebration. I don't know what to do. The only
people I have on my calling list now are the agents, and they will all be
home splashing in the egg-nog.
"Gee, but I wish I was home. Was you ever in a country town on a New
Year's Day? Say, list. Sixty laughs in sixty minutes looks like a busy
day at the morgue compared to the laughs they hand out in one of those
one-night stand dumps. The Sons of Temperance all go out and get a
bun on ad lib. and everybody inhales good cheer. I sang in the choir.
Honest I did, but it didn't take. I got a silver cigarette case yet the
choirmaster gave me. But no home this year; me to the Cafe des
Enfants. What? Will I? Don't make such a foolish noise. I'll be there
with my hair in a braid. Two-thirty at Hector's. Say, you've got the
Good Samaritan looking like a rent collector. So long."

In which Sabrina discloses a little of her past and those of the members
of the company, tells how she was a bridesmaid and goes into detail in
regard to the benefit to humanity of having