The Sleeping-Car | Page 7

been making of
myself. The whole car was perfectly furious at me one time, I kept
talking so loud. I don't know how I came to do it, but I suppose it was

thinking about you and Willis meeting without knowing each other
made me nervous, and I couldn't be still. I woke everybody up with my
talking, and some of them were quite outrageous in their remarks; but I
didn't blame them the least bit, for I should have been just as bad. That
California gentleman was perfectly splendid, though. I can tell you he
made them stop. We struck up quite a friendship. I told him I had a
brother coming on from California, and he's going to try to think
whether he knows Willis. [Groans and inarticulate protests make
themselves heard from different berths.] I declare, I've got to talking
again! There, now, I shall stop, and they won't hear another squeak
from me the rest of the night. [She lifts her head from her husband's
shoulder.] I wonder if baby will roll out. He does kick so! And I just
sprang up and left him when I heard your voice, without putting
anything to keep him in. I must go and have a look at him, or I never
can settle down. No, no, don't you go, Edward; you'll be prying into all
the wrong berths in the car, you poor thing! You stay here, and I'll be
back in half a second. I wonder which is my berth. Ah! that's it; I know
the one now. [She makes a sudden dash at a berth, and pulling open the
curtains is confronted by the bearded visage of THE CALIFORNIAN.]
Ah! Ow! ow! Edward! Ah! I--I beg your pardon, sir; excuse me; I
didn't know it was you. I came for my baby.
THE CALIFORNIAN (solemnly). I haven't got any baby, ma'am.
MRS. ROBERTS. No--no--I thought you were my baby.
THE CALIFORNIAN. Perhaps I am, ma'am; I've lost so much sleep I
could cry, anyway. Do I look like your baby?
MRS. ROBERTS. No, no, you don't. [In distress that overcomes her
mortification.] Oh, where is my baby? I left him all uncovered, and
he'll take his death of cold, even if he doesn't roll out. Oh, Edward,
Edward, help me to find baby!
MR. ROBERTS (bustling aimlessly about). Yes, yes; certainly, my
dear. But don't be alarmed; we shall find him.
THE CALIFORNIAN (getting out in his stocking feet). We shall find
him, ma'am, if we have to search every berth in this car. Don't you take
on. That baby's going to be found if he's aboard the train, now, you bet!
[He looks about and then tears open the curtains of a berth at random.]
That your baby, ma'am?
MRS. ROBERTS (flying upon the infant thus exposed). Oh, baby, baby,

baby!! I thought I had lost you. Um! um! um!
[She clasps him in her arms, and covers his face and neck with kisses.]
THE CALIFORNIAN (as he gets back into his berth, sotto voce). I
wish I had been her baby.
MRS. ROBERTS (returning with her husband to his seat, and bringing
the baby with her). There! Did you ever see such a sleeper, Edward? [In
her ecstasy she abandons all control of her voice, and joyfully exclaims.]
He has slept all through this excitement, without a wink.
A solemn Voice from one of the berths. I envy him.
[A laugh follows, in which all the passengers join.]
MRS. ROBERTS (in a hoarse whisper, breaking a little with laughter).
Oh, my goodness! there I went again. But how funny! I assure you,
Edward, that if their remarks had not been about me, I could have really
quite enjoyed some of them. I wish there had been somebody here to
take them down. And I hope I shall see some of the speakers in the
morning before--Edward, I've got an idea!
MR. ROBERTS (endeavoring to teach his wife by example to lower
her voice, which has risen again). What--what is it, my dear?
MRS. ROBERTS. Why, don't you see? How perfectly ridiculous it was
of me not to think of it before! though I did think of it once, and hadn't
the courage to insist upon it. But of course it is; and it accounts for his
being so polite and kind to me through all, and it's the only thing that
can. Yes, yes, it must be.
MR. ROBERTS (mystified). What?
MRS. ROBERTS. Willis.
MR. ROBERTS. Who?
MRS. ROBERTS. This Californian.
MR. ROBERTS. Oh!
MRS. ROBERTS. No stranger could have been so patient
and--and--attentive; and I know that he recognized me from the first,
and he's just kept it up for a joke, so as to surprise us and have a good
laugh at us when