The Sleeping-Car | Page 2

could I be away!
and why _couldn't_ Willis have given us fair warning? I would have
hurried from the ends of the earth to meet him. I don't believe poor
Edward ever saw a Californian; and he's so quiet and preoccupied, I'm
sure he'd never get on with Willis. And if Willis is the least loud, he
wouldn't like Edward. Not that I suppose he is loud; but I don't believe
he knows anything about literary men. But you can see, aunty, can't
you, how very anxious I must be? Don't you see that I ought to have
been there when Willis and Edward met, so as to--to--well, to break
them to each other, don't you know?
AUNT MARY. Oh, you needn't be troubled about that, Agnes. I dare
say they've got on perfectly well together. Very likely they're sitting
down to the unwholesomest hot supper this instant that the ingenuity of
man could invent.
MRS. ROBERTS. Oh, do you think they are, aunty? Oh, if I could only
believe they were sitting down to a hot supper together now, I should
be so happy! They'd be sure to get on if they were. There's nothing like
eating to make men friendly with each other. Don't you know, at
receptions, how they never have anything to say to each other till the
escalloped oysters and the chicken salad appear; and then how sweet
they are as soon as they've helped the ladies to ice? Oh, thank you,
thank you, aunty, for thinking of the hot supper. It's such a relief to my
mind! You can understand, can't you, aunty dear, how anxious I must
have been to have my only brother and my only--my husband--get on
nicely together? My life would be a wreck, simply a wreck, if they
didn't. And Willis and I not having seen each other since I was a child

makes it all the worse. I do hope they're sitting down to a hot supper.
AN ANGRY VOICE from the next berth but one. I wish people in
sleeping- cars--
A VOICE from the berth beyond that. You're mistaken in your
premises, sir. This is a waking-car. Ladies, go on, and oblige an eager
listener.
[Sensation, and smothered laughter from the other berths.]
MRS. ROBERTS (after a space of terrified silence, in a loud whisper to
her AUNT.) What horrid things! But now we really must go to bed. It
was too bad to keep talking. I'd no idea my voice was getting so loud.
Which berth will you have, aunty? I'd better take the upper one,
because--
AUNT MARY (whispering). No, no; I must take that, so that you can
be with the baby below.
MRS. ROBERTS. Oh, how good you are, Aunt Mary! It's too bad; it is
really. I can't let you.
AUNT MARY. Well, then, you must; that's all. You know how that
child tosses and kicks about in the night. You never can tell where his
head's going to be in the morning, but you'll probably find it at the foot
of the bed. I couldn't sleep an instant, my dear, if I thought that boy was
in the upper berth; for I'd be sure of his tumbling out over you. Here, let
me lay him down. [She lays the baby in the lower berth.] There! Now
get in, Agnes--do, and leave me to my struggle with the attraction of
gravitation.
MRS. ROBERTS. Oh, poor aunty, how will you ever manage it? I must
help you up.
AUNT MARY. No, my dear; don't be foolish. But you may go and call
the porter, if you like. I dare say he's used to it.
[MRS. ROBERTS goes and speak timidly to THE PORTER, who fails
at first to understand, then smiles broadly, accepts a quarter with a duck
of his head, and comes forward to AUNT MARY'S side.]
MRS. ROBERTS. Had he better give you his hand to rest your foot in,
while you spring up as if you were mounting horseback?
AUNT MARY (with disdain). Spring! My dear, I haven't sprung for a
quarter of a century. I shall require every fibre in the man's body. His
hand, indeed! You get in first, Agnes.
MRS. ROBERTS. I will, aunty dear; but--

AUNT MARY (sternly). Agnes, do as I say. [MRS. ROBERTS
crouches down on the lower berth.] I don't choose that any member of
my family shall witness my contortions. Don't you look.
MRS. ROBERTS. No, no, aunty.
AUNT MARY. Now, porter, are you strong?
PORTER. I used to be porter at a Saratoga hotel, and carried up de
ladies' trunks dere.
AUNT MARY. Then you'll do, I think. Now, then, your knee; now
your back. There! And very handsomely done. Thanks.
MRS. ROBERTS. Are you really in, Aunt Mary?
AUNT MARY (dryly).