The Scornful Lady | Page 4

a nights lodging.
Abi. I will commend this message to her; but if you aim at her body, you will be deluded: other women of the household of good carriage and government; upon any of which if you can cast your affection, they will perhaps be found as faithfull and not so coy. [Exit Younglove.
Wel. What a skin full of lust is this? I thought I had come a wooing, and I am the courted partie. This is right Court fashion: Men, Women, and all woo, catch that catch may. If this soft hearted woman have infused any of her tenderness into her Lady, there is hope she will be plyant. But who's here?
Enter Sir Roger the Curate.
Roger. Gad save you Sir. My Lady lets you know she desires to be acquainted with your name, before she confer with you?
Wel. Sir, my name calls me Welford.
Roger. Sir, you are a Gentleman of a good name. I'le try his wit.
Wel. I will uphold it as good as any of my Ancestors had this two hundred years Sir.
Roger. I knew a worshipfull and a Religious Gentleman of your name in the Bishoprick of Durham. Call you him Cousen?
Wel. I am only allyed to his vertues Sir.
Roger. It is modestly said: I should carry the badge of your Christianity with me too.
Wel. What's that, a Cross? there's a tester.
Roger. I mean the name which your God-fathers and God-mothers gave you at the Font.
Wel. 'Tis Harry: but you cannot proceed orderly now in your Catechism: for you have told me who gave me that name. Shall I beg your name?
Roger. Roger.
Wel. What room fill you in this house?
Roger. More rooms than one.
Wel. The more the merrier: but may my boldness know, why your Lady hath sent you to decypher my name?
Roger. Her own words were these: To know whether you were a formerly denyed Suitor, disguised in this message: for I can assure you she delights not in Thalame: Hymen and she are at variance, I shall return with much hast. [Exit Roger.
Wel. And much speed Sir, I hope: certainly I am arrived amongst a Nation of new found fools, on a Land where no Navigator has yet planted wit; if I had foreseen it, I would have laded my breeches with bells, knives, copper, and glasses, to trade with women for their virginities: yet I fear, I should have betrayed my self to a needless charge then: here's the walking night-cap again.
Enter Roger.
Roger. Sir, my Ladies pleasure is to see you: who hath commanded me to acknowledge her sorrow, that you must take the pains to come up for so bad entertainment.
Wel. I shall obey your Lady that sent it, and acknowledge you that brought it to be your Arts Master.
Rog. I am but a Batchelor of Art, Sir; and I have the mending of all under this roof, from my Lady on her down-bed, to the maid in the Pease-straw.
Wel. A Cobler, Sir?
Roger. No Sir, I inculcate Divine Service within these Walls.
Wel. But the Inhabitants of this house do often imploy you on errands without any scruple of Conscience.
Rog. Yes, I do take the air many mornings on foot, three or four miles for eggs: but why move you that?
Wel. To know whether it might become your function to bid my man to neglect his horse a little to attend on me.
Roger. Most properly Sir.
Wel. I pray you doe so then: the whilst I will attend your Lady. You direct all this house in the true way?
Roger. I doe Sir.
Wel. And this door I hope conducts to your Lady?
Rog. Your understanding is ingenious. [Ex. severally.
Enter young Loveless and Savil, with a writing.
Sa. By your favour Sir, you shall pardon me?
Yo. Lo. I shall bear your favour Sir, cross me no more; I say they shall come in.
Savil. Sir, you forget who I am?
Yo. Lo. Sir, I do not; thou art my Brothers Steward, his cast off mill-money, his Kitchen Arithmetick.
Sa. Sir, I hope you will not make so little of me?
Yo. Lo. I make thee not so little as thou art: for indeed there goes no more to the making of a Steward, but a fair Imprimis, and then a reasonable Item infus'd into him, and the thing is done.
Sa. Nay then you stir my duty, and I must tell you?
Young Lo. What wouldst thou tell me, how Hopps grow, or hold some rotten discourse of Sheep, or when our Lady-day falls? Prethee farewel, and entertain my friends, be drunk and burn thy Table-books: and my dear spark of velvet, thou and I.
Sa. Good Sir remember?
Young Lo. I do remember thee a foolish fellow, one that did put his trust in Almanacks, and Horse-fairs, and rose by Hony and Pot-butter. Shall they come in yet?
Sa. Nay then I must unfold your Brothers pleasure,