The School for Husbands | Page 9

you that his name is Valère?
ISA. Yes.
SGAN. That will do; do not make yourself uneasy about it. Go inside,
and leave me to act. I am going at once to talk to this young madcap.
ISA. (_As she goes in_). For a girl, I am planning a pretty bold scheme.
But the unreasonable severity with which I am treated will be my
excuse to every right mind.

SCENE II.--SGANARELLE, alone.
(_Knocks at the door of Valère's house_). Let us lose no time; here it is.
Who's there? Why, I am dreaming! Hulloa, I say! hulloa somebody!
hulloa! I do not wonder, after this information, that he came up to me
just now so meekly. But I must make haste, and teach this foolish
aspirant...

SCENE III.--VALÈRE, SGANARELLE, ERGASTE.
SGAN. (_To Ergaste, who has come out hastily_). A plague on the
lubberly ox! Do you mean to knock me down--coming and sticking
yourself in front of me like a post?

VAL. Sir, I regret...
SGAN. Ah! you are the man I want.
VAL. I, sir?
SGAN. You. Your name is Valère, is it not?
VAL. Yes.
SGAN. I am come to speak to you if you will allow me.
VAL. Can I have the happiness of rendering you any service?
SGAN. No; but I propose to do you a good turn. That is what brings me
to your house.
VAL. To my house, sir!
SGAN. To your house. Need you be so much astonished?
VAL. I have good reason for it; I am delighted with the honour...
SGAN. Do not mention the honour, I beseech you.
VAL. Will you not come in?
SGAN. There is no need.
VAL. I pray you, enter.
SGAN. No, I will go no further.
VAL. As long as you stay there I cannot listen to you.
SGAN. I will not budge.
VAL. Well, I must yield. Quick, since this gentleman is resolved upon
it, bring a chair.
SGAN. I am going to talk standing.
VAL. As if I could permit such a thing!
SGAN. What an intolerable delay!
VAL. Such incivility would be quite unpardonable.
SGAN. Nothing can be so rude as not to listen to people who wish to
speak to us.
VAL. I obey you, then.
SGAN. You cannot do better. (_They make many compliments about
putting on their hats_). So much ceremony is hardly necessary. Will
you listen to me?
VAL. Undoubtedly, and most willingly.
SGAN. Tell me: do you know that I am guardian to a tolerably young
and passably handsome girl who lives in this neighbourhood, and
whose name is Isabella?
VAL. Yes.
SGAN. As you know it, I need not tell it to you. But do you know,

likewise, that as I find her charming, I care for her otherwise than as a
guardian, and that she is destined for the honour of being my wife?
VAL. No!
SGAN. I tell it you, then; and also that it is as well that your passion, if
you please, should leave her in peace.
VAL. Who?--I, sir?
SGAN. Yes, you. Let us have no dissembling.
VAL. Who has told you that my heart is smitten by her?
SGAN. Those who are worthy of belief.
VAL. Be more explicit.
SGAN. She herself.
VAL. She!
SGAN. She. Is not that enough? Like a virtuous young girl, who has
loved me from childhood, she told me all just now; moreover, she
charged me to tell you, that, since she has everywhere been followed by
you, her heart, which your pursuit greatly offends, has only too well
understood the language of your eyes; that your secret desires are well
known to her; and that to try more fully to explain a passion which is
contrary to the affection she entertains for me, is to give yourself
needless trouble.
VAL. She, you say, of her own accord, makes you...
SGAN. Yes, makes me come to you and give you this frank and plain
message; also, that, having observed the violent love wherewith your
soul is smitten, she would earlier have let you know what she thinks
about you if, perplexed as she was, she could have found anyone to
send this message by; but that at length she was painfully compelled to
make use of me, in order to assure you, as I have told you, that her
affection is denied to all save me; that you have been ogling her long
enough; and that, if you have ever so little brains, you will carry your
passion somewhere else. Farewell, till our next meeting. That is what I
had to tell you.
VAL. (_Aside_). Ergaste, what say you to such an adventure?
SGAN. (_Aside, retiring_). See how he is taken aback!
ERG. (_In a low tone to Valère_). For my part, I think that there