The School for Husbands | Page 7

Yes.
SGAN. I do not know.
AR. Is there anything in it that offends honour?
SGAN. Why, if you marry her, she may demand the same freedom which she enjoyed as a girl?
AR. Why not?
SGAN. And you so far agree with her as to let her have patches and ribbons?
AR. Doubtless.
SGAN. To let her gad about madly at every ball and public assembly?
AR. Yes, certainly.
SGAN. And the beaux will visit at your house?
AR. What then?
SGAN. Who will junket and give entertainments?
AR. With all my heart.
SGAN. And your wife is to listen to their fine speeches?
AR. Exactly.
SGAN. And you will look on at these gallant visitors with a show of indifference?
AR. Of course.
SGAN. Go on, you old idiot. (_To Isabella_). Get indoors, and hear no more of this shameful doctrine.

SCENE III.--ARISTE, SGANARELLE, L��ONOR, LISETTE.
AR. I mean to trust to the faithfulness of my wife, and intend always to live as I have lived.
SGAN. How pleased I shall be to see him victimized!
AR. I cannot say what fate has in store for me; but as for you, I know that if you fail to be so, it is no fault of yours, for you are doing everything to bring it about.
SGAN. Laugh on, giggler! Oh, what a joke it is to see a railer of nearly sixty!
LEO. I promise to preserve him against the fate you speak of, if he is to receive my vows at the altar. He may rest secure; but I can tell you I would pass my word for nothing if I were your wife.
LIS. We have a conscience for those who rely on us; but it is delightful, really, to cheat such folks as you.
SGAN. Hush, you cursed ill-bred tongue!
AR. Brother, you drew these silly words on yourself. Good bye. Alter your temper, and be warned that to shut up a wife is a bad plan. Your servant.
SGAN. I am not yours.

SCENE IV.--SGANARELLE, alone.
Oh, they are all well suited to one another! What an admirable family. A foolish old man with a worn-out body who plays the fop; a girl-mistress and a thorough coquette; impudent servants;--no, wisdom itself could not succeed, but would exhaust sense and reason, trying to amend a household like this. By such associations, Isabella might lose those principles of honour which she learned amongst us; to prevent it, I shall presently send her back again to my cabbages and turkeys.

SCENE V.--VAL��RE, SGANARELLE, ERGASTE.
VAL. (_Behind_). Ergaste, that is he, the Argus whom I hate, the stern guardian of her whom I adore.
SGAN. (_Thinking himself alone_). In short, is there not something wonderful in the corruption of manners now-a-days?
VAL. I should like to address him, if I can get a chance, and try to strike up an acquaintance with him.
SGAN. (_Thinking himself alone_). Instead of seeing that severity prevail which so admirably formed virtue in other days, uncontrolled and imperious youth here-about assumes... (_Val��re bows to Sganarelle from a distance_).
VAL. He does not see that we bow to him.
ERG. Perhaps his blind eye is on this side. Let us cross to the right.
SGAN. I must go away from this place. Life in town only produces in me...
VAL. (_Gradually approaching_). I must try to get an introduction.
SGAN. (_Hearing a noise_). Ha! I thought some one spoke... (_Thinking himself alone_). In the country, thank Heaven, the fashionable follies do not offend my eyes.
ERG. (_To Val��re_). Speak to him.
SGAN. What is it?... my ears tingle... There, all the recreations of our girls are but... (_He perceives Val��re bowing to him_). Do you bow to me?
ERG. (_To Val��re_). Go up to him.
SGAN. (_Not attending to Val��re_). Thither no coxcomb comes. (_Val��re again bows to him_). What the deuce!... (_He turns and sees Ergaste bowing on the other side_). Another? What a great many bows!
VAL. Sir, my accosting you disturbs you, I fear?
SGAN. That may be.
VAL. But yet the honour of your acquaintance is so great a happiness, so exquisite a pleasure, that I had a great desire to pay my respects to you.
SGAN. Well.
VAL. And to come and assure you, without any deceit, that I am wholly at your service.
SGAN. I believe it.
VAL. I have the advantage of being one of your neighbours, for which I thank my lucky fate.
SGAN. That is all right.
VAL. But, sir. do you know the news going the round at Court, and thought to be reliable?
SGAN. What does it matter to me?
VAL. True; but we may sometimes be anxious to hear it? Shall you go and see the magnificent preparations for the birth of our Dauphin, sir?
[Footnote: The Dauphin, the son of Louis XIV. was born at Fontainebleau, on the 1st of November, 1661; The School for Husbands was first acted on the 24th of June of the same year; hence Moli��re ventures to prophesy about the Dauphin's birth.]
SGAN. If I feel inclined.
VAL. Confess that Paris affords