The Sad Shepherd | Page 5

live, and the pride of life was strong in my heart and in my flesh.
My vow was offered to that well-known god. I served him in Jerusalem,
in Alexandria, in Rome, for his altars are everywhere and men worship
him openly or in secret.
"My money and youth made me welcome to his followers, and I spent
them both freely as if they could never come to an end. I clothed myself
in purple and fine linen and fared sumptuously every day. The wine of
Cyprus and the dishes of Egypt and Syria were on my table. My
dwelling was crowded with merry guests. They came for what I gave
them. Their faces were hungry and their soft touch was like the clinging
of leeches. To them I was nothing but money and youth; no longer a
beast of burden-a beast of pleasure. There was nothing in it.
"From the richest fare my heart went away empty, and after the wildest
banquet my soul fell drunk and solitary into sleep.
"Then I thought, Power is better than pleasure. If a man will feast and
revel let him do it with the great. They will favor him, and raise him up
for the service that he renders them. He will obtain place and authority
in the world and gain many friends. So I joined myself to Herod."
When the sad shepherd spoke this name his listeners drew back front
him as if it were a defilement to hear it. They spat upon the ground and
cursed the Idumean who called himself their king.
"A slave!" Jotham cried, "a bloody tyrant and a slave from Edom! A
fox, a vile beast who devours his own children! God burn him in
Gehenna."
The old Zadok picked up a stone and threw it into the darkness, saying
slowly, "I cast this stone on the grave of the Idumean, the blasphemer,
the defiler of the Temple! God send us soon the Deliverer, the
Promised One, the true King of Israel!" Ammiel made no sign, but
went on with his story.
"Herod used me well,-for his own purpose. He welcomed me to his
palace and his table, and gave me a place among his favorites. He was
so much my friend that he borrowed my money. There were many of
the nobles of Jerusalem with him, Sadducees, and proselytes from
Rome and Asia, and women from everywhere. The law of Israel was

observed in the open court, when the people were watching. But in the
secret feasts there was no law but the will of Herod, and many deities
were served but no god was worshipped. There the captains and the
princes of Rome consorted with the high-priest and his sons by night;
and there was much coming and going by hidden ways. Everybody was
a borrower or a lender, a buyer or a seller of favors. It was a house of
diligent madness. There was nothing in it.
"In the midst of this whirling life a great need of love came upon me
and I wished to hold some one in my inmost heart.
"At a certain place in the city, within closed doors, I saw a young
slave-girl dancing. She was about fifteen years old, thin and supple; she
danced like a reed in the wind; but her eyes were weary as death, and
her white body was marked with bruises. She stumbled, and the men
laughed at her. She fell, and her mistress beat her, crying out that she
would fain be rid of such a heavy-footed slave. I paid the price and took
her to my dwelling.
"Her name was Tamar. She was a daughter of Lebanon. I robed her in
silk and broidered linen. I nourished her with tender care so that beauty
came upon her like the blossoming of an almond tree; she was a garden
enclosed, breathing spices. Her eyes were like doves behind her veil,
her lips were a thread of scarlet, her neck was a tower of ivory, and her
breasts were as two fawns which feed among the lilies. She was whiter
than milk, and more rosy than the flower of the peach, and her dancing
was like the flight of a bird among the branches. So I loved her.
"She lay in my bosom as a clear stone that one has bought and polished
and set in fine gold at the end of a golden chain. Never was she glad at
my coming or sorry at my going. Never did she give me anything
except what I took from her. There was nothing in it.
"Now whether Herod knew of the jewel that I kept in my dwelling I
cannot tell. It was sure that he had his spies in all the city, and himself