The Robbers | Page 9

Ha, ha, ha!
SPIEGEL. (drinks). Read Josephus, I tell you.
CHARLES VON M. Fie! fie upon this weak, effeminate age, fit for
nothing but to ponder over the deeds of former times, and torture the
heroes of antiquity with commentaries, or mangle them in tragedies.
The vigor of its loins is dried up, and the propagation of the human
species has become dependent on potations of malt liquor.
SPIEGEL. Tea, brother! tea!
CHARLES VON M. They curb honest nature with absurd
conventionalities; have scarcely the heart to charge a glass, because
they are tasked to drink a health in it; fawn upon the lackey that he may
put in a word for them with His Grace, and bully the unfortunate wight
from whom they have nothing to fear. They worship any one for a
dinner, and are just as ready to poison him should he chance to outbid
them for a feather-bed at an auction. They damn the Sadducee who fails
to come regularly to church, although their own devotion consists in
reckoning up their usurious gains at the very altar. They cast
themselves on their knees that they may have an opportunity of
displaying their mantles, and hardly take their eyes off the parson from

their anxiety to see how his wig is frizzled. They swoon at the sight of a
bleeding goose, yet clap their hands with joy when they see their rival
driven bankrupt from the Exchange. Warmly as I pressed their
hands,--"Only one more day." In vain! To prison with the dog!
Entreaties! Vows! Tears! (stamping the ground). Hell and the devil!
SPIEGEL. And all for a few thousand paltry ducats!
CHARLES VON M. No, I hate to think of it. Am I to squeeze my body
into stays, and straight-lace my will in the trammels of law. What might
have risen to an eagle's flight has been reduced to a snail's pace by law.
Never yet has law formed a great man; 'tis liberty that breeds giants and
heroes. Oh! that the spirit of Herman* still glowed in his ashes!
*[Herman is the German for Armin or Arminius, the celebrated
deliverer of Germany from the Roman yoke. See Menzel's History, vol.
i., p. 85, etc.]
Set me at the head of an army of fellows like myself, and out of
Germany shall spring a republic compared to which Rome and Sparta
will be but as nunneries. (Rises and flings his sword upon the table.)
SPIEGEL. (jumping up). Bravo! Bravissimo! you are coming to the
right key now. I have something for your ear, Moor, which has long
been on my mind, and you are the very man for it--drink, brother, drink!
What if we turned Jews and brought the kingdom of Jerusalem again on
the tapis? But tell me is it not a clever scheme? We send forth a
manifesto to the four quarters of the world, and summon to Palestine all
that do not eat Swineflesh. Then I prove by incontestable documents
that Herod the Tetrarch was my direct ancestor, and so forth. There will
be a victory, my fine fellow, when they return and are restored to their
lands, and are able to rebuild Jerusalem. Then make a clean sweep of
the Turks out of Asia while the iron is hot, hew cedars in Lebanon,
build ships, and then the whole nation shall chaffer with old clothes and
old lace throughout the world. Meanwhile--
CHARLES VON M. (smiles and takes him by the hand). Comrade!
There must be an end now of our fooleries.

SPIEGEL. (with surprise). Fie! you are not going to play the prodigal
son!--a fellow like you who with his sword has scratched more
hieroglyhics on other men's faces than three quill-drivers could inscribe
in their daybooks in a leap-year! Shall I tell you the story of the great
dog funeral? Ha! I must just bring back your own picture to your mind;
that will kindle fire in your veins, if nothing else has power to inspire
you. Do you remember how the heads of the college caused your dog's
leg to be shot off, and you, by way of revenge, proclaimed a fast
through the whole town? They fumed and fretted at your edict. But you,
without losing time, ordered all the meat to be bought up in Leipsic, so
that in the course of eight hours there was not a bone left to pick all
over the place, and even fish began to rise in price. The magistrates and
the town council vowed vengeance. But we students turned out lustily,
seventeen hundred of us, with you at our head, and butchers and tailors
and haberdashers at our backs, besides publicans, barbers, and rabble of
all sorts, swearing that the town should be sacked if a single hair of a
student's