The Reminiscences Of Sir Henry Hawkins (Baron Brampton) | Page 4

at the
outrage, rose, and was immediately knocked down by the interloper,
and in falling cut his head.
There was to my untutored mind no defence, but the accused was a
man of remarkable cunning and not a little ingenuity. He knew the
magistrate well, and his special weakness, which was vanity. By his
knowledge the man completely outwitted his adversary, and shifted the

charge from himself on to the prosecutor's shoulders. The curious thing
was he cross-examined the reverend chairman instead of the witness,
which I thought a master-stroke of policy, if not advocacy.
"You know this public-house, sir?" he asked.
The reverend gentleman nodded.
"I put it to yourself, sir, as a gentleman: how would you have liked it if
another man had come to your house and drunk your beer?"
There was no necessity to give an answer to this question. It answered
itself. The reverend gentleman would not have liked it, and, seeing this,
the accused continued,--
"Well, your honour, this here man comes and takes my beer.
"'Halloa, Jack!' I ses, 'no more o' that.'
"'No,' he says, 'there's no more; it's all gone.'
"'Stop a bit," says I; 'that wun't do, nuther.'
"'That wun't do?' he says. 'Wool that do?' and he ups with the jug and
hits me a smack in the mouth, and down I goes clean on the floor; he
then falls atop of me and right on the pot he held in his hand, which
broke with his fall, bein' a earthenware jug, and cuts his head, and
'Sarve him right,' I hopes your honour'll say; and the proof of which
statement is, sir, that there's the cut o' that jug on his forehead plainly
visible for anybody to see at this present moment. Now, sir, what next?
for there's summat else.
"'Jack,' says I, 'I'll summon you for this assault.'
"'Yes,' he says, 'and so'll I; I'll have ee afore his Worship Mr. Knox.'
"'Afore his Worship Mr. Knox?' says I. 'And why not afore his Worship
the Rev. Mr. Hull? He's the gentleman for my money--a real gentleman
as'll hear reason, and do justice atween man and man.'

"'What!' says Jack, with an oath that I ain't going to repeat afore a
clergyman--'what!' he says, 'a d--d old dromedary like that!'
"'Dromedary, sir,' meaning your worship! Did anybody ever hear such
wile words against a clergyman, let alone a magistrate, sir? And he then
has the cheek to come here and ask you to believe him. 'Old
dromedary!' says he--' a d--d old dromedary.'"
Mr. Hull, the reverend chairman, was naturally very indignant, not that
he minded on his own account, as he said--that was of no
consequence--but a man who could use such foul language was not to
be believed on his oath. He therefore dismissed the summons, and
ordered the prosecutor to pay the costs.
I think both my father and uncle still nursed the idea that I was to
become the good old-fashioned county attorney, for they perpetually
rang in my ears the praises of "our Bench" and "our chairman," out
Bench being by far the biggest thing in Hertfordshire, except when a
couple of notables came down to contest the heavy-weight
championship or some other noble prize.
For myself, I can truly say I had no ambition at this time beyond
earning my bread, for I pretty well knew I had to trust entirely to my
own exertions. The fortunate have many friends, and it is just the
fortunate who are best without them. I had none, and desired none, if
they were to advise me against my inclinations. My term being now
expired, for I loyally pursued my studies to the bitter end, my mind was
made up, ambition or no ambition, for the Bar or the Stage.
Like most young men, I loved acting, and quite believed I would
succeed. My passion for the stage was encouraged by an old
schoolfellow of my father's when he was at Rugby, for whom I had, as
a boy, a great admiration. I forget whether in after-life I retained it, for
we drifted apart, and our divergent ways continued their course without
our meeting again.
Any worse decision, so far as my friends were concerned, could not be
conceived. They both remonstrated solemnly, and were deeply touched

with what they saw was my impending ruin, especially the ruin of their
hopes. In vain, however, did they attempt to persuade me; my mind
was as fixed as the mind of two-and-twenty can be. Having warned me
in terms of severity, they now addressed me in the language of
affection, and asked how I could be so headstrong and foolish as to
attempt the Bar, at which it was clear that I could only succeed after
working about twenty years