The Red Eric | Page 2

mark my words, if you will. I've not sailed the ocean for
thirty years for nothing. I've seen men in hot seas and in cold--on grog,
and on tea--and I know that coffee and tea carry men through the
hardest work better than grog. I also know that there's a set o' men in
this world who look upon teetotalers as very soft chaps--old wives, in
fact. Very good," (here the captain waxed emphatic, and struck his fist
on the table.) "Now look here, young man, I'm an old wife, and my
ship's manned by similar old ladies; so you won't suit."
To this the seaman made no reply, but feeling doubtless, as he regarded
the masculine specimen before him, that he would be quite out of his
element among such a crew of females, he thrust a quid of tobacco into
his cheek, put on his hat, turned on his heel and left the room, shutting
the door after him with a bang.
He had scarcely left when a tap at the door announced a second visitor.
"Hum! Another `tail,' I suppose. Come in."
If the new-comer was a "tail," he was decidedly a long one, being six
feet three in his stockings at the very least.
"You wants a cook, I b'lieve?" said the man, pulling off his hat.
"I do. Are you one?"
"Yes, I jist guess I am. Bin a cook for fifteen year."
"Been to sea as a cook?" inquired the captain.
"I jist have. Once to the South Seas, twice to the North, an' once round
the world. Cook all the time. I've roasted, and stewed, and grilled, and
fried, and biled, right round the 'arth, I have."

Being apparently satisfied with the man's account of himself, Captain
Dunning put to him the question--"Do you drink?"
"Ay, like a fish; for I drinks nothin' but water, I don't. Bin born and
raised in the State of Maine, d'ye see, an' never tasted a drop all my
life."
"Very good," said the captain, who plumed himself on being a clever
physiognomist, and had already formed a good opinion of the man. "Do
you ever swear?"
"Never, but when I can't help it."
"And when's that?"
"When I'm fit to bu'st."
"Then," replied the captain, "you must learn to bu'st without swearin',
'cause I don't allow it aboard my ship."
The man evidently regarded his questioner as a very extraordinary and
eccentric individual; but he merely replied, "I'll try;" and after a little
further conversation an agreement was come to; the man was sent away
with orders to repair on board immediately, as everything was in
readiness to "up anchor and away next morning."
Having thus satisfactorily and effectually disposed of the "tail," Captain
Dunning put on his hat very much on the back of his head, knit his
brows, and pursed his lips firmly, as if he had still some important duty
to perform; then, quitting the hotel, he traversed the streets of the town
with rapid strides.
CHAPTER TWO.
IMPORTANT PERSONAGES ARE INTRODUCED TO THE
READER--THE CAPTAIN MAKES INSANE RESOLUTIONS,
FIGHTS A BATTLE, AND CONQUERS.

In the centre of the town whose name we have declined to
communicate, there stood a house--a small house--so small that it
might have been more appropriately, perhaps, styled a cottage. This
house had a yellow-painted face, with a green door in the middle,
which might have been regarded as its nose, and a window on each side
thereof, which might have been considered its eyes. Its nose was, as we
have said, painted green, and its eyes had green Venetian eyelids,
which were half shut at the moment Captain Dunning walked up to it as
if it were calmly contemplating that seaman's general appearance.
There was a small garden in front of the house, surrounded on three
sides by a low fence. Captain Dunning pushed open the little gate,
walked up to the nose of the house, and hit it several severe blows with
his knuckles. The result was that the nose opened, and a servant-girl
appeared in the gap.
"Is your mistress at home?" inquired the captain.
"Guess she is--both of 'em!" replied the girl.
"Tell both of 'em I'm here, then," said the captain, stepping into the
little parlour without further ceremony; "and is my little girl in?"
"Yes, she's in."
"Then send her here too, an' look alive, lass." So saying, Captain
Dunning sat down on the sofa, and began to beat the floor with his right
foot somewhat impatiently.
In another second a merry little voice was heard in the passage, the
door burst open, a fair-haired girl of about ten years of age sprang into
the room, and immediately commenced to strangle her father in a series
of violent embraces.
"Why, Ailie, my darling, one