The Real Diary of a Real Boy | Page 4

your seat, i wont lick neether of you. anyway i knew that Cawcaw wood tell on me, and so i told old Francis i hit Cawcaw first, and old Francis said Harry i have had my eye on you for a long time, and he jest took us up and slammed us together, and then he wood put me down and shake Cawcaw and then he wood put Cawcaw down and shake me till my head wabbled and he turned me upside down and all the fellers looked upside down and went round and round and somehow i felt silly like and kind of like laffin. i dident want to laff but coodent help it. and then he talked to us and sent us to our seats and told us to study, and i tried to but all the words in the book went round and round and i felt awful funny and kind of wabbly, and when i went home mother said something was the matter and i told her and then i cried, i don't know what i cried for, becaus i dident ake any. father said he wood lick me at home when i got licked at school and perhaps that was why i cried. ennyway when father come home i asked him if he was a going to lick me and he said not by a dam sight, and he gave me ten cents and when i went to bed i got laffin and crying all to once, and coodent stop, and mother set in my room and kept her hand on my forred until i went to sleep. i drempt i was fiting all the time. when i get big enuf there is going to be a fite between me and old Francis, you see if there aint.
Jan. 2, Me and Beany has made up. i told him i had ten cents and then he dident feel so big about his new shirt. ennyway we went down to Si Smiths and got a dozen goozeberries and then went down to doctor Derborns and got a glass of sody water and took turns drinking it and seeing which cood gulp the loudest. Beany beat.
Jan. 3. brite and fair. Went down to Pewts tonite to make hayseed cigars. We made 5 kinds, hayseed, sweet firn, cornsilk, mullin leeves, and grape vine. my mouth taisted aufuly all nite.
Jan. 4. brite and fair. Pewt dident come to school today. i gess he was sick. my mouth taisted aufuly all day.
Jan. 5. clowdy and aufuly cold. Pewt came to school today and got a licking for puting gum on Nigger Bells seat. Nig set in it til it dride and then tride to get up and coodent. then old Francis come down the ile and snaiked Nigger out and when he see the gum he asked us who put it there. we all said we dident, but he licked Pewt becaus he had seen Pewt chooing gum.
Jan. 6. it snowed last nite and today. Speaking in school today. i spoke the berrial of sir John More. old Francis said he never heard ennything wirse in his life. i hope he wont tell father. this afternoon we pluged stewdcats.
Jan. 7. Ed Towle has got a gote. the fellers stumped me to hold him by the horns and he buted me over in the slosh. mother said i had no bisiness to be playing on sunday.
Jan. 8. brite and fair. there is going to be a nigger show in the town hall tonite. father says i cant go becaus i sassed aunt Sarah. it is uncle Toms cabbin.
Jan. 9. brite and fair. Beany went to the nigger show. he led one of the bludhouns in the prosession and got a ticket. Beany had on a red coat jest like the dogs. he said it was buly.
Jan. 10. rany. Nipper Brown is the best scolar in my class. i am the wirst. i can lick Nipper easy.
Jan. 11. brite and fair. After school me and Beany and Pewt and Fatty Melcher and Pozzy Chadwick and lots of fellers went skating on fresh river. i was skating backwerd and i got one leg in a eal hole, gosh the water was cold and before i got home my britches leg was all froze.
Jan. 12. nobody got licked in school today, gess why, becaus there wassent enny school. old Francis was sick, i went skating.
Jan. 13. brite and -- no it was rany. had a speling mach today in school. Cele and Genny Morrison staid up til the last and then Cele missed and set down balling, and Genny beat. i cant stop to wright enny more becaus i am going to the levee with father.
Jan. 14, 186- Went to a big levee last nite