The Rambler, Vol. II | Page 9

live by my learning; for,
indeed, he had known very few students that had not some stiffness in
their manner. They, therefore, agreed, that a domestick tutor should be
procured, and hired an honest gentleman of mean conversation and
narrow sentiments, but whom, having passed the common forms of
literary education, they implicitly concluded qualified to teach all that
was to be learned from a scholar. He thought himself sufficiently
exalted by being placed at the same table with his pupil, and had no
other view than to perpetuate his felicity by the utmost flexibility of
submission to all my mother's opinions and caprices. He frequently
took away my book, lest I should mope with too much application,
charged me never to write without turning up my ruffles, and generally
brushed my coat before he dismissed me into the parlour. He had no
occasion to complain of too burdensome an employment: for my
mother very judiciously considered, that I was not likely to grow politer
in his company, and suffered me not to pass any more time in his
apartment than my lesson required. When I was summoned to my task,
she enjoined me not to get any of my tutor's ways, who was seldom
mentioned before me but for practices to be avoided. I was every
moment admonished not to lean on my chair, cross my legs, or swing
my hands like my tutor; and once my mother very seriously deliberated
upon his total dismission, because I began, she said, to learn his manner
of sticking on my hat, and had his bend in my shoulders, and his totter
in my gait.
Such, however, was her care, that I escaped all these depravities; and
when I was only twelve years old, had rid myself of every appearance
of childish diffidence. I was celebrated round the country for the
petulance of my remarks, and the quickness of my replies; and many a
scholar, five years older than myself, have I dashed into confusion by
the steadiness of my countenance, silenced by my readiness of repartee,
and tortured with envy by the address with which I picked up a fan,
presented a snuff-box, or received an empty tea-cup.
At fourteen I was completely skilled in all the niceties of dress, and I
could not only enumerate all the variety of silks, and distinguish the
product of a French loom, but dart my eye through a numerous
company, and observe every deviation from the reigning mode. I was
universally skilful in all the changes of expensive finery; but as every

one, they say, has something to which he is particularly born, was
eminently knowing in Brussels' lace.
The next year saw me advanced to the trust and power of adjusting the
ceremonial of an assembly. All received their partners from my hand,
and to me every stranger applied for introduction. My heart now
disdained the instructions of a tutor, who was rewarded with a small
annuity for life, and left me qualified, in my own opinion, to govern
myself.
In a short time I came to London, and as my father was well known
among the higher classes of life, soon obtained admission to the most
splendid assemblies and most crowded card-tables. Here I found myself
universally caressed and applauded; the ladies praised the fancy of my
clothes, the beauty of my form, and the softness of my voice;
endeavoured in every place to force themselves to my notice; and
invited, by a thousand oblique solicitations, my attendance to the
playhouse, and my salutations in the park. I was now happy to the
utmost extent of my conception; I passed every morning in dress, every
afternoon in visits, and every night in some select assemblies, where
neither care nor knowledge were suffered to molest us.
After a few years, however, these delights became familiar, and I had
leisure to look round me with more attention. I then found that my
flatterers had very little power to relieve the languor of satiety, or
recreate weariness, by varied amusement; and therefore endeavoured to
enlarge the sphere of my pleasures, and to try what satisfaction might
be found in the society of men. I will not deny the mortification with
which I perceived, that every man whose name I had heard mentioned
with respect, received me with a kind of tenderness, nearly bordering
on compassion; and that those whose reputation was not well
established, thought it necessary to justify their understandings, by
treating me with contempt. One of these witlings elevated his crest, by
asking me in a full coffee-house the price of patches; and another
whispered that he wondered why Miss Frisk did not keep me that
afternoon to watch her squirrel.
When I found myself thus hunted from all masculine conversation by
those who