The Puritain Widow | Page 8

swear wedid so.
CORPORAL. Oh, an excellent Tag of religion!
NICHOLAS. Oh Simon, I have thought upon a sound excuse; it will go currant: say that I am gone to a Fast.
SIMON. To a Fast? very good.
NICHOLAS. Aye, to a Fast, say, with Master Fullbelly the Minister.
SIMON. Master Fullbelly? an honest man: he feeds the flock well, for he's an excellent feeder.
[Exit Corporal, Nicholas.]
FRAILTY. Oh, aye, I have seen him eat up a whole Pig, and afterward fall to the pittitoes.
[Exit Simon and Frailty.]
SCENE IV.
The Prison, Marshalsea.
[Enter Captain Idle at one door, and later Pye-board and old soldier at the other. George Pye-board, speaking within.]
PYE. Pray turn the key.
SKIRMISH. Turn the key, I pray.
CAPTAIN. Who should those be? I almost know their voices.-- O my friends!
[Entering.]
Ya're welcome to a smelling Room here. You newly took leave of the air; ist not a strange savour?
PYE. As all prisons have: smells of sundry wretches, Who, tho departed, leave their scents behind 'em. By Gold, Captain, I am sincerely sorry for thee.
CAPTAIN. By my troth, George, I thank thee; but pish,--what must be, must be.
SKIRMISH. Captain, what do you lie in for? ist great? what's your offence?
CAPTAIN. Faith, my offence is ordinary,--common: A High-way; and I fear me my penalty will be ordinary and common too: a halter.
PYE. Nay, prophecy not so ill; it shall go heard, But I'll shift for thy life.
CAPTAIN. Whether I live or die, thou'art an honest George. I'll tell you--silver flowed not with me, as it had done, (for now the tide runs to Bawds and flatterers.) I had a start out, and by chance set upon a fat steward, thinking his purse had been as pursey as his body; and the slave had about him but the poor purchase of ten groats: notwithstanding, being descried, pursued, and taken, I know the Law is so grim, in respect of many desperate, unsettled soldiers, that I fear me I shall dance after their pipe for't.
SKIRMISH. I am twice sorry for you, Captain: first that your purchase was so small, and now that your danger is so great.
CAPTAIN. Push, the worst is but death,--ha you a pipe of Tobacco about you?
SKIRMISH. I think I have there abouts about me.
[Captain blows a pipe.]
CAPTAIN. Here's a clean Gentleman, too, to receive.
PYE. Well, I must cast about some happy slight. Work brain, that ever didst thy Master right!
CAPTAIN. Keeper! let the key be turn'd!
[Corporal and Nicholas within.]
NICHOLAS. Aye, I pray, Master keeper, give's a cast of your office.
CAPTAIN. How now? more Visitants?--what, Corporal Oath?
PYE. Corporal?
SKIRMISH. Corporal?
CORPORAL. In prison, honest Captain? this must not be.
NICHOLAS. How do you, Captain Kinsman>
CAPTAIN. Good Cocks-comb! what makes that pure, starch'd fool here?
NICHOLAS. You see, Kinsman, I am somewhat bold to call in, and see how you do. I heard you were safe enough, and I was very glad on't that it was no worse.
CAPTAIN. This is a double torture now,--this fool by'th book Do's vex me more than my imprisonment. What meant you, Corporal, to hook him hither?
CORPORAL. Who, he? he shall relieve thee, and supply thee; I'll make him do 't.
CAPTAIN. [Aside, to Oath.] Fie, what vain breath you spend! he supply? I'll sooner expect mercy from a Usurer when my bond's Forfeited, sooner kindness from a Layer when my money's spent: Nay, sooner charity from the devil, than good from a Puritan! I'll look for relief from him, when Lucifer is restor'd to his blood, and in Heaven again.
NICHOLAS. I warrant, my Kinsman's talking of me, for my left ear burns most tyrannically.
PYE. Captain Idle, what's he there? he looks like a Monkey upward, and a Crane down-ward.
CAPTAIN. Pshaw, a foolish Cousin of mine; I must thank God for him.
PYE. Why, the better subject to work a scape upon; thou shalt o'en change clothes with him, and leave him here, and so--
CAPTAIN. Push, I publish't him e'en now to my Corporal: he will be damned, ere he do me so much good; why, I know a more proper, a more handsome device than that, if the slave would be sociable. Now, goodman Fleer-face.
NICHOLAS. Oh, my Cousin begins to speak to me now: I shall be acquainted with him again, I hope.
SKIRMISH. Look what ridiculous Raptures take hold of his wrinkles.
PYE. Then, what say you to this device? a happy one, Captain?
CAPTAIN. Speak low, George; Prison Rats have wider ears than those in Malt-lofts.
NICHOLAS. Cousin, if it lay in my power, as they say--to--do--
CAPTAIN. Twould do me an exceeding pleasure, indeed, that, but ne'er talk forder on't: the fool will be hang'd, ere he do't.
[To the Corporal.]
CORPORAL. Pax, I'll thump 'im to't.
PYE. Why, do but try the Fopster, and break it to him bluntly.
CAPTAIN. And so my disgrace will dwell in his Jaws, and the slave slaver out our purpose to his Master, for would I were but