The Potiphar Papers

The Potiphar Papers

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Title: The Potiphar Papers
Author: George William Curtis
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[Illustration: George William Curtis]
THE POTIPHAR PAPERS
BY
GEORGE WILLIAM CURTIS
[Illustration: ILLUSTRATED BY A. HOPPIN]

"Imagination fondly stoops to trace The parlor splendors of that festive
place."
_Goldsmith's Deserted Village._
"Manners are what vex or soothe, corrupt or purify, exalt or debase,
barbarise or refine us, by a constant, steady, uniform, insensible
operation, like that of the air we breathe in."
_Burke's First Letter on a Regicide Peace._
"And I do seriously approve of that saying of yours, 'that you would
rather be a civil, well-governed, well-grounded, temperate, poor angler,
than a drunken lord.' But I hope there is none such."
_Walton's Angler._
"'Mon petit faquin de philosophé,' dit le Chevalier de Grammont, 'tu
fais ici le Caton de Normandie.'"
"'Est-ce que je mens?' poursuivit Saint-Evremond."
_Memoires de Grammont._

PREFATORY LETTER TO REV. CREAM CHEESE.
REV. AND DEAR SIR:
It is surely unnecessary to call the attention of so astute an observer,
and so austere a critic, as yourself, to the fact that the title of the leading
essay in this little volume (of which, permit me to say, you are so

essential an ornament) is marked as a quotation; and a quotation, as you
will very well remember, from the lips of our friend, Mrs, Potiphar,
herself.
Therefore, Rev. Sir, your judgment, which, you must allow me to say,
is no less impartial than your experience is profound, will suggest to
you that the subject of that essay (of the points of which the succeeding
sketches are but elaborations) is the aspect of what is currently termed
"our best society"--whether with reason or not, is beside the purpose.
Your pastoral charity, I am convinced, will persuade you to direct the
attention of your parishioners to this fact, and to assure them, that,
when you prepared your timely treatise upon the progress of purple
chasubles among the Feejee islanders, you were not justly amenable to
the charge of omitting all notice of the cultivation of artificial flowers
by the Grim Tartars. The latter are, I believe, a very estimable people,
but they were not the subjects of your consideration.
To those in your parish, and elsewhere, who have thought fit to suppose
that Mrs. Potiphar is Mrs. Somebody-else,--what can we say?
conscious as we are, that they who have once known that lady could
never confound her with another.
But for those who have actually supposed you, yourself, Reverend Sir,
to be, not somebody else, but nobody, (!) we can only smile
compassionately, and express the hope that a broader experience may
give them greater wisdom.
In taking leave of you, Sir, I know that I express the warmest wish of a
large, a very large parish (might almost say, diocese) that you may long
survive. For your parish is fully, and, as I think, most correctly
persuaded, that while there is a Cream Cheese, there will always be a
Mrs. Potiphar.
With all proper regard,
I am,
Reverend and Dear Sir,
Your very obedient,
humble servant,
THE EDITOR.
NEW YORK, December, 1853.

I.

"OUR BEST SOCIETY."
If gilt were only gold, or sugar-candy common sense, what a fine thing
our society would be! If to lavish money upon objets de vertu, to wear
the most costly dresses, and always to have them cut in the height of
the fashion; to build houses thirty feet broad, as if they were palaces; to
furnish them with all the luxurious devices of Parisian genius; to give