The Physiology of Marriage, part 3 | Page 9

it."
A stupid proposition, when made by two people who are forcing
themselves to say something utterly different from what they think.
Then she compelled me to take the path that led back to the chateau. I
do not know, at least I did not then know, whether this course was one
which she forced upon herself, whether it was the result of a vigorous
resolution, or whether she shared my disappointment in seeing an
incident which had begun so well thus suddenly brought to a close but
by a mutual instinct our steps slackened and we pursued our way
gloomily dissatisfied the one with the other and with ourselves. We
knew not the why and the wherefore of what we were doing. Neither of

us had the right to demand or even to ask anything. We had neither of
us any ground for uttering a reproach. O that we had got up a quarrel!
But how could I pick one with her? Meanwhile we drew nearer and
nearer, thinking how we might evade the duty which we had so
awkwardly imposed upon ourselves. We reached the door, when
Madame de T----- said to me:
"I am angry with you! After the confidences I have given you, not to
give me a single one! You have not said a word about the countess.
And yet it is so delightful to speak of the one we love! I should have
listened with such interest! It was the very best I could do after I had
taken you away from her!"
"Cannot I reproach you with the same thing?" I said, interrupting her,
"and if instead of making me a witness to this singular reconciliation in
which I play so odd a part, you had spoken to me of the marquis--"
"Stop," she said, "little as you know of women, you are aware that their
confidences must be waited for, not asked. But to return to yourself.
Are you very happy with my friend? Ah! I fear the contrary--"
"Why, madame, should everything that the public amuses itself by
saying claim our belief?"
"You need not dissemble. The countess makes less a mystery of things
than you do. Women of her stamp do not keep the secrets of their loves
and of their lovers, especially when you are prompted by discretion to
conceal her triumph. I am far from accusing her of coquetry; but a
prude has as much vanity as a coquette.--Come, tell me frankly, have
you not cause of complaint against her?"
"But, madame, the air is really too icy for us to stay here. Would you
like to go in?" said I with a smile.
"Do you find it so?--That is singular. The air is quite warm."
She had taken my arm again, and we continued to walk, although I did
not know the direction which we took. All that she had hinted at
concerning the lover of the countess, concerning my mistress, together
with this journey, the incident which took place in the carriage, our
conversation on the grassy bank, the time of night, the moonlight--all
made me feel anxious. I was at the same time carried along by vanity,
by desire, and so distracted by thought, that I was too excited perhaps
to take notice of all that I was experiencing. And, while I was
overwhelmed with these mingled feelings, she continued talking to me

of the countess, and my silence confirmed the truth of all that she chose
to say about her. Nevertheless, certain passages in her talk recalled me
to myself.
"What an exquisite creature she is!" she was saying. "How graceful! On
her lips the utterances of treachery sound like witticism; an act of
infidelity seems the prompting of reason, a sacrifice to propriety; while
she is never reckless, she is always lovable; she is seldom tender and
never sincere; amorous by nature, prudish on principle; sprightly,
prudent, dexterous though utterly thoughtless, varied as Proteus in her
moods, but charming as the Graces in her manner; she attracts but she
eludes. What a number of parts I have seen her play! /Entre nous/, what
a number of dupes hang round her! What fun she has made of the baron,
what a life she has led the marquis! When she took you, it was merely
for the purpose of throwing the two rivals off the scent; they were on
the point of a rupture; for she had played with them too long, and they
had had time to see through her. But she brought you on the scene.
Their attention was called to you, she led them to redouble their pursuit,
she was in despair over you, she pitied you, she consoled you-- Ah!
how happy is a clever woman when in such a game as this